It’s 5:45AM and the weight of my daughter’s shadow teases my eyes open. Her nose brushes my ear, and a beat later, a soft tug on the covers tells me she is waiting to gain entrance to our bed. I open the sheets and she slides in, placing her head like a Jenga under my…Continue Reading
Etcetera
You Won’t Regret It
Have you read The Book Thief yet? I really want you to. First of all, it’s epic. Second of all, it’s told from Death’s point of view. Third of all, it’s historical fiction set during the Holocaust. Fourthly, the writing is unique and raw. Also charming, just not in the expected places. Fifth and…Continue Reading
PROMPTuesday #79: The Story Starter
Here we go! This week, use the below in your first paragraph somewhere: “You’re not going to win you know.” She couldn’t look at him when she said it. “Maybe not. But I take heart in knowing that neither one of us will be the same when it’s all over.” He pushed the…Continue Reading
Check it Out
FYI! I’m amending my PR policies, the ones that exist solely in my head and often change without due notice, as follows. I will engage in a PR relationship with a PR person in a PR-y way if: 1) There is cheese. 2) The product/service reminds me of when I was young…Continue Reading
Last I’ll Say on the Subject
So the swine flu. I’ve observed for myself and heard from other moms that in many cases, pediatricians are not testing for H1N1 in their patients with flu symptoms. When Toots went to the doctor last Monday with fever and arguable fluey stuff going on, my pediatrician, whom I respect and trust, told…Continue Reading
The Day After the Day After
Toots’s cure for the flu. It’s important that the green cylinder be placed ONLY on the left foot, second piggy from the big toe. Also, the plastic eyeball MUST be affixed firmly to the left shin. Not the knee. The shin. Furthermore, be sure to use only pink and orange Bendaroos for the criss-cross.…Continue Reading
Cure for the Swine Flu Blues
…Find out that it’s “probably” NOT the swine flu as the pediatrician initially speculated. Learn that it’s “probably” just a virus. Dedicate rest of life to the abolition of the word “probably.” As a secondary life mission, decide to insist on stuff like swine flu tests because assertive people have more peace of mind.…Continue Reading
PROMPTuesday #78: The Secret Cave
So today my pediatrician says, “Influenza,” and I say, “Are you thinking H1N1?” and he says, “I AM thinking H1N1 because it is the only strain out there right now,” and I say, “But H1N1 isn’t supposed to be real…it’s supposed to be a construct of my imagination that slowly drives me insane until April,”…Continue Reading
Strands
First she asks how Johnny Appleseed died, then Christopher Columbus. Eager to encourage her learning, even if it is morbid, we look up the details. Appleseed gave in to pneumonia at age 72; Columbus suffered a heart attack at 55. She’s not satisfied. What is pneumonia, she inquires. How does a heart ‘attack’ you? …Continue Reading
Disney Tips for the Serious-Minded
As a blogger you all look up to for travel tips and theme park reviews, I thought I’d take this time to outline a few “Do’s and Don’ts” for Disneyland. Also, since I visited both California Adventure and Disneyland last weekend, I feel I am eminently qualified to offer my opinions on how you…Continue Reading
Good Golly, Miss Molly
Allright, look. I’m sick of pretending. Here’s the straight-up: I’m a nutcase. I guess you’re now going to have to refrain from offering me that job and asking me to watch your kids. I’ve also got to tell you that my crazy is growing. It’s not quite OCD — yet — but I do dream…Continue Reading
The Nether
It started with the legs. An ill-timed kick here, a knee toward the groin there. Pretty wicked for someone who is unconscious. Then your fingers. Usually the pointer, as if trying to show you. The way it jerks suddenly but with purpose. See? see? X marks the spot. Right there in front of you all…Continue Reading
