I love my two little girls. Deep down-to-the-soul, lift-my-heart, in-every-last-fiber love. It’s no different for those of you with children. Now imagine if your child were sick — not needs Tylenol every four hours sick, but sick-and-might-die sick.

I’m sorry to make you go there in your head, but someone in our community is there for real right now. I know there are many, many children sick and in hospitals and if we could offer support to every single one, we would. Maybe there’s something we can do for this one little girl. Right now.

I would write more, but La Jolla Mom wrote it better than I ever could. Please head over there and read about Penny.

Not too long ago, my brother sent me a link to Elizabeth Gilbert’s TED speech on creativity (which I’ve posted here several times) and told me, “This woman reminds me a bit of you, and I think you’ll probably enjoy it if you haven’t seen it.”

Well of course I was semi-flattered, because as the author of Eat, Pray, Love, Gilbert is successful and a writer — two things on my “to-do” list of life. But I don’t know, something about her has always bugged me a little. I could never put my finger on it exactly, but whatever it was tempered my enthusiasm for her. So while I enjoyed her TED speech, I still found myself not completely wooed.

THEN, my other brother, my dopey, lame OTHER brother (who had been cc:d on the above), sent me the below email.

“Good timing on this video - Both because I’ve been working on a project for a TED wish winner at work, and because I just read a review of Elizabeth Gilbert’s new book that had some great insights into this sort of personality.

Some highlights:

“It does not take a lot to get Gilbert worked up.”

“Keeping things in perspective is not Gilbert’s strong suit. This is why she goes on so many trips and does so much information gathering: she wants to understand how her fellow-humans have resolved the issues that torment her. The result is Gilbert’s new book, a journey through domestic history and her own neuroses.”

“Ultimately, Gilbert is clear about what she, like most people, wants: everything. Intimacy and autonomy, security and stimulation, reassurance and novelty, coziness and thrills.”

And my personal favorite, something every man can probably relate to:

“All this ambivalence, expressed in her high-drama prose, can be a lot to handle. (One generally doesn’t indulge another person’s emotional processing at this length unless the jabbering is likely to conclude with sex.)”

Right. NOW I get it.

Also, the email from my brother(s)?

Was titled, “Deb’s Alter Ego.”

Sometimes it takes those closest to you to really show you yourself.

Those little fuckers.

Oh the things we do.

Last night, Booger coughed constantly and continuously and for the frack ever. Like as in and for example, ALL NIGHT LONG. She obviously had a tickle in her throat that wouldn’t quit and it plagued her throughout the ENTIRE EVENING AND INTO THE DAY.

As a concerned mother and sleep addict, I cared deeply about this cough tickle and hoped it would magically disappear if I ignored it. (Militant parental types please note: The tickle is just a tickle and if she were sick, I would have made my husband go in there and do something comforting and healing.)
As it turned out, the tickle would not go quietly into the night, so I eventually hopped was pushed out of bed and made my way to Booger’s room to perform a de-cough-tickle voodoo ritual.

Because I’d already given Booger some stuff for her throat and made her drink enough water so she’ll pee into summer vacation, I was left to my own devices and imagination. As a mother, I’ve often found that for kids, just the suggestion of magical healing is enough, and so I searched my sleep-addled mind for something that would make Booger think she didn’t have the cough tickle anymore.

I got real creative. First, I started with “let me tickle that tickle away,” a fun game comprised of stroking Booger’s back until she relaxed enough to fall asleep. When that didn’t work I tried, “let’s blow that tickle out!” a hilarious time of making Booger exhale loudly into a napkin until the tickle popped out. Since that wasn’t effective either, it was time to pull out the big guns. This is where the voodoo comes in.

First, I folded the bed covers just so under Booger’s chin. Then I massaged her cheeks to disperse the tickle energy and draw it into my cupped hand. Once the tickle was procured, I shook it real hard (just because) and brought the curled fist to my ear. I gave that tickle a chance to explain itself, but after hearing what it had to say, told it loudly, I WILL NOT ACCEPT YOUR APOLOGY! YOU ARE IN TIME OUT!, and opened a dresser drawer to shove that damn tickle inside.

During this important medical procedure, Booger watched attentively. When she was sure the bothersome tickle was in a place where it could not get out for the rest of the night, she settled in for some much-needed sleep.

And so things went along nicely and silently until the tickle managed to escape three minutes later with the help of its unseemly friends, Bigger Tickle, Enormous Tickle, and Screw-You Tickle.

Ain’t enough voodoo in the world gonna take care of those three.

Seems there are a lot of people who want to get to know me better and send me Canadian medications through the U.S. mail. Really, these people must be very lonely. I feel bad for them. I’m thinking of visiting them personally so they can know firsthand the warm connection of real human interaction. I think I’ll start with Ashley X. I just need an address, but I’m guessing she lives in a probably posh penthouse/s#x cave. Once I find her geographic coordinates, I plan to drive right up/down there, knock on her door, and loudly proclaim, “Ashley! I’m here! You wanted to have lunch, remember? I brought the $200 dollars! We’re having ’sushi,’ right?”

Or drive to Lorita Linz’s place and shout through the window, “Hi Lorita! I’m here for my Cialis soft tabs! You said you’d sell and ship to anywhere on the globe, but I was in the neighborhood so thought I’d stop by!”

Then, I’d make a stop at Brandie’s place so she could remove my dark circles and make my eyes more attractive permanently. And if I really felt energetic, I’d swing by Ladee Luvs Men’s house because she told me she “enjoys all types of men,” so I’m assuming she means wo-men too. I’m not sure how we’ll enjoy each other, but I’m game to find out. There’ll probably be tea.

After I exhaust my spam visit quota in the U.S., I hope to travel to Africa. There’s a deposed Nigerian prince there who needs me to remit the amount of $8,000 into a dormant back account so his confiscated funds can…oh. well, it’s all so very sad. I just hope I can help him in time. But if not, I understand he has a cousin in the Czech Republic who could use a hand.

This PROMPT is lifted entirely from my friend Eden’s brain. Eden (I call her Stephanie) is the founder and editor of an amazing literary journal, AND the creator of a fiction workshop that I signed up for and didn’t finish. (More on that last part later.) Eden also is a great writer (can we share the link to your Amazon breakout fiction story again, Steph?). Anyway, the PROMPT I am completely copying from her fiction workshop is:

Tell a story using ONLY dialogue.

A toughie, right? But I know you can do it.

Please post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.

First time to PROMPTuesday? Read a bit about it here.
Want to see what’s been written in the past? Catch up on the PROMPTuesdays archive here.

This is my semi-annual and infrequent “Stuff I Like” post that I write every so often to fill up the blank spaces in my mind. That’s right. Today? I can’t think of a darn thing to write. Other than this.

Still. These things, this “stuff I like” really moves me. All these items were purchased by me, not provided by sponsors (not that I’d even know a sponsor if one came up and bit me in the ad space), and are used very often by moi for my intense pleasure in a non-vibratory fashion.*

Let’s get to it.

First up is skincare. Oy, my skin. It is unhappy with me. It lets me know this in wrinkly, oily, zitty ways. Over the years, I’ve experimented with many, many products to sooth the savage complexion beast. Here are some of my favorites:

Vitamin C Serum from Pure Parisians

I once read that a dermatologist can tell right off if a person uses Vitamin C treatments on her face. There’s a certain smoothness and glowiness to the complexion that’s immediately obvious. I’ve used a lot of Vitamin C serums in my day, but this one is my favorite. It absorbs instantly. It doesn’t make my skin oily or break out. And it doesn’t have “that smell.” You know the one. Also, I notice a difference in my skintone when I use this, which I appreciate more than I can ever tell you.

Creme de la Creme Eye Revitalizing Treatment

I don’t what’s in this exactly (actually, the website tells you all the ingredients), but it’s a miracle worker. It’s kinda like an eye suck eraser. I put this stuff on and I instantly feel like I can go places without makeup. My eyes are refreshed and non-crepey. I love, love, LOVE this cream. Also, I hear there’s a new eye product on the market from Pure Parisians that tightens. TIGHTENS. There can never be enough tightening in my life.

I will buy this immediately.

Theresa Rose Jewelry

If you’re looking for affordable, unique, cool, wear-it-everyday jewelry, I insist you head over to this Etsy site right now. Go ahead, leave me. It’s OK. I adore this shop for necklaces and earrings I can wear to jazz up my mom uniform, my girl’s night out outfit, my date ensemble. I hear Theresa’s jewelry also looks good on naked people.

The Reliable Wife is my book club pick this month. Although I haven’t finished it yet, I am adoring the writing style. The plot is absorbing, the characters interesting, and the promise of booky goodness to come is enticing. I’ll let you know how it was when I’m done with it, but for now, I’m rating this a “must-read.”

Staires.org

I love this guy’s frickin’ site. I like the way he writes, I like what he says, I like his music picks. I’ve discovered tons of new music by reading his write-ups. Every day he picks another song to review, AND includes the song to sample. The link I shared above is his “Best of 2009″ post. It’s a must-listen if you like discovering new artists and songs (and old artists and songs you may have missed).

So there you go! I hope you take the time to enjoy the above in a non-vibratory fashion, as I have.

Or….

Nah. On second thought, keep the vibratory parts to yourself.

*I don’t know. Sometimes I just write and hope it makes sense in the end.

Notes:

1. I lied. I will tell you: I was on San Diego Channel 6’s Saturday morning news. There is no link though, thank the Lord in His starry heaven above.

2. The “Lia Sophia jewelry rep lady” is Elizabeth (link here).

3. I never actually said the names of the products I demo’d (that’s bad, right?) So please see below for the links to the products. There were some good ones. Plus, I’ve giving one or two of them away.

Mama Mary won the stuffed pig treasure chest and We Sit by Fire? You won the MyPlate-Mate! Congrats! You wanna email me your addresses? Or shall we arrange a pickup day?

You remember that TV thing, right? As in, I’m going to be on it?

I’ve got my Secret Extra Strength ready to roll and a six-pack of Tums in my pocket, in case I over-perspire or throw up on camera. Thanks for your helpful tips. I especially appreciate the reminders to be myself…just not sure which self to be. There are so many of us. Hopefully I’ll figure it out by tomorrow. Maybe it’ll be the librarian whose a real firecracker in the sack.

Meanwhile, I thought I’d share the items I’ll be demo’ing. If you’d like, you can learn more about them by clicking the links below. I’ll be giving away the first two dealie-bobs (Treasure Chest Pets and MyPlate-Mate), so if you’d like to win, just leave me a comment with what you’d prefer and be sure to include your email! I’ll randomly pick two people to win on Wednesday, March 9.

Treasure Chest Pets are stuffed animal organizers that are a great way for kids to keep their special things safe. Each TC Pet has a magnetic, detachable, pillowy stuffed animal head and stuffed animal body with external and internal compartments for organizing and storing children’s treasures. I am showing the Accessory Chest Pig, which has a hidden drawer and two secret pockets on the outside, along with hidey pockets in both ears.

MyPlate-Mate is a spill-guard for toddlers that attaches to the rim of any standard plate. In a nutshell, it creates a bumper to prevent food from falling off the plate while a child eats. Also, the Plate-Mate’s curved wall helps kids easily scoop food onto their fork, spoon, finger. The Plate-Mate has no lead, phthalates, bisphenol-a, polycarbonates or PVC. Plus! It’s dishwasher-safe.

The BumpyName is a line of elastic rubber labels that are personalized, non-adhesive, reusable and come in a variety of colors. BumpyName’s stretchy design allows it to snugly fit around containers, from baby bottles to sippy cups to snack containers. These suckers are heavy duty and can withstand the rigors of repeated dishwashing, microwaving, boiling and sterilizing.

So there you go. Now be honest, who took bets on whether or not I’d accidentally smell my pits during the interview?