I can’t get enough of this song.
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The Day After the Day After
Toots’s cure for the flu. It’s important that the green cylinder be placed ONLY on the left foot, second piggy from the big toe. Also, the plastic eyeball MUST be affixed firmly to the left shin. Not the knee. The shin. Furthermore, be sure to use only pink and orange Bendaroos for the criss-cross.…Continue Reading
Cure for the Swine Flu Blues
…Find out that it’s “probably” NOT the swine flu as the pediatrician initially speculated. Learn that it’s “probably” just a virus. Dedicate rest of life to the abolition of the word “probably.” As a secondary life mission, decide to insist on stuff like swine flu tests because assertive people have more peace of mind.…Continue Reading
PROMPTuesday #78: The Secret Cave
So today my pediatrician says, “Influenza,” and I say, “Are you thinking H1N1?” and he says, “I AM thinking H1N1 because it is the only strain out there right now,” and I say, “But H1N1 isn’t supposed to be real…it’s supposed to be a construct of my imagination that slowly drives me insane until April,”…Continue Reading
Strands
First she asks how Johnny Appleseed died, then Christopher Columbus. Eager to encourage her learning, even if it is morbid, we look up the details. Appleseed gave in to pneumonia at age 72; Columbus suffered a heart attack at 55. She’s not satisfied. What is pneumonia, she inquires. How does a heart ‘attack’ you? …Continue Reading
PROMPTuesday #77: Keeping the Towel
Today, write about a time you almost gave up on something, but didn’t. Please post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments. First time to PROMPTuesday? Read a bit about it here. Want to see what’s been written in the…Continue Reading
Disney Tips for the Serious-Minded
As a blogger you all look up to for travel tips and theme park reviews, I thought I’d take this time to outline a few “Do’s and Don’ts” for Disneyland. Also, since I visited both California Adventure and Disneyland last weekend, I feel I am eminently qualified to offer my opinions on how you…Continue Reading
Boobabooblooza
If you live in San Diego and want to hang out while raising money for breast cancer research, won’t you consider joining me here? Let me know if you will be there, so I can look for your boobs.
PROMPTuesday #76: Waz Up In There?
It’s story time! Today’s PROMPT is: A new maid comes to your home to clean, and as you’re about to leave to run an errand, you find her to say you’ll be right back, but instead of dusting, you see her in your bathroom rifling through your medicine cabinet. Tell the rest of…Continue Reading
I LOVE this Newsletter
Scroll down a bit for the How To Class Up Your Halloween Party article.
Good Golly, Miss Molly
Allright, look. I’m sick of pretending. Here’s the straight-up: I’m a nutcase. I guess you’re now going to have to refrain from offering me that job and asking me to watch your kids. I’ve also got to tell you that my crazy is growing. It’s not quite OCD — yet — but I do dream…Continue Reading
The Nether
It started with the legs. An ill-timed kick here, a knee toward the groin there. Pretty wicked for someone who is unconscious. Then your fingers. Usually the pointer, as if trying to show you. The way it jerks suddenly but with purpose. See? see? X marks the spot. Right there in front of you all…Continue Reading
