March 23rd, 2009
UPDATED: She said yes!
This man has no idea. Poor sap.
After eight years, I think I’ve managed to distill my marriage advice (ha ha ha ha ha! those three words sound funny together!) into one sentence:
Be willing to work. To make things better when they’re not so hot. To stay open. To try again.
I could focus on the dreamy, pie-in-the-sky relationship stuff, but I’m not going to, because I’ve found that relationships are more about how you handle the hard times, then how you ride out the good. I mean, I’ve reached low points in my marriage, where I want to throw my hands up, yell “la la la la la la,” and rent that quiet cottage at the beach. But? I keep trying. I hang in there. I stick around – both emotionally and physically.
And my husband does too. Because you both need to be willing. It usually doesn’t fly for long if just one of you has the desire to make it work all the time. And of course, there are very legitimate reasons to not make it work. I’m just fortunate enough to not have any of those reasons.
I don’t know. I understand there are many people out there for who marriage is easy. It’s just not that way for me. For many reasons. I’m fundamentally selfish, I like things my way, I don’t easily (or often) say “I’m sorry.”
But I’m willing to keep trying to be better. Oh how I want to be better, I want to be better. And luckily, I found someone who wants to be better too. With me. (I don’t get it either.)
So “be willing.”
That’s my advice.
And here’s one more tip:
“Always keep the thermostat set at 70 degrees.”
Trust me on that one.
Have marriage or relationship advice of your own to share? Head over here and leave a link. Someone I super duper like is getting engaged and you can be a part of it! The whole thing is playing out here. But it’s still quiet-quiet…so shhhh…..