ScamaLot

Seems there are a lot of people who want to get to know me better and send me Canadian medications through the U.S. mail. Really, these people must be very lonely. I feel bad for them. I’m thinking of visiting them personally so they can know firsthand the warm connection of real human interaction. I think I’ll start with Ashley X. I just need an address, but I’m guessing she lives in a probably posh penthouse/s#x cave. Once I find her geographic coordinates, I plan to drive right up/down there, knock on her door, and loudly proclaim, “Ashley! I’m here! You wanted to have lunch, remember? I brought the $200 dollars! We’re having ‘sushi,’ right?”

Or drive to Lorita Linz’s place and shout through the window, “Hi Lorita! I’m here for my Cialis soft tabs! You said you’d sell and ship to anywhere on the globe, but I was in the neighborhood so thought I’d stop by!”

Then, I’d make a stop at Brandie’s place so she could remove my dark circles and make my eyes more attractive permanently. And if I really felt energetic, I’d swing by Ladee Luvs Men’s house because she told me she “enjoys all types of men,” so I’m assuming she means wo-men too. I’m not sure how we’ll enjoy each other, but I’m game to find out. There’ll probably be tea.

After I exhaust my spam visit quota in the U.S., I hope to travel to Africa. There’s a deposed Nigerian prince there who needs me to remit the amount of $8,000 into a dormant back account so his confiscated funds can…oh. well, it’s all so very sad. I just hope I can help him in time. But if not, I understand he has a cousin in the Czech Republic who could use a hand.