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Kitchen Sink

And A Great Swarm of Bees Shall Arise

March 29th, 2008

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I’m driving home from work today when I notice a little bee clinging to my driver’s side window. Now, I don’t like bees much, as I don’t prefer spiders, or any other insect that is an insect so I have to force myself to stay calm, because even though he’s outside the car, we all know that bees can infiltrate your vehicle through a vent or even collapse themselves into the thickness of an envelope, slide through a window crack and flay you alive, now don’t we?

 

But I’m doing pretty good. Just taking deep breaths and stuff when I see 800 and 45 and 3 ajillion other bees swarming the street and the space around my car.

 

So I then think to myself as any self-respecting hysteric in my position would, “ARMAGEDDON!” And: “A great plague hath descended upon the people!” And: “Oh, cursed sinners! We’ve really done it now!”

 

And my mind races to why are bees swarming the land possibilities like, “MUTANT MAN-EATING BEE VIRUS SWEEPS UNIVERSE,” or “KILLER BEES DO MADMAN’S BIDDING,” or “RESEARCHERS MAKE FATAL MISTAKE BY MISSPELLING ZOMBIE DURING SECRET EXPERIMENT.”

 

And all along, the bees are swarming, people are stopping their cars to look, and I wonder when The Rapture will come for me.

 

Then, the light turned green and I drove through the swarm as the skies cleared and the four horseman galloped away.

 

I make it home alive and and when I told my husband about the apocalypto, he said simply, “Oh, the bees are migrating.”

 

I’m so misunderstood.

 

Sci Fi Channel? Call me.

 

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On March 29th, 2008, Cheri said:

Check out my bee story (posted at Blog This Mom on July 7, 2006), “To Bee or Not to Bee.”

“ARMAGEDDON!” LOL!!!

On March 30th, 2008, Deborah said:

Oh, I love bees! They are essential to our ecosystem and survival and they just want to spread pollen and make honey. A hive can only have one queen and so at this time of the year when another queen is born, many of the worker bees have to surround the queen, break away and go in search of another hive site.

The nuns kept hives on the grounds of the convent, so we all had to don those attractive net hats and help them harvest the honey comb. Ah, the joys of boarding school with the nuns!

On March 30th, 2008, matteroffactmommy said:

LOLOLOL!

wow, sounds like you went through a lot of different thoughts during those 30.5 seconds while sitting at a stoplight. ;)

On March 31st, 2008, Melissa said:

That has happened to me four or five times here in San Diego! Twice I drove through a swarm of them on the 52, one time a swarm flew right over the roof of our house, and twice here at work. It’s very weird but so far we haven’t been stung. OH! And there’s the time we were hiking on Cowles Mountain and had to JOG THROUGH THEM! (I’m not kidding.) Besides driving a car and giving birth, it was probably the most death-defying thing I’ve ever done.

On March 31st, 2008, Da Goddess said:

On my little desert trip with the girls (um, ten days ago?), we had the top down on the car, right? So, I’m sitting in the front seat, thinking I’m glad I’m not sitting in the back because we all know that’s where the bugs end up. Uh, yeah. I get a very overly-intimate bee who swooshes past the windshield and lands right between my legs. I wasn’t 100% sure it was a bee, but what other flying insect is it going to be? Not with my luck! So, I calmly don’t move, as in barely even breathing type stuff, and ask my friend Patty to pull over. I then CAREFULLY and slowly (ABC Sports don’t know nothin’ ’bout slo-mo compared to me) lift myself with my arms, which is totally funny in and of itself because I have the upper body strength of a preemie, and as I rise up, a big ass bee wanders across the seat, looks up at me and yells, “WTF you doin’?” Then he flies off all non-chalant.

If I’d had my way, he’d be toast.

On July 18th, 2008, DaGoddess.com » Bee Movie Hijinks said:

[…] only flaw in an otherwise flawless person so I think I can forgive her this one thing), was telling her bee story and I totally remembered an incident from the desert trip. I could just point you in the direction […]

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