March 29th, 2008
I’m driving home from work today when I notice a little bee clinging to my driver’s side window. Now, I don’t like bees much, as I don’t prefer spiders, or any other insect that is an insect so I have to force myself to stay calm, because even though he’s outside the car, we all know that bees can infiltrate your vehicle through a vent or even collapse themselves into the thickness of an envelope, slide through a window crack and flay you alive, now don’t we?
But I’m doing pretty good. Just taking deep breaths and stuff when I see 800 and 45 and 3 ajillion other bees swarming the street and the space around my car.
So I then think to myself as any self-respecting hysteric in my position would, “ARMAGEDDON!” And: “A great plague hath descended upon the people!” And: “Oh, cursed sinners! We’ve really done it now!”
And my mind races to why are bees swarming the land possibilities like, “MUTANT MAN-EATING BEE VIRUS SWEEPS UNIVERSE,” or “KILLER BEES DO MADMAN’S BIDDING,” or “RESEARCHERS MAKE FATAL MISTAKE BY MISSPELLING ZOMBIE DURING SECRET EXPERIMENT.”
And all along, the bees are swarming, people are stopping their cars to look, and I wonder when The Rapture will come for me.
Then, the light turned green and I drove through the swarm as the skies cleared and the four horseman galloped away.
I make it home alive and and when I told my husband about the apocalypto, he said simply, “Oh, the bees are migrating.”
I’m so misunderstood.
Sci Fi Channel? Call me.