San Diego Momma. A San Diego Mom Blogger.

About Me

I'm a mom, wife, writer and soul searcher who colors life with words.


Learn More




Kitchen Sink

I’m in a Bathing Suit. Enough Said. (Week One)

June 1st, 2011

I’ve been very unhealthy the last two years. Not taking my vitamins, drinking all the time, eating a proliferation of cheeses. I kind of buried my head in the sand with it all because that’s easy to do when you’re busy and working all the time. I have to admit that I’ve completely ignored the widening areas of my body until a few months ago when I realized I could no longer shove my buttocks into a pair of size 6 jeans. Then, size 8 started feeling snug.


I know I’m not heavy, but I’m not healthy either, and being as intimately acquainted with my body as I am, I’m quite aware when I’m past my feel-good weight. I’m tired, out-of-breath, and draggy. I can’t fit into clothes, I feel uncomfortable in my skin.


I haven’t been this over my target weight since college, and I’m even counting my two pregnancies.


Yes. Right now, I weigh the same as I did when I was pregnant.


When I had a nine-pound baby in my stomach.


I know a small portion of my weight onslaught is my advancing age (42), and slowing metabolism, but I suspect most of it is wine every night and an utter lack of physical activity. Furthermore, I recently came away with an anemia diagnosis and a sudden weight gain of 10 pounds in the last three months, and it’s not my thyroid. It’s that I’m not taking care of myself.


Something needs to be done.


Something drastic.


Something where I don’t just say I’m going to get back into shape, but instead post a picture of myself in a bathing suit to publicly humiliate my lame brain into adhering to some sort of fitness program.


And I know: I need to stop drinking, too.


These things are difficult for me because my stress coping mechanisms are eating and drinking. And yelling. And not moving much. I’ve been under a fair load of work pressure and feel quite swamped and overloaded, but that doesn’t mean my butt has to be too.


Also, enough excuses.


The Rock and I got in a fight Saturday night because he chastised me for complaining about my body and not doing anything about it, so I replied with what every mentally healthy female my age would say: Shut up! You’re dumb!” and “You don’t know what it’s like!” and “I’m busy!” and “I work hard!” and “I have limited time!”


I wish I’d shut up, because sometimes I can be dumb.


So here is me in a bathing suit. Seeing it up close is jarring; there’s more weight gain than I suspected once it’s in front of my eyes.


I’ll post another picture in about six weeks and hope we all see a difference.


And no. I don’t know why my crotch looks puffy.




On June 1st, 2011, Laurie Ann said:

You are the bravest of the brave.

Also, Nice package.

On June 1st, 2011, Kizz said:

You’re brave. And pretty.

I’m wearing my bathing suit in a parade in 2 weeks. Wish me luck!

On June 1st, 2011, JenniferfromLaJolla said:

I think you look beautiful–red is definitely your color.
P.S. Don’t say mean things about my friend.
P.S.S. I am 43, so ixnay on the advanced age comments…
P.S.S.S. I am done being bossy now.

On June 1st, 2011, Ali said:

Hello, Hot San Diego Momma! Are you crazy? If I looked like that in a suit, I’m pretty sure I’d be ecstatic! Props for taking AND posting this shot, and I mean it when I say I can’t wait to see the follow-up shot, since I already think you look amazing!

I don’t think I will POST them, but I should probably take a couple of “before” shots, since I am about to embark upon YET ANOTHER attempt at losing weight! Haven’t decided if I will blog it this time, or just do it and keep it to myself…decisions, decisions!

Thanks for the inspiration that you ALWAYS are, Lovey!

On June 1st, 2011, Sondra said:

Yes, I have to agree with all of the above comments:

You look great in red.
You are a brave, brave soul.
You look HOT. Seriously. Another six weeks and you’ll be smokin’ HOT.

And now I’m in a complete panic since our summer vacation is now a month away and I have to somehow pull off a swimsuit too.

Last year at this time I was pregnant which means I now have to go shopping for a new suit. Ugh.

Can I have that wine you’re not drinking?

On June 1st, 2011, The Zadge said:

You go girl! I completely relate – I turned 47 last week and have never had to worry about my weight until last year, when the Gelatinous Muffin Top kept showing up. Unfortunately, I DO workout 6 days a week and I eat super healthy, so I knew it had to be either the advancing age or the nightly libations, or both. And I can’t seem to give up the libations. Sigh.

On June 1st, 2011, Cheryl @ Mommypants said:

You look HAWT. You so do, my friend. What I wouldn’t give to have a nice rack!

However, I know what you mean. EXACTLY what you mean. It’s crazy how are body revolts against us when we’re not paying attention.

Anyway, good for you. Good for you. I look forward to hearing about your progress!

Also – what IS with the puffy crotch?

On June 1st, 2011, Trish said:

Um, you sort of look great!! We are our own worst critics.

On June 1st, 2011, Life by Cynthia said:

Lady, you are my new hero! Go on with your hot self! I’m cheering for you. I need to do the same. I just turned 40, our son will be one soon – I wore the biggest bathing suit on my recent Hawaiian vacation (Prior to baby I ONLY wore the tiniest bikinis..OVER IT). Secretly I wished I still pull it off…You inspire me. I’m looking forward to your 6 wk update pic.

On June 1st, 2011, Morgan B. said:

Deb! You have hot legs and a great rack. I applaud you for wanting to get healthy and improve your lifestyle, but girlfriend- numbers don’t mean a thing. You are beautiful inside and put. Can’t wait to follow your journey!

On June 1st, 2011, San Diego Momma said:

You all are very nice. I choose the most flattering pose I could — hope you like the model-crook-arm look.


I promise I don’t need vaginal rejuvenation yet. And I don’t have a thatch of hair in there. What gives?

On June 1st, 2011, Marissa said:

I think you look great!

On June 1st, 2011, kendra said:

Whoa, Nelly, but you really do look good. And I’m not nice. But I’ve gone through the same thing: I was size x forever, then x + 1, now I’m inching toward x + 2…. so I getcha, girlfriend. You go. And yes, RED. Always RED.

On June 1st, 2011, Ferd said:

Well, as an older guy, all I can say now that I’ve popped my eyeballs back in their sockets and wiped the drool off the side of my mouth, is that you look FANTASTIC!!
But you go do whatever you need to do to feel healthy and strong! You already have the good-looking part! :-)

On June 1st, 2011, Everyday Mama said:

I love you! You look fantastic and especially in Baywatch Red :) And I also love cheese…lots of good cheese. Of course our weekend at BlogHer I was starving the whole time…there was not enough cheese!

On June 1st, 2011, San Diego Momma said:

I’m back.
What IS in my crotch?

On June 1st, 2011, Lisa said:

Girl, you’re brave AND beautiful, and sassy too for sounding off to your hubby. Nicely done. I don’t do a thing about my weight either, although I do order Beach Body DVD series like a professional. Good luck on the next six weeks, you may inspire me to work out too!

On June 1st, 2011, Laural Out Loud said:

Yeah, you are going to look fantastic in six weeks, because you’re already rockin’ the poolside look. And is that your pool? Can I comandeer it for a party I’m having in July? Not seriously, lol. But seriously?

On June 1st, 2011, Alexandra said:

I think you have a fantastic figure.

Great legs.

But I know what you mean. No one likes their pants snug.

So, I get what you mean. You don’t like where you’re at.

On June 1st, 2011, Jill said:

I am in love with you! You are truly one in a million.

On June 1st, 2011, Mama Mary said:

Rockin’ the red bathing suit, girl! Love that you posted this! Now? I want you to sign up for Vegas Rock ‘n’ Roll with me to give you the extra push you want/need. xoxoxo

On June 2nd, 2011, Rima said:

Though I understand that we are our own worst critics, I think you look really good in that bathing suit. Truly.

On June 2nd, 2011, Red Lotus Mama said:

I bow down, girl! You have fabulous legs and have nothing to hide. I can only hope to have a figure like yours some day. And, now I want to go out and buy a red one piece swim suit … xo

On June 2nd, 2011, Jacquie said:

Good for you. Once you get out of those size 8s, get rid of them. Exercise is the best therapy there is, and it buys you the right to have a damn drink when you want one. I’ll be rooting for you!


On June 2nd, 2011, Lori said:


On June 2nd, 2011, Jenn Sullivan said:

Wouldn’t have really paid attention to your crotch had you not mentioned it. I think it’s that your not big and so it kinda scrunched a little bit right there…
Red looks GREAT on you!
And also, if that is your backyard I am super jealous!

On June 2nd, 2011, Jessica said:

no way I’d push you out of bed. Yes, red is your color, yes, there is a slight poof in the vagina part of the suit although I only noticed b/c you pointed it out.

I’m proud of you no matter what but I know you can do this.

love love love

On June 2nd, 2011, Lori Dyan said:

Any dame who has the cajones to put a picture of herself in a bathing suit online AND use the term “puffy crotch” when describing said picture is a dame I have a LOT of time for…

On June 2nd, 2011, Cactus Petunia said:

Nice pool! (And where did you get that bathing suit?) You look hot!

On June 3rd, 2011, Laura Lee said:

You look great, D!
So brave. Wish I could rock a suit like that right now,but I have a lOOOOOOOOONg way to go.
Seriously, you look fantastic. I’m sure you will be looking even more fantastic in another six weeks.
This is good motivation. Huzzah!

Leave a Comment