PROMPTuesday #134: Bawdy Holiday Prose, Part Trois

Hi! It’s that special time of year! A happy month of merrymaking and holiday cheer. Of friends, family, and fruitcakes. Of gifts from the heart and trees from the forest. Of chestnuts and golden balls.

 

Which brings me to…

 

The third installment of Bawdy Holiday Prose.

 

As I wrote back in December 2008:

“For today’s PROMPTuesday, please compose a holiday limerick.

 

For background: As you may or may not know, and probably could care less to have knowledge of, is that a limerick is a five-line poem, often obscene in nature… In a recent Wikipedia search, I turned up this example:

 

The limerick packs laughs anatomical

In space that is quite economical,

But the good ones I’ve seen

So seldom are clean,

And the clean ones so seldom are comical.

 

Now I don’t care if your limerick is obscene, because mine probably won’t be; after all I was a virgin until the age of 22, and probably wouldn’t know obscene if it bit me in the ass, which it did.

 

But still, please imaginate your limerick and either post it in the comments or write it on your blog and leave your URL in the comments.”

 

Well that 2008 bawdy holiday prose as described above was a big hit with some hilarious submissions as you can read here. Here is one highlight from my very own The Rock:

 

‘Twas bitterly cold that xmas eve night

Rudolph’s red nose was particularly bright

Santa thought “I’ll bet that nose gets hot”

Maybe I’ll use it to warm up this spot

Down came his pants and out went the light

 

Not bad, right? So I did it again in 2009. And that time? It blew. I like to pretend there wasn’t a Bawdy Holiday Prose PROMPTuesday, Part Deux.

 

I am getting very sleepy. Veerrrryyyy sleepy. My arms are getting heavy. My fingertips are numb. So numb they were incapable of writing last year’s bawdy holiday prose prompt. It was all a figment of my overactive imagination. It didn’t exist. It didn’t exist. It didn’t ex…..

 

There. I have self-hypnotized myself into pretending 2009’s bawdiness never even lived on the page. Self-delusion is fun! You should try it sometime. I can teach you.

 

But meanwhile…

 

You got a bawdy holiday limerick?

 

Give it to me, baby.

 

Please post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.

 

First time to PROMPTuesday? Read a bit about it here. Want to see what’s been written in the past? Catch up on the PROMPTuesdays archive here.

 

6 thoughts on “PROMPTuesday #134: Bawdy Holiday Prose, Part Trois”

  1. Did you say bawdy or raunchy? I get the two confused. Here’s my submission:

    Consider the plight of St. Nick,
    Whose wife wouldn’t suck on his d****.
    She said, “Get an elf,
    or do it yourself.”
    Now that would be quite a trick!

  2. The man in the red suit

    Really had to toot…

    (I’ll be back…)

    (Coot…fruit…root…)

    (I just KNOW I can do something with those.)

    (Stay tuned.)

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