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Kitchen Sink

Well At Least My Family Loves Me

February 25th, 2010

I’m appearing on television in about a week. As is often the case with me, I am freaking the frack out. So I thought I’d “practice” being on camera so I don’t look like a weirdo dough-face on the morning news.

 

After making the below video, I am happy to report that I learned the following things to NOT do during my TV segment. They are:

 

1) Do not have your hair in your eyes.

2) Do not look sideways at the camera.

3) Do not do that thing you did during your wedding video.

4) Do not have those bags under your eyes.

5) Do not say “three-fold” when it’s really “babillion-fold.”

6) Make sure the product you are demo-ing can actually be seen by people.

7) Keep your spazzy hands to yourself.

8) Do not go on TV. Ever.

 

 

On February 25th, 2010, Stefanie said:

That is HIGHlarious.

You are going to do great. Just try and not think about all the people that will be watching at home and that if you say something really stupid there is no taking it back.

p.s. If that was helpful I charge $350.00 an hour to coach.

On February 25th, 2010, Amy said:

I love your blog, but don’t think I’ve commented before (sorry). I’m in the field, so I can give you a few tips. First, you do a lot of things RIGHT. Your voice cadence and pacing are perfect! Your facial expressions may feel odd to you, but they make you seem more natural so don’t be too self-conscious about that. You are right, you don’t want to have your hands flail about, but the occasional gesture is fine. You’re also right about the need for hairspray to keep your hair out of your eyes. My only real tips: don’t wear dangling earrings, don’t wear anything with a dramatic pattern, and powder your nose and forehead. Good luck!

On February 25th, 2010, La Jolla Mom said:

Hilarious. I hear you though. I’m also a mess on TV. You’ll be brilliant, I’m sure.

Lemme know day and time!!!

On February 25th, 2010, MissM said:

I agree with Amy about the facial expressions… You look very natural and animated but not in a creepy way AT ALL. You are beautiful and will be wonderful!

On February 25th, 2010, L.A. Stylist Mom said:

I am a coach – a wardrobe coach. Seems you have 1/2 the battle covered since you’re a)Not wearing too much crap b)Nothing loud or small patterned and c)A color that doesn’t make you look like a corpse.

Avoid:
1)Black
2)White
3)Small patterns
4)Too many accessories

Also, my nose ran so profusely from crying during my own wedding, that the minister handed me a tissue, I BLEW my nose into it, and when she went to TAKE IT BACK I said, “You don’t have to touch that.” All on DVD for posterity. A delicate flower, I am.

On February 25th, 2010, Laura Lee said:

Oh god. You are funny. Funny is good on camera, btw. Just be yourself, you have a lovely smile and great voice! Be as natural as you can be. Have a good time, too! I can’t wait to see your debut!

On February 26th, 2010, green girl in Wisconsin said:

I am laughing so hard because your issues? Are my issues. Except I blush a dark dull red while doing it. But your face is so lovely, you’ll stun them with your sweet voice and great looks.

On February 26th, 2010, Crystal said:

Yay! How cool that you are going to be on the news!! I’m not a coach of anything – but it sounds like you’ve gotten some great tips. I’m sure you’ll do GREAT!! :)

On February 26th, 2010, Theresa said:

I am crying because I am laughing SO HARD!! You are a delight and I think that you should have your own show!!! I also think that I want you to make your blog a video blog starting TODAY.

xoxoxo T

On February 26th, 2010, Mama Mary said:

Okay:
1) Jazz hands rock
2) The shoulder thing pushes your boobs out which can only be good
3) Face thing, I can’t help you with that. That one sucks. JK (I agree with Amy above, don’t need to worry too much about that one)
4) Um is like ending sentences with so… Everyone does it and I’m pretty sure it’s part of the accepted vernacular.
5) Be sure to throw in a few True Dats and For Reals
6) Be YOU! We love YOU and that is what comes through. You are real and beautiful and funny. It will be perfect.
7) Be drunk when you watch it back.
I think you already shot this today but oh well.
XOXO

On February 27th, 2010, LaJollaJennifer said:

Others have said it, but I will throw it out one more time: Just be you! You are funny. Funny wins out every time.

I recently had the opportunity to be a DJ for an hour on one of the local SD radio stations. I had worked professionally as a DJ in the past but was still nervous, it had been a long time. The most important thing I remembered to do (besides being myself as instructed by my 16 year old daughter) was breathe! Remember to breathe. Also, be prepared, after it’s all over, to dissect your performance more critically than anyone else will. That’s what we do.

Please let me know when you will be on!

On February 27th, 2010, Stephanie said:

I loves you so hard.

They tell you not to do stuff. If you’re doing things that are disruptive, you’ll start & stop so many times, you’ll learn. :)

On March 1st, 2010, MomZombie said:

I love this! Sorry, I can’t give you any advice. I run like hell when a camera is pointed at me. I do OK if I don’t know I’m on camera. When I do? Same as you, I get all twitchy and lip smacky and eye buggy. I did all that and more on my wedding video.
For what it’s worth, I think you look and sound fine.

On March 1st, 2010, Jamie said:

I reeeeeeally want the purple-headed doll. For $9.99. And? Your earrings.

On March 4th, 2010, Kelli Parisian said:

Deb, thank you for making me laugh…this is a great v-blog! They picked the perfect Mom for the Demo…the REAL Mom.

So, about the bags under the eyes thing…I can help you with that…call me!

P.S. I voted for you too!

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