February 21st, 2010
If you’ ve read this blog for any length of time, you’re no doubt aware that I’m having major hormonal issues. At the risk of boring everyone completely, I am again documenting my struggle in this space. The imbalances in my body continue and I am truly, truly at the end of my rope. For that reason, I sought out Dr. Carolle, who has agreed to work with me if I bring to light the physical and emotional challenges so many of us women experience in our late 30s and 40s. I meet with Dr. Carolle tomorrow, and recently answered the following questions she sent me in advance so she could better evaluate my situation. I’m including the questions and my response below. *(Warning: My response is raw and contains references to womanly bodily functions.)
Her questions:
1. Write down everything that has been going on with you including symptoms, diagnosis, and treatments that you have tried – Western, alternative, and otherwise.
2. Where are you right now in your life?
3. What are your expectations – your end goal in working with me?
My wordy answers in novel format:
Dear Dr. Carolle:
For as long as I can remember, I’ve been sensitive to hormonal fluctuations. Since I began menstruating, I’ve had PMS, heavy bleeding, and painful cramps. I’ve also suffered from periods of anxiety and depression, which seemed cyclical in nature. My mother had the same thing.
I learned to live with the above until about four years ago after the birth of my second daughter when I was 37. After that time, my body and mind seemed to change drastically. I suffered from depression more often (profoundly right before my period), had recurrent sinus and bladder infections, heart palpitations, sore joints, major irritability, forgetfulness, night sweats, and the sensation of “electricity” running through my system. I literally felt like I was “buzzing,” and had drunk 13 cups of coffee even though I hadn’t had caffeine. This most often happened at night.
These issues persist and are getting worse. My irritability is high, I am very moody, and my brain feels muddled and out of focus. Physically, I continue to have night sweats, and am also experiencing periods where I lose my vision (I see auras…the doctor says this is an “aural migraine,” one where I don’t experience the pain of a migraine, but only have the visual disturbances). My periods are very painful, the bleeding heavy, and the PMS severe.
I’ve also noticed that my right breast has grown larger than the other and the tissue has become more dense. For a few months, I let it go because I thought it was hormonal, but I now have an appointment with my doctor to get a mammogram. My mother died at age 56 from breast cancer (estrogen-dependent and pre-menopausal) and I am extremely scared I have the same thing.
Throughout the last four years, I’ve visited my primary physician several times. She took blood, tested me for lupus, hormonal imbalance, etc. Every test came back normal. Eventually, she prescribed me Celexa because she said I was anxious and that the symptoms were in my head. I still take Celexa. I noticed that it has helped diminish the depression I was feeling right before my period.
I’ve also visited a kinesiologist and a homeopath. The former prescribed me salt and more water…and also said I needed to have my neck adjusted. The latter prescribed me a variety of supplements, including calcium, lecithin, and herbal remedies. The homeopath told me that I had ileo cecal disease, and that my body wasn’t absorbing nutrients properly.
I feel like I’ve tried everything and have had no relief. At this point, I am frustrated, worried, and not at all myself. I have lost focus, feel burdened by kids and my husband, and just want to crawl into a hole. I feel hopeless, which is the worst feeling of all.
I want myself back. I want to enjoy my life and end the worrying and pain.
In working with you, I hope to regain balance in my life, to feel like I am in control, and to gain insight into what is happening to me.
I don’t know what else to do or where else to turn. Honestly, the situation feels desperate.
Thanks for reading,
Deb
I’ll let you know what happens tomorrow.
(19) Comments
...where you get to talk!
On February 21st, 2010, Jenn @ Juggling Life said:
I hope you get the answers you seek and need.
On February 21st, 2010, L.A. Stylist Mom said:
Pleeeaaaaase let me know what happens tomorrow! I know of what you speak…hang in there, and of course we care! xoxox
On February 21st, 2010, Sondra said:
Hey beautiful lady,
I feel for you. I, too suffered from heavy bleeding and painful periods and tried to regulate using birth control but that seemed to trigger my depression & anxiety which led to taking more prescriptions. I finally stopped taking both a few years ago.
I hope this new Dr. can help you. I’ll be waiting to hear about the process – and your progress.
Much love,
Sondra
On February 21st, 2010, Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said:
Oh hon, I hope you get your answers. There’s nothing worse than not feeling yourself.
xoxo
On February 21st, 2010, Suzette said:
Hi Deb,
I really feel for you! Turning 50 this year, and I’ve been going through ‘the change’ for the last 15 (fortunately, I now only get ‘it’ every 6 mos!) Sitting in a pool of blood at a restaurant because my tampon+pad failed was bad. But, leaving a trail of the red stuff on a car seat because there’s no feminine product out there that can hold the endless hemorrhaging was worse! Blood, sweat and tears is about right. I didn’t seek a remedy and decided to endure this hormonal assault – wish I had, though. Hang in there sweet momma! We’re in this together and lucky we can talk about it:)
On February 21st, 2010, De said:
based on her website, it seems like this doctor ought to be able to give you some answers. I sincerely hope she can. I wish there were more doctors who went to these lengths to help women. Some of us go through a lot and we do start to feel like we’re losing ourselves and our minds. Hang in there & good luck with your visit. XO
On February 21st, 2010, carma said:
How incredibly stressful…Hoping she takes all your complaints seriously and is able to put your mind at ease.
On February 21st, 2010, Blognut said:
Good luck with this new doctor – I hope she helps you find the answers and get back on track. Hang in there, Deb!
On February 21st, 2010, Mama Mary said:
XOXOX
On February 22nd, 2010, Mo said:
All I can see is that I hope this doctor helps and that you find out what you need to know.
On an unrelated note stop by this week, I need your creative prowess!
On February 22nd, 2010, Me said:
Yuck! Yuck! Yuck! and more Yuck! I wish I could give you a hug or a drug or a shopping spree at Macy’s. Something to help you out of this stuff.
I’ll be waiting intently for your post on the visit.
On February 22nd, 2010, green girl in Wisconsin said:
Good luck! I hope he gives you treatment to make it ALL better.
On February 22nd, 2010, Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said:
Thinking of you with love.
On February 22nd, 2010, Sugar Jones said:
Oh honey… I feel for you… and I FEEL for you. I’ve been experiencing so many of these same symptoms; anxiety, depression, severe menstrual cycles… I’ve been playing around with holistic solutions and, for me, it seems to be working. But I know that many of my friends have felt the same symptoms in much more extreme ways than me, so I won’t even try to tell you to drink this juice or do this exercise. I just want you to know that I love you and hope that you get the answers you are looking for.
On February 22nd, 2010, Theresa said:
Love you friend!!! Thank you for putting a voice to what many women suffer from and think that it is just their cross to carry. Seeking treatment is brave and smart. Let me know how I can help.
On February 22nd, 2010, The Girl Next Door said:
Kudos to you for seeking help and hugs to you for all you’ve been through. Makes mine lookso wimpy in comparison + I’m too pathetic to get help. You’ve given me courage!
On February 22nd, 2010, Maureen@IslandRoar said:
Oh good luck; my fingers are crossed… xo
On February 23rd, 2010, San Diego Momma » Blog Archive » Listen, Listen said:
[…] come to Dr. Carolle in a last-ditch attempt to understand what was happening to me: the anxiety, the forgetfulness, the bodily changes. I had no where else to go, that’s how it […]
On February 24th, 2010, becky/lola said:
It sucks to feel out of sorts. Truly. (I wish none of us had to know what that’s like.) I look forward to hearing more soon, about what happened when you saw her. Big hugs to you, lady.
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