February 2nd, 2010
Today before Toots’ kindergarten day began, I found out that she’d ripped the head off a toy that belonged to her friend’s sister. As the mom told it, Toots snapped the head off and laughed evilly when the little girl who owned it turned red. The story was corroborated by Alexa’s friend. Now, the mom wasn’t there and I wasn’t there, but the fact remains that the toy is broken and I had to address the incident with Toots.
I failed completely.
I confronted her in front of her friends, five minutes before class started and asked her to tell me the truth. She began to cry and told me that her friends were lying. I begged her to tell me what happened. It kills me that she might think it’s OK to lie (we’ve had other “incidents”) and I just wouldn’t have it this morning. Finally, she told me that she did it on accident and that she’d stepped on the toy. That’s as much as she would say. The toy is a doll and the only way the head could come on this particular model is if it were pulled off, so I knew she still wasn’t fessing up.
But I? Blew it again. I kept after her. All the way into class. And then I left her there upset and sad, and unresponsive to my “I still love yous.”
What the hell is wrong with me?
I left the class crying because I just don’t know how to handle my daughter and it’s making us both miserable.
I truly believe I am a horrible, horrible mother. What kind of women turns on her kid in front of so many people and accuses her of lying? Even if she were fibbing, I handled it completely inappropriately.
Now my daughter is at school thinking I hate her.
I don’t even know how I’m going to make that better.