San Diego Momma. A San Diego Mom Blogger.

About Me

I'm a mom, wife, writer and soul searcher who colors life with words.

 

Learn More

 
 

Flickr

flickrsdmsidebar
 

Kitchen Sink

PROMPTuesday #46: Humility

March 9th, 2009

humility

(Amazingly beautiful photo from Chad Pollpeter)

 

I’ve got something to tell you…and will write it here tomorrow or soon after, but the gist is humility. So in honor of humbling myself today to (please God) be better, I’m adopting the theme for this week’s PROMPTuesday.

 

Here it is:

Write a story about when you last were humbled, felt humbled by the presence of something/someone in your life, or lay prostrate at the feet of the universe and said “I don’t know what the hell I am doing. I will now surender and let you take over.”

 

Meanwhile, if you need a PROMPTuesday introduction, allow me to say that it is a wonderful way to connect with other people who love to write and those who participate are the kick assingnest. In laymen’s terms, PROMPTuesday is a once-a-week deal where I issue a creative writing prompt and hope that people take it and run. PROMPTuesday submissions appear in the comment box below the PROMPT post for all to read. It’s the most fun.

 

To read PROMPTuesdays gone by, please click here.

 

« « Bake Deliciously and Carry a Big Purse    |    Circles » »

On March 10th, 2009, g said:

I’m in, Deb. I wrote about the thing that most humbled me – up to the point I realized what I was in for.

doves2day.blogspot.com

On March 10th, 2009, She said:

Omg, Woman! Are you reading my journals? I just wrote an email yesterday that began with “With great humility, I write this!” And then I poured my heart and soul out!

On March 10th, 2009, Blognut said:

Oh Deb, you know how to cut right to the heart of me with these prompts. I can write this, but I can’t put it on my blog because it would tear up what is left of my family outside of the immediate members who already know, or went through it themselves.

I think the most humbling thing that has happened to me so far was coming to the realization that I did not have to keep fighting this thing within me. God knows I tried to push it down for years, 17 or 18 of them to be sure. Yet there were nightmares, nagging feelings, and flashbacks that would take over the driving at the oddest times. All of this past violence and sexual abuse was bleeding over into my present and preventing me from really living a life that I’ve worked so hard to have, and I dearly love. I knew what it was, I had never completely blocked it, I just refused to think about what had happened to me all those years ago. More than two whole years of my life had been reduced to only a few memories that I would allow myself to have; the rest was stuffed away in a box on the shelf in the closet of my brain. Not only did I have those two years to contend with, I had a few more years of reactive behavior that shames me to the core. I was so sure that ignoring my past and forging ahead made me stronger, only to learn that it was tearing me up on the inside and making me weaker by the moment.

When I finally realized that ignoring this thing would end me, I literally threw my hands up in the air and asked God to tell me what to do. I didn’t know if he heard me, or if he’d even be interested in helping, and I’ve always had the occasional doubt that he was there at all. I just knew that somehow, somewhere, someway, I needed to get help. I needed to integrate this part of me that I had denied for so long, and start a healing process that has been torturous at times, and yet so powerfully peaceful at other times. It’s not over, but it’s better. Sometimes the progress is difficult to measure day-by-day, but looking back one year to the person that I was when I started this journey, I can see huge changes and I know that, on most days, I have finally stopped blaming myself and placed the fault squarely where it belongs.

So, humbled? Yeah, very much so. Asking for help was the hardest thing I ever did in my life, but also one of the most worthwhile.

On March 10th, 2009, Danielle said:

I did it this week! I feel so proud of myself. It’s ironic you did this post since my last momemt of being humbled was just Sunday.

On March 10th, 2009, Mama Mary said:

Hi Deb, Come check out my humble pie story in all of its humility. Thanks for this one!

On March 10th, 2009, Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said:

Hi Deb:
I posted Dear Rihanna.
Love, Cheri

On March 11th, 2009, Crystal said:

Here it is…I admit, I edited…otherwise it would have been WAY TOO LONG.

http://butterfly80.blogspot.com/2009/03/promptuesday-45-humility.html

(and nevermind that the link says 45, when indeed this is number 46…I’m just a dork)

On March 12th, 2009, DaGoddess.com » PROMPTuesday #46 - Those Kids said:

[…] PROMPTuesday is on Thursday this week — for me, anyway. I’ve been meaning to catch up and now, well, here it is. […]

On March 12th, 2009, Da Goddess said:

Oddly enough, I wrote my entry before I saw this. It was kismet. Absolutely.

Thank you, Deb. You always know.

On March 12th, 2009, Jeanette said:

I have been reading BlogThisMom’s entries for some time and have been intrigued. I am going to start this because I think it is wonderful. I just posted on my site for today, so I will just add my entry here.
I was humbled to my core when I got a phone call two years ago, when I was pregnant with my second child, from my genetic specialist and was informed that my daughter had Down Syndrome. I contained myself long enough to keep my composure on the phone, then as soon as I hung up, I fell into a puddle on the floor and sobbed harder than I have ever cried in my entire life. I called my husband and he came home from work and we held each other and cried. Over the next 24 hours I called my mother and my best friend and cried some more. THEN sometime the next day, somehow I was alone and I distinctly remember feeling TOTALLY inadequate. I went through the Why me, but not in the sense that I was being punished, but Why was I chosen to take care of a child with DS? I was unprepared and not “qualified” (whatever that means). I sat on the floor in my entryway and for the first time EVER, I prayed outloud and told God that I didn’t understand what was going on, why it was happening, or how to “do this”. I had “Jesus Take the Wheel” stuck in my head and I told God that He had to take control, because I couldn’t do this alone. There must be some reason for this change in our lives and that I trusted that He would make a blessing out of it. I was in the dark place in understanding but instantly felt calmed and full of peace after I spoke my prayer. Fast forward to the present… my daughter is 19 months old and such an amazing blessing. God knew what he was doing and I defer the wheel to Him. I’ve learned my lesson.

On March 15th, 2009, Da Goddess said:

All of this week’s stories were absolutely wonderful. Thank you all for sharing.

On March 16th, 2009, The San Diego Hermit said:

This was a tough one for me, but I finally wrote for it on my blog.

Leave a Comment