February 11th, 2009
(The man on the right is the reason I think butts are funny.)
Toots: My name is Iliana.
Booger: My name is Iliana.
Toots: I’M Iliana.
Booger: No, I’M Iliana!
Toots: I thought of it first! You didn’t even know Iliana could be a name!
Booger: Yes, I did! Il-eeee-aaannnn-nnnna! It’s my name!
Toots: It’s my name. MY NAME! I made up that name!
Booger: No, I did, stupid butt!
Toots: You’re a dumb stupid butt that’s smelly, too!
San Diego Momma, interrupting, finally: Girls. First of all we don’t say ‘stupid.’ Second of all, we don’t say ‘butt’ unless it needs to be put on a potty. And third of all, you can BOTH be Iliana.
Toots: No we can’t! How will you tell us apart?
Grandpa, suddenly appearing to singlehandedly undo my passable parenting of the last five minutes: You’ll have different last names. You (pointing at Toots) can be Iliana Stupid Butt and your sister (pointing at Booger) will be Iliana Smelly Butt. Unless, (pausing to look at Toots) your butt is smellier than your sister’s?
Toots, sheepishly, after thinking for several long seconds and sighing heavily: I should probably be Iliana Smelly Butt.