November 5th, 2008
Those were the days.
Dear People Who Read My Blog:
In a little over two weeks from now, I will be ever-lovin’ 40. So for a moment, I’d like us all to forget the soul searching and epiphanies I’ve shared on this space and tell you: I’m freaking the frack out.
I’m sorry that I can’t be more mature about this, or enlightened enough to accept my aging with grace and dignity. Or tell you that I’m coming into my own and growing more secure with myself as I leap wheeee! into the second phase of my life. No sir. Instead I regret to inform you that I am kicking and screaming my way up those stony gray steps.
It’s not so much the physical aging, though there is that. In the last year, my back’s gone out, my joints have ached and my wrinkles have deepened. Yet I’m not so troubled by the outward signs of aging. Or upset that I’m moisturizedly challenged. It’s simply that time is running out. I’m not all I can be. Plus, I’m a slow learner, so my being isn’t being what it needs to be as quickly as I’d like it to be. I still get envious, I still doubt, I still yell at my kids, I still tell my husband he sucks when he doesn’t, I still search, I still thrash, I still get negative. And yes, I know many people do. But, I’m engaging in these activities way more than a spiritually evolving woman of 40 ever should.
Also, my book. What about my book?!
When am I going to finish my book?
OK, here I go again. Looking at the downside of turning 40. So how about this? I’ll employ the distraction method and make a few promises instead.
So, beloved people who read my blog, as my countdown to 40 begins, I’d like to celebrate by posting several giveaways, and fulfilling a dream. How’s that for staying positive? (I can do this!)
Here’s what I’m gonna do. First, throughout the next few weeks, I am going to offer the chance to win a few wonderful gifts to celebrate you, the people who offer me support, commiseration, insight, love, and friendship. You, along with my family and in-real-life friends, make me a better soon-to-be-40-year-old.
The giveaways will come from some of my favorite sites, and also include goodies for the kids. I’ll sprinkle the presents throughout my posts up until my 40th and hope many of you will enter to win. Even the people who lurk. (i.e. Who’s my one Colorado reader?) (You don’t have to tell me.) (But I sense your bemused energy from all the way over here.)
Second. I will, I will, I will, finish the first draft of my kid’s book by my birthday. That gives me 17 days to complete something I started 9 years ago. I currently have 15,000 words written (holy hell, I thought it was WAY more than that) and scribbles in at least 5 different journals. But I know where it’s going, I’ve always known, and it’s time to tell the story. I’m making this promise to you, readers of this blog, because I can’t seem to fulfill it to myself. I won’t want to let you down, and I hope this will translate into not letting myself down.
To get me started, I’m going to post a snippet of my work in progress so you can sorta see where I’m going with it. And maybe you’ll pull for me? Man, that’d be swell.
Mrs. Lokken went on, staring into the strange fire. “It’s a long, sad story,” she drew a deep breath. “And I don’t have much time. She’ll soon know you’ve been here.”
“But how?” Fear gnawed at Annie.
“She’s a witch too,” Mrs. Lokken reminded. “And she can see things. I’ve done the best I could with a shielding spell, but I am weak and unpracticed. I thought the threat was gone. But she has become strong. She was able to send me here. She’s dangerous and she wants what I have…” she paused a moment. “And what she thinks you have.”
“What do I have?” Annie’s head felt like it might explode. “What do you have?”
Mrs. Lokken pointed to the necklace Annie had put around her neck after their trip to the woods. “After we learned our destiny, my sister and I were each given a stone that held great power. Opals. We had them set in necklaces for safekeeping.” She shook her head. “There were thirteen stones – six of them had a twin. Two opals, two blue aventurine, two onyx, two amethyst, two tanzanite, and two citrine. Each of us on the Grand Council had a stone – and a twin who held the same stone. We balanced the other and nothing could be done without the consent and intention of our twin.”
Annie grasped the necklace and started to take it off.
“You must keep it,” Mrs. Lokken said. “You must balance the evil of her necklace, for each of the 12 stones takes on the intention of the wearer. She has the other one, the one she ripped from my neck before she banished me here. You are wearing my sister’s.”
Coriander recovered herself again and asked, “I thought you said there there were 13 stones.”
Mrs. Lokken chuckled. “Practical Coriander. So I did. And yes there are.” “The thirteenth stone is the red jasper.” She looked serious again. “And I need you both to find it.”
And meanwhile, I’ll be trucking along to 40.
I just now decided to make that a good thing.