I Want to Be Funny

Man! First the pre-flight anxiety and now Rebecca. The humor gods seem to be conspiring against me. So I guess I’ll give an update instead of going for the funny.


Rebecca is good. She’s taken off her ankle bandages (herself!) (in the middle of the night!) and defiantly pulled out her IVs. Her ankle swelling has gone down and her pneumonia is seemingly under control. She amazes me. So much of life is state of mind, I must remember that. She will NOT hear words like “cancer” (which the doctors want to rule out) (she’s refused tests), or “sick,” or “intervention.” She tells me so much energy and thought is directed toward sickness, and she wants to focus on “health.”

It’s apparently working for her.

I do hope so.


I’ve been at the hospital quite a lot. There is no one else to watch over Rebecca. I realize how much it is needed, even if she won’t ask for help. Today, I retrieved her glasses from the bowels of the hospital basement so she could read, cut her chicken into edible pieces, put out an APB for her missing clothes, and rubbed lotion on her legs. I also fixed the air conditioner.

No one seems to check in on her much, and I wonder about the people who have no one.

It hurts to ponder.


I spent so much of the day at the nurse’s station, and I absolutely hate to say — because I know a lot of amazing nurses — how apathetic so many of them seemed today. Rebecca’s day nurse took ownership of nothing — including the fact that all of Rebecca’s clothes are missing. Also, a social worker came in today, telling us that Rebecca can be transferred to a convalescent hospital, and after Rebecca refused to go, she left in a semi-huff. I managed to talk Rebecca into the transfer for the time being and not five minutes later, paged the social worker to have Rebecca discharged and moved. But — she never answered. And Rebecca is still in the hospital, roommates with a woman, who, while nice, has an alcoholic husband that comes into the room, starts arguments, and punches windows. When she’s not on the phone arguing with someone, her roommate is paging the nursing staff, asking for more potato chips or apple juice. Suffice to say, Rebecca wants out.


Well no, that won’t suffice. Rebecca asked me to bust her out. She wanted me to call 911, take her home, throw a fit, call the authorities. After going back and forth with the hospital staff today, and not getting anywhere in regards to a discharge (which they agree to), I told Rebecca that The Rock and I will be in her room tomorrow at 10. And if she won’t be discharged at that time, we’ll whisk her away.


And dammit, I will.


Still. You should know that I spoke to the convalescent hospital and they are ready for her, and I talked to her doctor and he said she’s good to go, and I talked to an inside source at the hospital who told me that they’ve sort of dropped the ball when it comes to releasing Rebecca.


So screw it. I’m getting her out.


Hopefully, it won’t be dramatic as all that. In fact, I’m sure it won’t. But a girl can dream, can’t she? I think a high-speed chase will be good for all of us. Get the heart pumping, right? Remember how it feels to be alive.


Finally, I’d like you to know a little bit more about Rebecca. I wrote about her in May here. Skip the first two-thirds of the post. It’s my typical insecure stuff. But towards the bottom, I get over myself and talk about someone else.


Well not about just anyone.

About Rebecca.

I wish you all could know her.


19 Responses to “I Want to Be Funny”

  1. Ferd says:

    Deb, I think I love you. (Don’t worry, it’s eLove. Don’t send The Rock to kick my ass.)
    You are so sensitive and caring. That’s the good side of your emotionality, and it’s a gift. I’m sure your friendship with Rebecca has meant as much to her as it does to you.
    I happen to be a geriatrician, so I have a particular soft spot for older people. I respect, and learn, and marvel all the time.
    Good luck with the Great Escape tomorrow!

  2. mommypie says:

    Oh Deb, I’m so sorry to hear about your Rebecca. Thank goodness she has you to be there. I’ll be thinking of you both.

  3. I love that you would bust your friend out. So? When you bust Rebecca out? You can count on me and my rusty lawyer skillz to bust you out of jail. I’m here for you.

  4. Kizz says:

    So glad to hear that she’s rallying. Hope the jail break goes well!

  5. You’re doing great. I love that you’re honoring her wishes and doing the things for her that her body won’t allow her to. You’re a strong and loyal friend. I’ll continue to pray and keep good thoughts for the situation. Go Deb! Go Rebecca!

  6. She is sure lucky to have you. I’ll be watching the local news.

  7. g says:

    thank goodness she’s got your looking out for her. Good luck with the jail break, and know that you and REbecca are both in my thoughts.

  8. robyn says:

    Obviously Rebecca has someone. I am so glad that you are taking care of her.

  9. I am so glad that Rebecca has you there to advocate for her. The hospital system is so messed up. Speaking for personal experience – I have had to advocate for my mom when she was in the hospital. I also ended up just doing the job of the nursing assistants because they slack. I am so glad that Rebecca has you in her life.

  10. myra says:

    I’m so glad she’s getting better. I know firsthand that anyone who is in the hospital needs an advocate. You have to be your own doctor, and when you’re too sick to do so, someone has to be looking out for you. Just like in any profession, you’ll find those who are dedicated to making a difference, along with the apathetic. I’m so glad you’re there for her.

  11. Jamie says:

    I know a good friend when I see one. Your heart, your compassion, your sympathy, is just, just … aweswome.

    She’s so lucky to have you. Still praying for her.

  12. Good luck with the break out. She’s lucky to have a strong friend like you advocating for her. Please tell her she has friends she’s never met rooting for her!

  13. She’s lucky to have you. Head for the border!

  14. tinsenpup says:

    Most of us just seem to go through life acquiescing, not making trouble, being nice and all that, but geez, sometimes you’ve just got to stand the hell up, don’t you? Especially when it’s for someone who deserves a lot better.

  15. Green Girl says:

    Lucky her to have you ready and willing to drive the getaway car!

  16. we_be_toys says:

    Oh honey, what a mess! You are such a good person, taking on this headache for her. It doesn’t sound like she’s in a really great situation, but I hope for your sake you don’t have to bust her out- it could be another headache on top of the one already.

  17. Lisa Milton says:

    Nothing better than a feisty advocate when you are sick and in the hospital.

    (Even the best medical care can be ridden with errors or just things falling through the cracks.)

  18. Da Goddess says:

    You rock! And damn the mean nurses. Seriously, WTF? Just because they might be busy doesn’t mean that someone should be “forgotten” or left to wonder what will happen next.

    If I were there, I’d kick some ass.

  19. […] other loose ends updates, Rebecca is now in a convalescent hospital. I’m going to write more about that tomorrow. I’d […]

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