The thing about burning your face off is…….that you’ve burned your face off. So, you’re not as likely to go in public and show your melting nose and chin to the neighborhood. (Although I WILL say around these SoCal parts, I’ve seen much worse.) As such, I stayed in my house all weekend, wearing old exercise pants and a skin-flaked fleece sweatshirt. (I’d show you pictures, but I’m still getting over the fact that I posted my fake boob job here, a Flickr photo that received well over 100 views, while my kid photos languish in the little-visited 2-view land.)


So on the homefront this weekend, things stayed pretty normal, with Toots saying trademark Tootisms like, “I’m a warrior.” And with me saying, “Why?” And with her replying, “Because I smell like one.” And with Booger scooting her shopping cart/baby buggy/carrier of all her earthly possessions around the kitchen floor for hours, quietly I might add, as Toots bounced around from thing to thing, finally settling on making a science experiment (Oh! And Mommy! Listen to this: I’m going to take a rock from the garden, smush it up, add water, suck it into the turkey baster and put the mixture into a verrrrry small egg.“)


Now normally, I’d work out of the house on Saturday morning, while The Rock watches the girls. Then, I’d come home, clean a bit, cobble together some kind of meal and collapse while the kids scurry to and fro. Later, if I’m lucky, it’s Date Night. On Sunday, The Rock might get a workout in, or we share a communal breakfast, and afterward, we’ll do some family time, like a Costco trip or jumping up and down on The Rock’s head as he tries to watch sports on TV. Often, we’ll throw a walk or friends or a park in there somewhere.


THIS weekend like I said, I lolled about inside. I still worked, but I did it unshowered and at the kitchen table (where I am now). The Rock took the kids to the Natural History Museum and I sipped my own decidely non-Starbucksy coffee, wrote stuff, edited things, swept skin crusts off my keyboard and just sat here. Oh! And also I ate tamales misted with charred skin bits, which have a tendency to drift onto my tongue or whatever it is I’m eating at the time.


On Sunday, The Rock got a few things done (Chargers, Chargers, Chargers) and I made paper bag puppets with the girls and watched back-to-back reality shows (Top Design and that salon makeover show with the squinty-eyed, blonde dominatrix) and almost become a psychologist online in just 3 hours. Also! I read a catalog ALL THE WAY THROUGH. Like, from page 1 to page 36. ALL OF IT. EVERY PAGE WITHOUT INTERRUPTION.

(I checked. Hell’s thermometer still read 1,000 million degrees.)


I’d forgotten what it’s like to just stop for a minute. Usually, the kids don’t cooperate and that’s OK. They’ve got baby buggys to push and little eggs to impregnate with rock mush. But this weekend, I don’t know. Maybe they felt sorry for my face? Either way, I did slow down and it made a bunch of difference.


I highly recommend the taking it easy thing.

Sometimes a catalog, a little Bravo TV and a teeennny egg are just what the doctor ordered.


Don’t wait until your face burns off either.


What’d you do this weekend?


25 Responses to “Weekending”

  1. I visited my grandmother. It was wonderful.

    Please don’t regret the fake boob pictures. They were…nice. ;) Anxious to see your pretty mug!

  2. we_be_toys says:

    Sometimes doing as little as possible is just what the doctor ordered, though I’m disappointed – I mean, come on – only three hours and you could have been a psychologist, and you passed on that?

    I’m dying to hear how the egg impregnation works out – what was the object again? (your kids sound like my kids – right down to jumping on Daddy’s head while he tries to watch football)

    As for my weekend? I threw a last minute dinner party on Saturday and then ran away on Sunday for sushi with the girls. It was good. Monday, however, kind of sucks.

  3. Lisa Milton says:

    We played outside because the sun! It is out! And there was a whole lot of swimming mixed in for good measure before the dreaded ‘but why do we have to come in’ and ‘school is DUMB’ whining.

    But it was a good weekend.

  4. ilinap says:

    I too chilled out…at the beach for a girls’ weekend. Lots of beer, trashy magazines, crab dip galore, milkshakes, more beer, margaritas, and dancing. Oh, and the best part? Being hit on by 20-somethings. I guess I don’t look 40 in a dark, crowded club. Well, 39 and 363 days to be specific.

  5. I read some emails and found out that there apparently is a way for me to “pump her all night long,” someone someplace has a link to a “Carla Bruni Sex Film Shocker at Windsor Castle,” and that John McCain ate a bug.

  6. I watched the two state universities battle it out on the football field (by proxy, so my son could see it), laundry, sat down in my Narcolepsy Chair to read and took an immediate one-hour nap, and did some writing. Nothing too exciting, but comforting nonetheless!

  7. San Diego Momma says:

    Chris: I love that you visited your g-ma! And thanks for the boob compliment,

    We Be: Your weekend sounds like a weekend I’d like to have one of these days. And the egg impregnation had no purpose, no objective, no hypothesis. The idea just came out of her mouth, like the best of her ideas do.

    Lisa: Swimming in the sun! There is totally nothing better.

    Ilinap: Why don’t you live closer to me?

    Cheri: John McCain ate a bug?????? Did it happen while he was pumping Carla Bruni all night long at Windsor Castle?

  8. Da Goddess says:

    Unwinding…so good, so sweet, so rare.

    As for Toots and her lovely warrior, rock making, and general Toots-y-ness, can I just say I want to be like her when I grow up? That kid kills me.

    By the way, I feel your Flickr pain. I labor over my photos and get diddly. Maybe if I squatted I’d get more. I dunno.

    Heal better, Deb!

  9. vodkamom says:

    well, I wanted to lounge around,but then I went and offended someone and spent the weekend eating crow, begging forgiveness and feeling like shit.

    But, at least I had my face….

  10. It sounds just wonderful. I think people that live in places with worse weather get this a little more often than we do. It’s hard to stay inside when it’s gorgeous outside.

  11. Mrs. G. says:

    I love those laid back weekends. I’m due for one very soon.

  12. tinsenpup says:

    I’m just wondering and I have to ask, since I might never have another opportunity, do those skin flakes taste like char-grilled chicken?

  13. Shelia says:

    You so don’t want to know what I did this weekend. I’m serious.

  14. Steph says:

    See, I was all good until the eating of the skin flakes. Then I kind of threw up in my mouth a little. Then I wondered how skin flakes tasted. Then I threw up a little more.

  15. Green Girl says:

    Well, getting rained in helps a person avoid those problems…

  16. MommyTime says:

    You weekend sounds as relaxing as mine (at the beach in the rain), which involved a lot of eating and sleeping and reading stories in a lovely cottage while it rained incessantly on the skylights. Except for the burned-off face part. I didn’t have that. I hope it doesn’t hurt. (And those implants are dee-vine, dahhling!)

  17. Mamasphere says:

    Ahh, that sounds like a great way to spend the weekend. My four year old is still too demanding to leave alone long enough to read a magazine. And, um, too destructive. The things she gets herself into if we’re not constantly watching!

    I did end up at Costco by myself (the first time in years) and THAT was lovely. The rest of the weekend was spent cleaning and cooking, and we went to a birthday party that had some AWESOME food.

    Yes, though busy, that was a weekend I’d agree to do again.

  18. I did a whole bunch of nothing except my face wasn’t burned off. We bbq’d and hung out. I didn’t even get on the computer much. It was like a two day sloth vacation.

  19. somehow i missed this post until now. and i’m upset about that, because it’s filled with awesomeness.

    saturday, i played soccer, only having to drag one kid along with me. sunday, i watched the NFL and cleaned the f-ing house from top to bottom and did about 87 f-ing loads of laundry. the good thing? it’s wednesday. which means that it’s almost time for another weekend full of soccer and laundry…

  20. Lori says:

    Just saw your pics, I think it looks great already! The face, I mean, the face!

    I agree though. I tend to make Sunday our do nothing day. Just nothing. No running around, no cleaning, just nothing. Sometimes we watch a movie or go in the pool and just veg out. I think we all need it.

  21. My weekend was sort of uneventful. Husband was away for the week at the Reserves. I’m anxiously awaiting the post-flaking pictures!

  22. Jilllian says:

    The dominatrix blonde (Tabitha Coffey) from salon takeover was on our plane last night! We were on our way back from Maui and she got on our connecting flight from LA to NYC. AND, she was crying in her seat and seemed very upset, guess she isn’t so tough. But then again I know how she feels, upon takeoff I was sobbing like a baby. Ask Mark, I’m not the best at flying either.

  23. A catalog from start to finish….. that sounds positively divine. I’m glad you were able to take that time.

    I hacked up a lung, but I’m hoping to make up for the suckiness of last weekend with lots of catalog reading and wine drinking this weekend. Hey, I can dream, right?

  24. Again another entertaining post. It sounds like you had a great weekend. I wish I could be lazy someday. Our weekends are always filled with chores, errands, kids’ stuff, family stuff, etc. This weekend we are going to my nephew’s birthday party. Maybe someday I can have a relaxing lazy day like you. Maybe read a catalog from cover to cover. That sounds like fun!

    Your Northern Cal friend,

  25. […] The one where I burned my face off. […]

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