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Carry On

September 7th, 2008

My apologies. I’ve been out to lunch. I haven’t commented, twitted, read, socialized, met up, schemeezled or schemozled for days going on days. Can I just say? So. Much. Work. My fingers have been glued to this keyboard — and not in the good way — for weeks now.

 

Thanks for still coming by even though I suck donkey eggs. Thanks for not holding my incommunicadoness against me. I’ll be back in action soon. But meanwhile, I thought I’d post a pictoral serial that might make you laugh. Although first. In case you’re wondering about my work state of mind recently, you’ve got good reason to…check out this picture Toots drew of me last week:

 

How Toots Sees Me

 

I like how it’s anatomically correct and how she nailed my nasolabial lines. Or are those whiskers? I’ll have to obsess about that later. Also, looks like I let my antenae grow too long. *Sigh* I do like to go bohemian sometimes, but that’s just ridiculous.

 

Anyway, I have been kind of pain in the ass-ish lately. But that’s nothing new. I have it on good authority I always have been a bit high maintenance. And here’s my proof: my childhood diary.

 

Let me set the stage. Here I am close to the age when I wrote the stuff you’re about to read:

 

1978

 

Shhh. Don’t say anything. Just let that gentle breeze of geekitude sweep over you like a warm lame wave. That’s right, just relax. Are you thirsty? Take a sip of coke from my glasses. There, there. All better?

 

Anyway. I thought I’d start by posting one of my diary entries from 1980. Note how well-adjusted and mentally balanced I am. Also, my compassion and grace are virtues to behold.

 

Darn That Dana!

 

Can you read it? Here, let me. It says:

 

Dear Diary,

 

Today is my brother’s first communion. Now I’m positive my parents love him more. The only guests I had was my best friend and Aunt Shirley and Uncle Bob. He has A.S., U.B., Aschers, Litzes, Cunninghams. And two cakes — big cakes. It’s his party and he’s outside playing and I’m inside doing all the work. U.B. gave me a pat on the back & said. “Cheer up.” And my mom and dad said I’m not helpful & things like that.

Love,

Debbie

 

Now that I recall, my first communion party didn’t suck all that bad. Here I am suckling fried chicken and fondling a $5 bill. Not so terrible. But I didn’t have two cakes. Or the Aschers, Litzes or Cunninghams. No wonder I’m a desiccated carcass of emotion.

 

First Communion

 

Then there’s this:

 

DiaryVDay

 

This gem of unedited and misspelled class and kindness says:

 

Today is Valentine’s Day (That’s part of the reason why I used red.)

I got a few valentines from some girls. But one from a boy, can you guess who? Your guess was probaly right. Robert Cunningham!! He likes me, but I don’t like him — believe me. He is ugly — Black hair (messy.) Ugly smile when he takes or when he is on pictures. Here is his picture (Don’t think I wanted it, it was in my yearbook.)

(con.)

 

DiaryVDayPt2

 

…His valentine to me was a big bag of cream hearts and valentine things. And a valentine that was written like this

 

“Dear Debbie

Valentines Day is here. I’ve been thinking about you alot. You are a nice girl. The Love Bug has bitten me. I’m really serious.

xoxo,

Robert Cunningham”

 

(More later. I have to do something.)

10 min. Okay, I’m back. “Hi.”

Now back to pleasanter things — John Pickett. I’m pretty sure he likes me because he always talks to me. He’s so cute —
i can’t stand it!!

Ohhhh! Theresa — is another good friend of mine besides Lori, Lori doesn’t like her because she thinks Theresa is taking me away. Today during second period at school, Lori and Theresa made up but I still think that they don’t like each other. Here is a picture of both (they are 5th grade pictures so they don’t look exactly like that now.)

 

I don’t think there’s a note I can end this post on that would redeem me. So just thanks again for stopping by. See you again real soon?

 

Nah, didn’t think so.

 

On September 7th, 2008, vodkamom said:

Number one – i’ve been checking on you, and looking forward to a post.
number two- that is some fucking good shit. I LOVE that you have your diary, and I LOVE the pics.

you’re the bomb. (Is it okay to still say that? )

On September 7th, 2008, foradifferentkindofgirl said:

Aside from their hair, Lori and Theresa almost look alike! And a boy like John, so in touch with his feelings at a young age, and willing to express them!? Amazing! We’d all go nuts for a man like that now! Also, I’d go nuts for a man who brought me cream hearts. I admit it. I’m weak!

Glad to see you peek in when you can. This post made me smile.

On September 7th, 2008, Restless Housewife said:

re: the last 2 letters – is that from the last episode of “The Hills”?

re: the 1st letter – awwww!

re: your absence – I didn’t even know about it since I suck bigger donkey eggs and have been MIA for months it seems – o.k. – weeks

re: the drawing – I literally laughed out loud

hilARious you are

On September 7th, 2008, LarryG said:

really, you wanna like football?
ask for a ball for christmas :)
seriously, try carrying one around for awhile – then you’ll know

I haven’t written your tuesday prompt lately– hope to see you soon

On September 7th, 2008, Marketing Mama said:

I am totally jealous that you still have your diaries from that age. I think I burned mine or something. Or my little sister stole them. Secondly, I love that you put pictures in them. Third, I love that you scanned them and shared them with the entire world. :)

On September 7th, 2008, Lisa Milton said:

I love those loopy letters.

*sigh*

Hope you & your antennas have a great night.

On September 7th, 2008, Green Girl said:

Charming! I love that you still have that old diary! And wrote in such loopy cursive in red ink, too.

On September 7th, 2008, Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said:

Donkeys lay eggs?

On September 7th, 2008, Vered - MomGrind said:

That was seriously funny.

You were kinda cute back then. :)

On September 7th, 2008, Jenn @ Juggling Life said:

When I had that haircut and those glasses? I had braces too!

On September 8th, 2008, tinsenpup said:

…And that’s pretty much why I destroyed all of my childhood diaries a few years ago. I was angst-ridden and self-obsessed from an impressively young age. Blogging? No, no, that’s completely different. Completely. Different. :)

On September 8th, 2008, Karen said:

Donkeys lay EGGS? How is it that I never knew this?

On one hand, I wish I had all that sort of stuff. On the other hand, I’m happy to forget! Oh and those coke bottle glasses? Yeah. I had them too.

On September 8th, 2008, Lori said:

Oh lord, that was HILARIOUS! I didn’t keep any of my diaries, but I do have a scrapbook that I started. And I wrote a foreward for all the readers (double geeky). I’ll have to scan it. How embarassing!

On September 8th, 2008, Cactus Petunia said:

That was too much! But why no photo of John Pickett? Was he as cute as Robert Cunningham? We’re all dying to know.

I’m having a giveaway at Buenos Burritos this week you might be interested in…check it out!

http://www.buenosburritos.blogspot .com

See ya later, alligator!

On September 8th, 2008, matteroffactmommy said:

mmmm… burritos…
seriously, this is some priceless stuff right here. as i’ve said previously, we are so completely opposite! i never cared about writing in a diary. i think i was too self-conscious to do so. like, what if someone got a hold of what i had written about them? it was probably at that point exactly that i decided to just stay away from friendships altogether.

On September 8th, 2008, bejewell said:

Dude! What happened with John Pickett? You Can. Not. leave me hangin’ like that!

On September 8th, 2008, Da Goddess said:

Hah! I mentioned burritos today, too. Must be something in the air. Hey, what’s that smell? Oh never mind.

Love the diary entries. And LOVE the drawing! Looks oddly like me. Scary how Toots can take one drawing and have it look like two people who are so very different (you tall and thin, me short and fat).

By the way, I have the most perfect book for Toots! I’m totally emailing you with the details. It’s so good, it could have been written by the two of you.

On September 8th, 2008, Melody from ~Pennies In My Pocket~ said:

OMG – I recently found my diary from childhood and I am just laughing because I had almost the same entries. Oh man how it is SOOO strange reading them as an adult. It’s like you can look back on them and go, ‘you were so dramatic’ but then at the same time you feel those feelings again. I guess it’s because even though I’m in my 30s now, I’m still the same person. Strange.

Love this entry!

~melody~

On September 8th, 2008, kate said:

dear debbie,

i totally dig you, from your fried chicken smeared lips to your red ink-stained fingers to your smudged glasses. totally. dig. you. i’ve been thinking about you a lot lately, and i hope you’ll be my valentine.

xoxo

love,

katydidnot

On September 9th, 2008, manager mom said:

We all have our busy spells and spurts. No need to apologize, or flagellate yourself for sucking a particular kind of egg that I didn’t even know existed!

On September 9th, 2008, foolery said:

You just gave me diabetes.

As Jenn said above, I had a similar look when I wore braces. I WAS 19-21. Yeah, THAT popular.

So, any pictures of Mr. Cunningham? Is he a top fashion model now? ‘Cause man, I see where those dark good looks and sharp cheekbones are going.

I am now crushing BAD on an imaginary 39-year-old.

And I need a cookie. Crap. It just gets worse and worse.

On September 12th, 2008, Mary said:

Oh, this is classic. I love that the pictures are still taped inside. LOL!!!

On July 8th, 2011, San Diego Momma » Blog Archive » Dear Diary… said:

[…] You might also want to check out this gem. […]

On July 8th, 2011, Alexandra said:

Oh, man..

the fried chicken finger lickin with the fiver.

A GEM.

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