Haunted Love

In just a few short hours, I’ll be watching my great loves, the BoDeans. And all I got to say about that is: I hope they don’t remember me. In years past, I’ve called their hotel rooms countless times, waited for them by the backstage door, stalked their band limo, infiltrated their dressing room trailer, and done all manner of corrupt and amoral things in a bid for their attention. (Not that.)


I haven’t seen them live since 1998, and it’s just as well. When I discovered them at Milwaukee’s SummerFest 10 years prior, I’d quickly and robustly decided their music paired perfectly with my college’s official beverage — a can of Pabst Blue Ribbon. Soon, I’d fallen in love with one of their lead singers and subsequently followed the band everywhere, an easy feat since they were from Wisconsin and hey! I lived in Wisconsin. So I showed up in their hometown bars, visited church basement concerts, hung out where I thought they hung out, and it was just sad. (But sexy, right?)


Time passed, I moved to Chicago, and continued to show up at every BoDeans concert in the greater tri-state area. The band routinely played the Chicago Theater every third week in November and since my birthday often fell on the day they played, you can just imagine the lame hell that broke loose. Each time, my best friend and I somehow worked our way up to the first row in the concert hall, as I screamed “I LOVE YOU KURT!!!!” *just* managing to narrowly escape an ugly death by trampling. Then, sweaty and bedraggled, we both would make our way to whichever exit we could monitor for their departure. And a handful of times, they hung out with us.


One time on my birthday, we actually made it into their limo. Of course, Kurt was absent, as he was on all these excursions, but my friend Lisa and I drove back to the band’s hotel with Sammy, another lead singer, and Bob, the bassist. We hung out in their respective hotel rooms, pretty much just sat there, then went home. Rock ‘n roll what?


This type of behavior persisted November after November. And I absolutely promise you that if you listen to a BoDeans live album, you will hear a faint but fervent, “I LOVE YOU KURT!!!!” in the background. But now, I just can’t get it up anymore. I’m older, as are they. In a recent picture of the band, I barely recognized them (let’s hope that goes both ways), and I wonder if I can recapture some of that old fire; if it’s even physically possible. Can I still enjoy the band live without the Pabst? Will a glass of Merlot kill the whole vibe?


I suppose I’ll find out. But I’m going to wear my good tear-away underwear just in case.


21 Responses to “Haunted Love”

  1. Tear-away underwear, but no that? Hmmmmm.
    Have fun!

  2. Steph says:

    I need more details about the corrupt and amoral stuff. No, really. I NEED them for your unauthorized biography I’m writing for when you get to be Ms. Famous Writer Chick.

    So, spill already.

  3. Karen says:

    Do they sell tear-away underwear at Walmart?

  4. vodkamom says:

    WOW! I hope you have a great time, get to lose yourself in the moment, and live, live, live.

    you go girl.

  5. I hope it is fantastic, and that you get swept away, at least a little bit!

  6. Green Girl says:

    You are a SERIOUS groupie! Oh my! I am in awe of you!!!

  7. As I read this, the event has passed. I hope you’re resting with a smile on your face…

  8. I say WEAR the merlot and get EDIBLE undies. They can’t resist THAT!

    Have fun!

  9. being a superfan of a (different) band myself, i completely understand everything. except, there was a time in my life where i would have been… uhh, known… to, uh, do “THAT”. not anymore thought. because the dudes in my band are old too. and i’m married. with kids.

  10. A roommate and I once followed the Who’s bus all the way from San Diego to Los Angeles. When we arrived at the hotel they would be staying at, they refused to get off the bus until we left. I thought THAT was pretty groupie, but you’ve definitely got me beat.

  11. It was just the two of us. How intimidating could we have been. . . ?

  12. I can’t belive I found someone else who loves them too.

    I just saw them this summer at Summerfest for like the millionth time. They do look different (old) but they still put on a good show. Standing in the crowd, drinking beer (it is Summerfest after all), listening to the music I was 21 again.

    Have fun and tell Kurt I said hi.

  13. chris says:

    I don’t know if this somewhat related to what you are talking about here but I was just explaining to my eldest son that our taste and take on music changes with our age.

  14. This was very funny. I have a similar story, but the band never became quite as popular as the BoDeans. Hope you had lots of fun and kept your dignity.

  15. tinsenpup says:

    ‘Good Things’ still gives me that feeling you get in your stomach when you hear a perfect song. I wish I was there. Go wild!

  16. vodkamom says:

    stop on over, I left ya a little something…

  17. You are a woman with a past! It’s like that Goldie Hawn/Susan Sarandon movie!

  18. Jennifer H says:

    Well, now I have to check out their music. You’re funny. I loved this post.

  19. bejewell says:

    “Good tearaway underwear” is an oxymoron. You know that, right?

  20. Okay, this far outweighs my Fountains of Wayne mania. *whew* But did you know? I have also loved BoDeans since college! (But clearly not to the same degree). It’s only been a couple of years since I finally gave up my cassette & got the CD; now they’re on my iPod.

    I’ll get hold of a live album and listen for you…:D

  21. Da Goddess says:

    You definitely need the Pabst. Merlot would be like totally killing the dream.

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