Figaro! Figaro!

Today is Opera Day for San Diego Momma.

I do not know why. But it came to me in a dream and I don’t like to mess with my higher consciousness.



(***tuning up****) la la la la la la la***** ****do re mi fa so la ti do***** ***tru tru tru*****


Nah. Forget it.


Now watch. A man in a bull hat hat is going to fall from the sky. My dream may be portentous and now that I’m ignoring it, all kinds of operatic hell could break loose.


Is anyone following this? I’m sorry. I know better than to write after four plates of beans. Still, I lumber on.


As you may or may not know, yesterday marked the first annual BitchHer 2008, which in case you wonder, is an ironic moniker. But I never use irony correctly, so take that for what it’s worth. (Damn Mel and those beans! I’m so fixated on the resultant gas that nothing in my world is making sense.)


How about this? I’ll stop talking and you can just see the BitchHer pictures? Sound like a deal we can all live with? That’d be good, because then I can stop using words like “portentous” and “moniker.” I have days when my vocabulary bloats, and it’s better for us all if I zip it.


Hey! Bloated Vocabulary Day! Better than Opera Day, am I right? I hope I dream about it.


Right. Here are the pictures:


The Gals


OK, I think I can manage through this part without saying something nonsensical and bean-fueled. Standing from the left are: my future mom mentor, Jenn at Juggling Life, Me (who, please note, is standing in front of a BLUE pool, and is wearing a BLUE dress, which may or not explain the 85-mile-wide ass), my future style mentor, Trish at This is Trish’s Blog, my future humor mentor, Cheri, our hostess and the brilliance behind Blog This Mom, my future dance mentor, Sam from Little Dragon Fruit, and my future perfect ponytail mentor, Kate from Katydidnot.

Sitting are my future bean cuisine mentor, Mel from Mel, A Dramatic Mommy, and my future novelist-in-the-making mentor, Aaryn from Thematically Fickle.

And who we missed: The Hawaii-bound Jamie from Choosing My Own. My future always-looking-cute mentor.


In the poolapalooza are: the kids.




Mine is the one with the soon-to-be frosting all over her face. Also the one who shouts inappropriately in the middle of quiet conversations. My other one is sitting quietly (out of the shot) on the edge of the pool. She does quiet stuff like that. The ying and the yang. I’m telling you: a bit of both came out of my vagina.


Now I’ve got it! Not Opera Day nor Bloated Vocab Day! No! It’s Inappropriate Crazy Day! Hmmm… Yes. YES. I like it. It’s got a ring to it. And more syllables than the other days, and THAT in my book, make it a clear winner. I am nothing if not syllable-friendly.




(The above word completely blew my syllabic claim clear out of the water.)


Posting more pictures might clear the awkward silence. So:


Musical Fruit


Those pesky beans again! Wow, persistent much? They just keep popping up. Or out?


Segueing to:


Dynamic Duo


I hope this photo of Toots and Ruby makes things right between us. Because one of us clearly is not right, but I’m not saying who.


p.s. I’m betting more intelligible, non-operatic-alluding, bean-absent recaps will be forthcoming from the other girls.


p.p.s. We also got swag! Look!


Swag Bag


This is how I know I’ve happened upon some kindred souls. The swag bag contained journals, and beautiful cards, and books, and book marks, and much more, including but not limited to, personal lubricant.


p.p.p.s. And while I frolicked in the sun with the BitchHers, I thought often of MommyPie and her merry band of BlogHerNots. Because while Bossy and her road trip brought us San Diego bloggers together, MommyPie’s done the same for the entire Blogoverse.


p.p.p.p.s. I also thought you should know that last night at about 11PM, on Opera Day Eve, I ate an entire bowl of pasta with cheesy sauce, in honor of Italy, opera’s birthplace.

You should see what I do to celebrate Inappropriate Crazy Day!


21 Responses to “Figaro! Figaro!”

  1. Steph says:

    I am so, so, so jealous. So jealous. Mostly about the beans.

  2. I had the idea to include Beano in the swag bags, but of course, not until I was at the party. Next time. I’m just glad my recipe tweaking was such a hit. And your ass is no where near 85 miles wide!

  3. myra says:

    I was about to type EXACTLY what Steph said. Seriously need that bean recipe. (And I saw the pool behind you.)

  4. Smart thinking positioning your ass next to my ass–even with the pool in the background expanding your visual (though not actual) ass–you’d have to look positively svelte in comparison.

    Not that they’re not both cute (they sure are), but I’m passionately in love with the little one. When I was leaving I asked her, “Do you give kisses bye?” She does. Sigh. Can I start looking for rentals for you?!

  5. pajama momma says:

    (***tuning up****) la la la la la la la***** ****do re mi fa so la ti do***** ***tru tru tru*****

    Wow, when I hear you sing, visions of The Phantom of the Opera pop into my head. Such sweet, sweet melodies.

    Oh and um, well……….

    Me (who, please note, is standing in front of a BLUE pool, and is wearing a BLUE dress, which may or not explain the 85-mile-wide ass

    bwaha hahaha hahahahaha

  6. Temple Stark says:

    Wow, that was everywhere all at once.

    And is that a before or, um, after shot of the beans?

    Fun ride in any case and ya, that’s definitely pool.

  7. Oh yummy beans! Mmmmm…with bacon? No. Don’t tell me.

    Great pics and swag!!

  8. This post has the words opera, bitch, beans, booger and vagina. I wonder what kind of Google searchers those keywords will bring over. Yeah-huh.

  9. bejewell says:

    Beyond jealous. I want to be a Bitch too!

    I’m warning you, my parents live in San Diego. We come out at least once a year with the Bean. Next time I am stalking you ALL.

  10. mommypie says:

    You are obsessed with farts. I LIKE that about you.

    Would you like me to render your dream as a crazy movie so you can alienate your readers? It’s no problem. I have practice …

    The pic of Toots and Ruby DID make it all better.

  11. That is one hell of an intense recap. Somehow, I missed Mel’s beans…maybe because I was busy trying to make sure my child didn’t drown in that fabulous pool?

    Love the photos. Loved how our girls were lovin’ up on each other. I doubt I’ll have time to recap before I leave but I will certainly try.

  12. Da Goddess says:

    What fun! While I wish I could have been there, I did end up having big fun where I was. I even danced! Yep. I did, I did. With a guy who looked like a young Muddy Waters.

    With any luck, I will have a space in my schedule next time. I hate missing out as y’all are having way too much merriment without me.

  13. ok, NOW I AM jealous! Pool, food, swag and all those wonderful ladies in One place. How much fun!

  14. Auds says:

    OK now THIS is something I can be envious of. What more is there to want than beans, swag, and awesome friends.

    Oh well, I’ll have my fond memories of BlogHerNot ’08 along with the ever persistent glitter, which I’m still finding in places that one shouldn’t really find glitter!

  15. San Diego Momma says:

    Steph: Those WERE some beans. Maybe Mel will dry ice ship some to you.

    Mel: Beano just doesn’t seem swagalicious. Still, it would’ve been useful.

    Myra: Thanks for noticing the pool!

    Jenn: YES!

    PJ Momma: Sweet, sweet, wha–? OH. The melodies.

    Temple: As I was eating beans all day. I’d say that pic was taken “during…”

    Toots: No bacon. Just beans, beans, BEANS!

    Cheri: I think (with the exception of opera), that Google will now bring many 14-year-old boys to my site.

    Bejewel: Bring IT!

    MommyPie: I soon may need a fart intervention. And thx for the movie offer. I *think* so far I’m doing well on the reader alienation front…

    Thematically: I also loved the lovin’ going on b/w the kids! And at least one of us was ensuring our kid didn’t drown. (Have a great trip)

    Da G: You better join us next time.

    Deb: Would love to meet all the BlogHerNots in a similar setting!

    Auds: Are you still peeing out glitter?

  16. Jamie says:

    Good grief. Could that group be any dang more fabulous? I’m so sad to have missed on all the bitchiness. Now if you’ll excuse me, there’s sand in my nether regions.

  17. Green Girl says:

    How totally cool are all of you??? That looks like the BEST time. I confess I’m a little green with envy.

  18. Amyesq says:

    Oh my God. A San Diego momma bitches-with-blogs group? Where do I sign up? You guys look like you had a wonderful time.

  19. Sam says:

    Love the photos! Those were some amazing beans. I suffered no ill effects from them. :)

    It was great to meet you!

  20. Trish says:

    What a recap! It sure was a swell time. It took me a few days to recover from the beans too but here I am back and ready to do it all over again. Bitches will meet soon in OB I hear?

    ps. Your girls look like little movie stars uh huh!

    NICE music CD by the way! We have already listened to it about 10 times in the car!

  21. […] Oh, and there’s more. But really, I’ve got to get on that Burger King thing. So I’ll leave you with this: Auds at Barking Mad (so, so funny and just plain good), Deb at Hoping for Grace (raw, real, wonderful), and all of my San Diego cronies. […]

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