The Five Stages of Blogging

Please note that the below represents my perspective and is not reflective of any well-adjusted, unmedicated bloggers out there.

 

I call this piece, The Arc of a Blogger

 

Stage 1: Denial

Examples – “I can live perfectly well without my blog.

It has not consumed my life.

I do not live each day wondering, If I blog it, will they come?

My children ARE adjusting to artificial light and prison-issue food.”

 

Stage 2: Anger

Example – “WHAT?? My ‘If Celebrity Baby Names Were Butt Synonyms‘ post ruled! Come on! Hiney Pitt?

What’s wrong with you people?

No comments? Come ON!”

 

Stage 3: Bargaining

Example – “OK, God. Here’s the deal: if you make me brilliant with a side of gentle sarcasm for one day, AND use your Divine Grace to inspire a relatable and beautifully-written post, I will help You cloth the naked and feed the poor. And *possibly* become an instrument of your peace.

 

Stage 4: Depression

Examples – “Forget it. Why bother?

What’s the point? I’m closing this thing down.

No one likes me. Why don’t they like me?

Was it the Tushy Lopez?”

 

Stage 5: Acceptance

Example – “I’ll just be me. Little ole San Diego “Hiney Pitt” Mommason.

But with more meds, and less butt talk.

 

UPDATED: I planned, I really did, to have a new BlogHerNot post up here by now. BUT, la vida loca, and a snot-soaked two-year-old got in the way. So just ignore me, and head over to Mommy Pie’s, where she’s hosting the most fantab group of bloggers for BlogHerNot 2008. Seriously, there’s a whole lot of great links over there. Not to mention Mommy Pie herself. And? We’re all very happy for those who are at BlogHer. I’m pretty confident in saying we all wish we were there with you. Have fun!

 

 

bloghernotbanner1.jpg

 

38 thoughts on “The Five Stages of Blogging”

  1. Is there a stage for obsessively checking the sitemeter you lovingly installed and sending a stern e-mail to the company when hits you KNOW you’ve had don’t appear for 12 hours even though you don’t even have ads on your site?

  2. Sorry, Kizz. I uh, *cough, cough, sputter, sputter* would not know anything about that.

    Jenn: It probably means that you’re one of the less medicated, more adjusted bloggers.

  3. Um. If I’m unmedicated does that mean I’m not well adjusted? I might be able to live with that. But, just tell me. How long did it take your family to adjust to the prison food? My husband is fine, since it’s the same crap he’s served on the ship. The Little Monster, however, he’s not so happy.

  4. I hold you personally responsible for my blogging addiction. It’s totally your fault. And stop being so witty. You’re giving me a complex. I think that puts me squarely in phase 3.

  5. I’ve turned into “hey, someone from thusnsuch place keeps hanging out on my site and digging through my archives. They’re either stalking me or digging up dirt on me in an effort to ruin my run for the presidency.”

    Paranoia is a must for all bloggers. As it self-centeredness. The world simply doesn’t know what to do each day until they’ve read a post from us.

  6. Momma Mary: Prison food? Wha–? Oops! Forgot to feed the kids.

    Cheri: Also “Hiney,” and “Tushy.” Heh. Heh. Heh.

    MOFM: Yes, yes it does.

    Steph: Yes, yes it does.

    Chris: I e-mailed you a tissue.

    Green Girl: You are NOT the only one! I also think your stuff rocks!

    Kate: It may be an urban myth.

    Mel: It’s OK, laugh. I’ll be wearing my “Tushy Lopez” licensed bathing suit.

    Vered: I’m available for further consultation if you need.

    Jennifer H.: I know. Sometimes daily for me.

    Myra: Should we 12-step together? I’ll come to Florida for the meetings!

    Clink: I know your blog, and you are NOT in #4. You’re a 5, and with no butt talk.

    Da G: Maybe you’ve got a hot secret admirer? And I’ll be on your campaign team.

  7. I have no delusions about my adjustment; I’m pretty shameless about leaving my Yahoo Mail window open on the screen so I can watch when comments come in.

    Clearly something is missing from my life.

  8. “…well-adjusted, unmedicated bloggers…” Yeah right, you slay me! Let me know if you find any.
    I’m shocked to realise that I’m cycling through this a couple of times a week. In fact, I only write a new post when I hit 5. I guess the first step is San Diego Momma showing you that you have a horrible, horrible problem.

  9. Hehehe, I was at stage 4 this week and it was so not pleasant…but a great thing that needed to happen so I could get to stage 5… oh yeah baby! Goofy-Self Acceptance!

    And since you and I are of the “Momma” versus “Mama” kind, we must be kindred spirits, which means on my blog roll you belong and in my twitter updates too!=)

  10. I am not medicated but far from normal. Love your blog, found you through BlogherNOt! :) I find myself in all stages from time to time. Thank you for assigning them, now I can just say “I’m stage 2 right now, leave me alone” to anyone who asks.

  11. I refuse to read or even comment on this post. I don’t have a problem ok? There’s no problem here. Nope. No need for an intervention.

    I’m not even remotely similar to any of those stages!

    THIS IS NOT A PROBLEM!

    Why do you keep picking on me? That’s all it is, you’re singling me out.

    I don’t need Blogger’s Anonymous.

    Wait, they have a lot of coffee there don’t they?

  12. I’d like to suggest a sixth stage, which is where I live:

    Blissed out and actively trying to alienate her readers. Or so it would seem.

    Also? I self-medicate with Peanut M&Ms. And heroin.

  13. You.are.HYSTERICAL!!!

    Why am I just stumbling across your blog now?!?! Thank God for BlogHerNot 2008 or else I would never know the goodness that is SDMomma.

  14. DUDE! Celebrity baby names as butt synonyms would so rock the house as a post. I bet you would, like, totally get a gazillion hits on that one. (Also, you forgot the stage where one annoys the crap out of one’s blogging friends by suddenly reverting to teen skater-speak and other patterns of writing that have nothing to do with one’s actual voice. What stage is that? I might be in it…)

  15. I think I’m somewhere in between Stage 3 and 5. Trying to avoid Stage 4. Ditto to McMommy’s comment. I’m adding so many new bloggers to my blogroll tonight! Yeehaw.
    Great post, Momma!

  16. Oh, what the hell…I’m pretty sure I’m at stage 3, and I’m beginning to think God doesn’t wanna hear it!
    Can I be at stages 3 and 4 simultaneously?
    Maybe I’m not ready to be a REAL blogger yet.
    What stage is it when you still think, maybe 10am is a bit early to start medicating?
    Whine, sniffle…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.