Grandma Hazel’s Dentures: A Cautionary Tale

My Grandma Hazel — God love her — used to do this thing with her mouth, where she’d smack her dentures after every sentence. It sounded like a wet cross between a gum chew and an orange suck and it grossed me out no end. And that’s really saying something, because as a kid I picked my nose and put the boogers under my mom’s pillow.


After watching my friend Amanda interview me on her fabu site, The Mom Crowd, I’m horrified to discover that I inherited the smack. I also look as if I’m controlled by a puppeteer who takes maniacal delight in yanking my head up and down every .2 seconds.


Also, guess what? I still have my Chicago accent.

I seriously never knew that about myself.


But this isn’t about me.


Except that it kinda is.


OK, the Mom Crowd interview is also about running a 5K and babyproofing a hotel room during a vacation. But the smack! All I see is the smack!


Amanda, by the way, is the smackless blonde beauty on the right, who did a grand interview job.


12 Responses to “Grandma Hazel’s Dentures: A Cautionary Tale”

  1. Da Goddess says:

    You look great and sound just fine. By the way, can you recommend someone to help me get moved over to WordPress?

  2. manager mom says:

    My grandmother did this thing where she tries to finish your sentences. I found myself trying to just make up ridicuolus words or unexpected combinations so that she couldn’t anticipate what I was saying, so she’d wind up just kind of grunting syllables. I hope to GOD that little habit doesn’t surface in me…

  3. Amanda says:

    Aw, shucks. Thanks Deb. It was only the second time in my life that I interviewed someone on camera. I wish we had footage of the guy who came and watched us for half the show! Thank you for being so willing. You did GREAT!

  4. San Diego Momma says:

    Da G: Thanks for that. Well, let’s see…I know Myra from migrated her site to WP…and she said it was easy (I guess told her how…she was also able to bring her old posts with her. Also, Steph at may have some input for you. She’s good at WP stuff. (But she just moved, so she may be tearing her hair out right about now.)

    Manager M: Maybe your grandma is responsible for making you so creative and funny! Those nonsense words and weird sentence combos primed the pump!

    Amanda: I know! I remember seeing some guy out of the corner of my eye. (We get a lot of those down at that beach…) Adds to the flavor… :)

  5. DUDE.

    you’re amazing! i f-ing LOVE that i got to see this!

    btw, totally dig the chicaaagooe ayccent.

  6. Jamie says:

    You did a bang-up job.

    (My peripheral vision just read that as boob-job…do your eyes do that to you?)

    Let’s just say, YOU DID VERY WELL MY FRIEND.

  7. Deborah says:

    I don’t even have to look at the video to know you carried it off with aplomb and insightful, witty wisdom. I haven’t noticed the nodding, but I can imagine it’s because you’re always making sure other people are comfortable, so the nod is like saying, “yes, yes, that’s it!” or “you go, girl!” or whatever the moment calls for.

  8. FerdC says:

    About the head bobbing thing, it looks like someone’s messing with your voodoo doll. Maybe your mom, getting back at you for the pillow boogers.

  9. Ahaha! I loved the vlog interview! you are such a star! did NOT notice the lip smacking, only the head bobbing…lol…but it wasn’t annoying. would not have noticed if you didnt point it out! you are very humble…great that you can poke fun at yourself! Really enjoyed it though…lots of good info for a new blogger.

  10. pajama momma says:

    OMFG! You just such a great job! You looked awesome and you didn’t even sound retarded or anything. ;)

  11. OMG! My grandma smacked her dentures too! I’m going to watch/read/whatever the interview now. Be back with more commentary after these important link hops . . .

  12. You didn’t smack!!! Not once. You were so great, so poised, so lovely, and so well-spoken. Just like how you write.

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