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Fine. The Scariest Movie of All Time Is “Poltergeist.”

May 23rd, 2008

Also, the spooky atmospheric ’70s and ’80 thrillers, “Burnt Offerings” and “Still of the Night.”

 

And then, there’s also “The Eye” (Japanese version) and “The Descent.”

 

Please note that these are not horror (although “The Descent” has some gore), they’re just spooky. Whole different vibe.

 

Not that you asked.

 

No really, you didn’t. So I’m just putting my scary movies up here to be spiteful.

 

And I’m sorry about that. But I went to Sea World today (Big Mistake) and had to park in aisle E3, which is in Mauritania practically, and then I waited in lines forever and it was raining and freezezing and the kids were chucking Pepperidge Farm goldfish at each other and ALL I wanted to do was go home and pour coffee and Raisinets all over myself, but I’d bribed the kids with popcorn and a show if we could just get the hell out of Sea World already, so I’m cranky.

 

And while I’m answering questions, I would like to address Tootsie Farklepants’s age spot.

 

I’d just like to say that at first I read the question (“Also? I seem to be getting the beginnings of an age spot ON MY FACE but I think it might be another hand. What say you?”) as if she were growing a third hand. Seriously, I thought that. I’m telling you: snotviruses giganticus is consuming my medulla.

 

But in all real seriousness, I’d like to talk about what I did for my facial age spot:

I had it burned off.
But first, I tried Retin-A, which has worked on my forehead age spots beautifully. Then, when it didn’t work on the brown hand on my cheek, I went to my trusty esthetician, who told me she would burn it off for me.

And that’s what she did.

And now it’s gone.

 

But first: consider the esthetician. If you found her in the back of some magazine advertising $10 facials and a tuna salad lunch, forgo her treatments. On the other hand, if you have my esthetician, who is seriously awesome, and is a medical esthetician (she works in a plastic surgeon’s office and some days it’s all I can do to not pocket some Botox syringes), then you might want to ask her to burn your age spot off.

 

She will most likely apply a dot of trichloroacetic acid to your age spot, after which it will grow exponentially and look hideous and crusty. Then, in a week, it will flake off and you will want to use trichloroacetic for all your ills: nasal hair, ear wax, pesky neighbors.

 

I spent some time using the skin lighteners on the market, but then I read that they can poison your liver and I’m way too hypochrondriacal for that.

 

So that’s my advice. But please consider the source.

 

DSC_0007.JPG

 

On May 23rd, 2008, Cheri @ Blog This Mom! said:

Will Michael Jackson’s liver fall out?

On May 23rd, 2008, pajama momma said:

Ok wait….what? What do you mean she burnt it off? Was it something that was protruding or was it like a real age spot?

I’m asking this because I swear to you I have what I call my “freckle mustache” it’s the worst. I have blonde facial hair, but God forbid I don’t get waxed and the freckles (or age spots or pregnancy mask, don’t know what it is) come out in full force behind the hair making it look like I have a mustache.

I have no idea what to do. So now you got me all curious what you had burnt off. HELP!?!?!?!

On May 23rd, 2008, Tootsie Farklepants said:

While I cringe at the thought of burning anything ON MY FACE, it may get disparate. Which would call for that exact measure.

On May 23rd, 2008, Tootsie Farklepants said:

**desperate – GAWD!

On May 23rd, 2008, Jenn @ Juggling Life said:

I’m glad Tootsie clarified. To be desperate is one thing, but to be disparate is just horrible.

I do the Retin-A and the Mefloquine prescription fade cream. I don’t know if it works, but it makes me feel like I’m trying!

On May 23rd, 2008, San Diego Momma said:

Oooo, what’s Mefloquine? I must investigate.

PJ Momma: The age spot was burned with an acid they use for chemical peels. Just a pinprick on my dot and the dot was gone forever! (Or lurking unbeknownst to me under my skin).

Toots: There’ve been no ill effects from the burning. It’s an acid they put all over the face for chemical peels and so I felt pretty comfortable just having a bitty bit on my age spot.

On May 23rd, 2008, slouching mom said:

I’m going to add “Burnt Offerings” to my Netflix queue. Thanks for the recommendation!

On May 24th, 2008, pajama momma said:

to Jenn@juggling life

Not to be a pain or anything, but did you really mean Mefloquine?
I’d hate to get my illegal prescription from Canada (did I say that outloud?) and find out I have a cure for malaria, however, it might motivate to take a trip to Costa Rica.

On May 24th, 2008, FerdC said:

OMG, the scariest portrait of all time!
All it’s missing is the brown paper bag!
; )

On May 26th, 2008, Da Goddess said:

Nightwing does it for me. I’m talking about the one with the bats in the desert version, not all the other ones. And you know why that movie scared me? Because afterwards, my friend Krista and I were camped out in her family’s garage/den for the night and her dad played a joke on us by pounding on the door an hour or two after he figured we should be sleeping.

I miss Pt. Loma for that reason and sorta hate it, too.

On another note, I like the photo.

On June 7th, 2008, sandiegomomma.com » Blog Archive » The Movies You Maybe Never Saw, But Probably Should said:

[…] recommended this one before, and after watching it again last night, I stand by […]

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