April 25th, 2008
If you come across a tall, decomposing man with his back to you, do not say, “Hello, kind sir? Can you help us?” And when he doesn’t answer, don’t keep pushing, asking again, “Hello? Kind sir?”
Kind sir is a zombie.
Do NOT play “flip a coin” with Shaggy.
Mops on heads make convincing decoys. Same with carrots for ears.
That shack by the side of the swamp? Totally fake haunted by a real estate developer named “Jeb.”
There’s a sheriff in every ghost town.
Do not go to your hairdresser’s and ask for the “Velma.”
There’s probably a coal chute hidden somewhere in your house.
Space ghosts are real-ish. AND they have southern accents.
Cousin Meldahyde did it.
A fan, soap bubbles, spring-loaded ironing board and open dryer will get the bad guy every time.
Fill up your gas tank.