I have this annoying habit, one I didn’t know what to call before, although I knew it needed a name, a slogan, a tagline. Something catchy and inspiring.


Finally, a few months ago a friend called it “Going Geico™,” and nothing could more perfectly sum it up.


So what I do is I “dub” over what someone else is saying, as in I offer a running commentary, sort of like a sportscaster. We call it “Going Geico™” because I’m like those Geico commercials where the common, everyday plebe is describing their car insurance mishap as a celebrity sits next to them, re-translating the commoner’s depiction into something else.


An example is when my friend sneezed during dinner. She explained that the pepper made her do it. I felt this required more explanation, so I jumped in and offered, “Pepper. When it’s finely milled as this one was, a person can breathe the pepper dust in, resulting in a sneeze much like it did for Kristine here.”


Annoying, see.


So I found myself Going Geico™ all over the place at the party/concert last night. I theorized on age spots, travel websites, Eckhart Tolle, t-shirt decals, classical music, the strawberry growing season, afros and maracas. Especially irritatingly, because if I have a glass of wine, I tend to adopt this college professor tone and drone on and on and on about crap nobody cares about. Then, I go sit on the stairs by myself, when in a moment of clarity I realize I need to not converse with people, because they hate me.


Anyway, the singer/songwriter we heard last night is a remarkable and talented guy named Chris Trapper. And I love his lyrics and think he’s smart and insightful and a great performer. After the concert, he stayed for a little while and I made a supreme effort to keep sitting on the stairs, alone, because if I gave into my baser instincts, I’d corner him and Go Geico™ on a variety of subjects he could just search Wikipedia for. Plus, as an adjunct to this annoying habit, I babble about stuff which makes no sense, while my husband sits with a pained smile on his ever-suffering face.


And I almost made it.


But then, I had to pipe up about my boobs and beach softball and viral marketing and Berkeley and I can’t even finish this post because I’m pretty sure I also talked about how you make babies and I’d just like to go sit on the stairs alone now.


9 Responses to “Riffing”

  1. mommypie says:

    OMG – THAT is laugh out loud hilarious! Is the Geico thing something that came about once you had kids? I know I do that with my daughter …

    “Look Mommy – a green tree.”

    “Yes Honey – and do you know WHY it’s green? Some trees have needles and some have leaves … blah bu-blah bu-blah …”

    Yeah, I should probably watch that myself …

  2. […] lentils. But consult with someone who really knows what their talking about. Because I’m just Going Geico™ […]

  3. […] of course went Geico™ like no one’s business. Eventually, the Rock pulled me away right in the middle of my […]

  4. […] I’m compelled to write more about Going Geico™ — because its roots run deep, and also obsessively referring to it is the nature of the […]

  5. Shelia says:

    You are so damn funny that I would follow you to the stairs and sit beside you just to see what you were gonna say next!

    You have such a way with words! I can see how the Vics Vapor Rub is working, so I went and dug mine out of the medicine cabinet! My question is: Where do I apply it? To my hands so that my fingers slide over the keys on my computer keyboard? The left side of my head in the hopes that it will penetrate “the narrative” telling part of my brain? Or do I swallow it on a heated spoon (my grandma used to feed it to us this way) but I don’t remember it resulting in prolific writing???

  6. Sugar says:

    Isn’t this a supremely intelligent form of turrets???

  7. […] like a fun girl, even sober. 9. Undomestic Diva because…well, just because. 10. Deb. Because Going Geico is something I must see in […]

  8. […] help that I get nervous around “new” people, say silly, nonsensical things, interject inappropriate comments at inopportune times, and experience nervous […]

  9. […] “Don’t talk with your mouth open.” “Whatever you do, don’t Go Geico™,” stuff like that. When I exhausted my affirmations, I blared some boot scootin’ music […]

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