It all started as I walked innocently through the outdoor mall toward Victoria’s Secret on a strapless bra quest. I navigated my way around the hundreds of mall kiosks, resisting the siren calls to improve my hair’s texture and heal my life. I sauntered confidently. I even snickered a little to myself. I could DO…Continue Reading
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Mars and Venus Visit The Planet Verizon, Redux
I originally posted this two years ago. And now our Verizon contract is up. Which means it’s time for new phones. Which means I am going to spend 18 days in a wireless store with my husband. Please send a straitjacket. (I dial my husband’s cell phone, after a few rings, The Rock picks…Continue Reading
PROMPTuesday #116: The Voice Within
When I was an eighth grader, I decided I wanted to be just like Julie Hinnegan. Athletic and popular, Julie had this amazing long, straight hair, even white teeth and a lispy girly laugh. Since I couldn’t be athletic OR popular and because my hair resembled chicken fluff, I only had the teeth and the…Continue Reading
If You Believe That, I’ve Got a Bridge To Sell You
I’m the person who believes almost anything. If you tell me a ridiculous story you completely pulled out of your ass? I will ask with eyes wide open, “Really?” Like: Any Person: “Hey Deb! I have monkeys in my butt!” Me: “Really?” Another Person: “Deb! Want to borrow my invisibility cloak?” Me: “Ooooo. Really?”…Continue Reading
PROMPTuesday #115: Make The World Stop
Today, write about something you miss. Is it a person? A time in your life? A house? Your butt 20 years ago? Whatever it is, please pen an ode to what you miss. Then… …post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in…Continue Reading
The Way of Things
There’s the running outside and breathless requests for dinner. The wandering on white carpets with dusty feet and jelly hands. The “stop touching mes!” and the Miranda Cosgrove CD blaring from the play room. I want nothing more than to unwind with the Real Housewives and a glass of Cab, but it’s time…Continue Reading
Don’t Hire Me for Your Ad Campaign
My husband is a tile and stone contractor whose work is so famously awesome he’s had amazing jobs for 20 years strictly by word of mouth. I mean, he’s good. We’re talkin’ San Diego Home of the Year stuff. Classy, reputable shizz. However, with the recent economic slump, he’s found it necessary to do a…Continue Reading
Summer Vacation Survival Tips for the Mother of Smallish Children
(This is my PROMPTuesday submission) Oh summer. What wondrous times of blue skies, bike rides, and 400 loads of chlorinated laundry. Such good, good memories. The house resounding with the chorus of “mommy can I?” and sibling rivalries. Visions of goldfish crackers and the Yo Gabba Gabba dild0 circling in your mind (which you…Continue Reading
Because I Care About Your Revealing Neckline
Your Décolleté and How to Care for It: http://bit.ly/ckTNFX. Don’t know about you, but mine is starting to look like naked chicken skin.
Do You Have a Child with Asthma in Your Life?
This book is illustrated by my niece-in-law. It’s about children who have asthma. http://bit.ly/bbsnIt She’s a talent.
Fall Book Club
This month’s book is: Your Presence is Requested at Suvanto. It was written by a good friend’s sister, and I’m beside myself to read it.
PROMPTuesday #114: Make a List, Check it Twice
I’ve had this list thing going on in my head for about a week or two. Lately I’m just walking around, minding my own business, and suddenly a list pops into my brain. Which means that now I’m thinking about everything in this weirdly organized listular fashion. It’s most unlike me, I assure you. Usually,…Continue Reading
