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Kitchen Sink

Skin Authority Review

October 10th, 2013

If you’re a friend or family member, you know that my search for good skincare products is legend. I’ve really and truly tried almost everything, but find that only a small portion of potions I’ve applied to my face don’t make me break out or manage my skin conditions (i.e. oiliness but dryness, clogged pores, sagging, and general sallowness). I’ve taken to asking for samples for everything I’m hoping will transform my visage, because I know from experience that after one or two applications of anything, I usually wake up with a nose zit or depletion of all hope that my skin will ever be “normal.”

 

My mom had the same issues, and one of my childhood memories is her surveying her skin in the mirror and then covering it inch by inch with foundations and concealers and primers and correctors. I used to search through her bathroom drawers and dream of all the makeup I could have one day – for fun not for function; and certainly not to hide myself. The irony of all this is that I found my mom beautiful. Her imperfect skin didn’t once cross my mind. But you know how it is when you actually OWN the skin: every little problem is magnified beyond all that’s reasonable.

 

All this is to say, my skin haunts me. I remember once going to a plastic surgeon just to hear my options, and him getting really close to my face and saying, “Yes, I see. You’re worried you’ll be talking to someone and they’ll be looking at THIS” as he pointed to my large-pored nose. Years later, I had a chemical peel to get rid of my bothersome skin once and for all, but the results were not as stellar as I’d hoped (because my expectation was that I’d suddenly have someone else’s skin or at least, not my own anymore).

 

Because I’ve written periodically about my skin woes over the year, a few people have reached out to ask me to try their products; and I have, and some really did just fine, and I was happy for a time, but eager to see if something else could transform my complexion like BAM. Perhaps there was something else out there? Something I hadn’t tried and that wouldn’t make me feel bad about my nose?

 

Then, last July, a Skin Authority representative contacted me and offered a treatment at one of its offices using Skin Authority products. I accepted because MAYBE THIS COULD BE THE THING! Also, I was very intrigued by the fact that the products “resurface” and”reprogram” the skin to generate new cells and push them to the surface so your tired old cells have to find somewhere else to live.

 

I went to my appointment with a skip in my walk and oil in my pores. After my makeup was removed, my skin glycolized and assessed, I spent a lot of time speaking with my skin coach. She asked deep questions about everything from my behavior to smoking habits (I don’t! Wine on the other hand…) and from my answers, devised a regimen focused on brightening and improving skin tone. She even handed me some topical vitamin D because I have a diagnosed deficiency, and threw in some dramatic eye lift. She told me to use the products faithfully day and night and to keep at it (a problem I have).

 

That was two months ago.

 

 

I’ve since used my products as instructed MANY DAYS IN A ROW and never once fell asleep without washing my face (a problem I have) or went to school drop-off with last night’s makeup on (another problem). The first several weeks, I noticed some “turbulent” skin with tiny whiteheads and blackheads popping up, and after reaching out to my skin coach was told new cells pushing to the surface and taking a lot of gunk with them – in effect – clearing out my congested skin.

 

I liked the sound of that.

I kept going and began to notice that my skin felt moisturized all the time and not dry around the mouth and nose like is my thing. My skin tone seemed to even out and my cheeks looked plumper (in a good way).

 

THEN when I was getting a pedicure, the nail tech said, “You have pretty skin.” SHE SAID I HAD PRETTY SKIN. Do you know that I’ve never even once heard that from anyone, ever? I couldn’t believe it nor could I accept the compliment gracefully. I kept asking, “Are you talking to me?” and “Are you suffering from drug addiction or eye blindness?” and “That person over there has nice skin. Were you maybe talking to her?”

 

Yet, I had to admit that my skin did indeed look good, plus it felt good. And I’m going to show you, too, but first a few things:

 

Please know that I am currently undergoing a PMS attack of epic proportions. What that means for me is red, inflamed skin and more zits than open letters to Miley Cyrus. What I want you to focus on is the improved tone of my skin because that’s what I’ve noticed most. My skin feels like it’s achieved just the right moisture balance and suppleness level. All my dry patches have disappeared and while I still get oily, it’s not the slick-on-the-forehead kind. Also you may notice that my crow’s feet have softened:

 

 

I’m sorry for the magnified nose and assorted objects springing out of my face, but you see skin perkiness, right?

 

I imagine that whatever is in Skin Authority products indeed regenerated my skin. I’ve done a lot of research on product ingredients and such, but the science always goes over my head, I just know that when something works it works, and when it doesn’t, someone must die. According to its website, Skin Authority products are free of irritants and unnatural crud like dyes, added fragrances, and parabens, but its “technologies” are what really make the difference. Glycolic is in several of the products I have, and that’s a very good thing for sloughing off old cells. Also, the Vitamin C serum must contain virgin blood because it is hands down the best I’ve used as far as brightening and firming go (and do I need to remind you all that I’ve used everything)?

 

(Here’s a photo before PMS stole my glow. See the glow? Also I’m pictured here with my friend Lori. Which reminds me, I really need to ask her if I can perpetuate her image across the Internet…) 

 

I will tell you that the products aren’t inexpensive (at least for me), and the retail price of the kit I used is $379. But it contains a cleanser, hydroquinone treatment, vitamin A cream, the Super C serum, a night revitalizer and sunscreen. I began using the products on July 26, and I’m nowhere near being even halfway through with any of it – except the cleanser. I expect the products will last another two to three months, so amortized over time (like I’m a financial analyst), that’s not a bad investment.

 

There’s plenty more Skin Authority products I’m anxious to try next, like the Deep Detox Ritual Mask, and the Calming Mask for when PMS drags me into its monster cave. I have to say that after searching for so long, I think I may have finally found something that doesn’t clog my pores, treats all my problem areas, and addresses my sagging wrinkles ALL IN ONE.

 

The only thing missing is a “nose diminisher,” but I bet the Skin Authority folks could totally make that happen.

 

(Skin Authority provided me with a Bright Skin Kit, a VitaD Fortified Illuminating Duo, and a Dramatic Eye Lift serum. This entire review is without bias and based on personal experience. The after photo is unretouched (BUT I REALLY WANTED TO TOUCH IT), and all results have been verified by my nail technician.)

 

On October 16th, 2013, julie gardner said:

I never wash my face at night (I think I’m not really a woman) so I deserve my crappy skin.

As much as I lament the wrinkles I am JUST THAT LAZY.

I am willing to spend the money, but I’d have to tack on the cost of having someone live in my home and wash my face for me in the evenings. Preferably after I’ve gone to sleep because that’s five minutes more that I could have already been sleeping.

Right. Did I mention that besides lazy and unwashed I’m also always tired?
I need help.

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