Being Zen from Someone Decidedly Zen-Less

A re-post. Again, this is SO weird. I NEVER do this.


I find myself in a bit of a transformation. I say “a bit,” because I tend to take to these things slowly, instead of speeding full throttle into change. Still, I can’t deny that certain situations and people have been put in my life at a time when I am ready to be different, and while it is good — I know this — it’s unsettling too.


You may ask how I know I’m undergoing a fundamental shift, and I can tell you it’s how you know you are cold or hungry or breathing. It’s biological almost, some budding kernel living in the core of yourself, and you’re aware it’s there, but unsure how it took root.


But it’s happening — right now — and I’m grateful for it.


Are you in the midst of a transformation?


Here’s how you might know:


1. Are certain people in your life no longer working for you?

Who surrounds you? Supportive, loving, constructive people? Or passive aggressive sorts? Gossipers? Status-seekers? Maybe you just don’t feel “right” with your old group anymore. If you’re starting to see that you’re not feeling soul synergies with those you spend the most time with, you might be ready to move on and allow more positive people in your life. If you begin to consciously choose to not spend as much time with people who don’t mirror your best self, you could be transforming.


2. You find yourself meeting different kinds of people than usual.

This past year, some people have entered my life who I knew right off were there to teach me something, make me better, challenge me to rise up. These people are interested in achieving great things, unfettered by thoughts of insecurity and “can’t.” As a result, I’m realizing what I am capable of achieving, and believing I can. If you find yourself shedding old belief systems and labels, and meeting more people who don’t buy into either, you could be smack dab in the middle of a soul paradigm shift.


3. You’re making different decisions.

This could be saying yes more, saying no more, not saying anything at all. Maybe where you once were loud, you’re now quiet. Maybe you’re speaking up where your silence used to rule. Whatever it is, you are willing to buck old habits and thought processes.


4. You’re more open than usual.

Open-minded, open-hearted, open-ended. You understand you don’t have all the answers, but you let them come. You relax into the not knowing.


5. Things that used to matter to you don’t anymore.

First and foremost? What other people think. You proceed knowing you need to be right with you. You learn the difference between opinion and judgment. You consult your higher self. You know you know. You trust what you know.


6. You’re scared.

Yes, you are. But what scares you more is staying the same.


8 Responses to “Being Zen from Someone Decidedly Zen-Less”

  1. Kerstin says:

    Yes, Yes and Yes. There was a time when I thought it comes with getting older, but I like your thoughts on this much better!

    I love how you write that you “just know” that it’s happening. I am there right now and I feel calmer than I ever have.

    I’m also way less willing to put up with any kind of bullshit, that that might be another story…

  2. This post is so darn timely for me. This is exactly what is happening to me now. It is a transformational period in which life is turned upside down, but in a pretty exciting way.

  3. Alexandra says:

    Yes, especially to 1,3, and 5.

    How strange that it’s the odd numbers, just like that.


  4. Ferd says:

    Thanks (again) for the thanks! :-)

    I do think this Zen-ness is a gift that comes with age, but only if one is open to growth and does the work required. It takes time to understand our own weak spots, and it’s not easy to change one’s ways.

    Deb, over these past few years I have seen your own positive changes, and that makes me happy. Thank you for so openly sharing the important bits of your life! :-)

  5. Bethany says:

    OMFG. I have not been here in a long time, but have been thinking about you tons. Decided to check in today and without being dramatic this is exactly, and I mean EXACTLY what I have been going through for about six months now. Almost every single number. I could have written this Deb. We need face time. xxxxx

  6. Nichole says:

    LOVE this post. I may need to print it out and put it on my fridge.

  7. Middle State says:

    Ohmygod! I answered yes to all of these. In fact, I went to an intuitive reader card psychic person last week because I was just curious what she’d say about me: stranger walking in off street on a random Thursday. She nailed all of it down to the smallest details. While what she told me was not all good news, the thing that really resonated was the major energy shift she said was welling within me. I’ve known it for a while, of course, but hearing it from another and now reading your list, well, I’m blown away. I am scared. No doubt about it.

  8. Now that I’ve read this, I realized that these actually happened to me a few months ago. The only thing that’s different with is I don’t feel scared at all. It actually makes me feel more free and light. Do you think what I’m experiencing is a totally different situation? LOL.

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