San Diego Momma. A San Diego Mom Blogger.

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I'm a mom, wife, writer and soul searcher who colors life with words.

 

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Kitchen Sink

Balance

May 18th, 2012

I forget why, but not too long ago I was reiterating to a friend what it is I do every day. Maybe it was my husband and I was saying YOU BETTER APPRECIATE ME!, although I think that was an inner mind scream instead.

 

No this time, I was explaining my various jobs and responsibilities, and as I listed the bullet points – ghost blogger, article contributor, script writer, editor and letters rehasher – my friend exclaimed, “That’s a lot of content!” and it stopped me, because it IS a lot of content; words coming up and splashing onto pages, which has stolen posts from me I wish I could write here.

 

I’ve faced quite a debilitating rush of writer’s block lately, yet as I say it I know that’s not right. I’ve been writing, a lot, every day, massaging vowels and consonants and syllables into sentences or dialogue or something not crappy, it’s just not writing on my blog, truly, my favorite space.

 

I began to over think things (I know! So uncommon for my normally synapse-less, non-firing brain cells). Wonder if I could write, just to WRITE, you know? Not for money or deadlines, but for pleasure for the endorphins, a commodity completely eluding me, and not in a bad way. Now is the time to work. I am building something, I am constructing a life, a pattern, a going-for-it, that truthfully? Has always escaped me. I’ve coasted a long while, doing what I’ve needed to do, still giving in to rest and freedom from work. I can’t do that now. If I want momentum to do what it must – grow – then I need to be on the track with it, not stepping off, not even for a second.

 

Or maybe that’s my inner mind scream.

 

I’m only trying to say that I’ve missed being here and conversations with my tribe and writing just to write.

 

I’ll reclaim it, I can’t not, it’s just that for the moment? I need to follow my train.

 

What’s happening with you over there behind the screen?

 

I want out of my head for a time.

 

This is not edited, and I apologize for that; I only felt I had to put words to fingers and GO.

 

On May 19th, 2012, Jenn @ Juggling Life said:

To everything there is a season . . .

On May 21st, 2012, tracy@sellabitmum said:

We’re always here for when you write in this space. Love what you are doing outside of this space. We know. xoxo

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