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Kitchen Sink

Mojo, Mojo, Wherefore Art Thou?

August 1st, 2011

I’m re-posting this because apt, much?
Here, again is my step-by-step guide to getting your mojo back:

 

Go here! No, there!

 

I said, here!

 

Jump. Jump harder!

 

Not that hard!

 

Think, think, think. Get that brain going! Let the thoughts flow in, flow out.

 

Too much flow! Stuff going in wily nily. Filter the fluff!

 

Filter it!

 

You’re a Brita!

 

Have some caffeine. Take your inspiration up a notch.

 

That’s too much! Just a cup.

 

Have a glass of water.

 

Don’t pee. Keep your ideas inside your body!

 

Hop, hop, hop!

 

One foot only!

 

Now two.

 

Back to one!

 

Feel those ideas!

 

Sit down.

 

Write.

 

That’s right.

 

Write.

 

Keep going.

 

Keep hopping.

 

Keep feeling.

 

Hold it in.

 

Hold it in.

 

Let it out!

 

You’re a balloon! A big fat balloon full of ideas and mojo.

 

Now POP!

 

Here comes the creativity!

 

Seeping out like sweet idea nectar.

 

Let it go!

 

That’s it.

 

Just let it go!

 

Now you’re a hose!

 

A hose spraying writerly goodness all over the computer!

 

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

 

Adjust the nozzle.

 

Don’t let all your ideas come out at once!

 

Are you hopping?

 

Keep hopping.

 

Are you over there?

 

Come over here!

 

There you go!

 

It’s your first draft.

 

Now throw it away!

 

All the good stuff comes after the first draft.

 

I said throw it away!

 

No! Don’t look at it!

 

It’s behind you now.

 

This is where the real magic happens!

 

Don’t check on the kids!

 

They’re fine.

 

Stare straight ahead.

 

Look to the left.

 

To the right.

 

Still hopping?

 

Don’t give the toilet your ideas!

 

Keeping them in?

 

There you go.

 

Can you feel the mojo?

 

Deep breaths. Deep breaths.

 

Now hyperventilate.

 

Rock back and forth.

 

HOP, goddammit!

 

Good.

 

Goooooooood.

 

Looks like you’re ready for phase three.

 

Listen closely

 

Closer.

 

Lean in more.

 

Put your ear right here.

 

IDAHO POTATOES!

 

Forget everything I said.

 

Look inside.

 

Look inside.

 

You already have the answers.

 

This has all been a dream.

 

See your mojo?

 

Right there all along.

 

You know what to do.

 

You’re all you need.

 

Quiet the outside world.

 

Dammit! I said, HOP!

 

Have you learned nothing?

 

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On August 1st, 2011, Alexandra said:

You are too adorable.

xo

On August 1st, 2011, Mad Woman behind the Blog said:

Am I hopping on one foot or two?
And
I think I need to pee.

Hm, wonder what my readers would think of a post about the bathroom.

Thanks, I think.

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