My Chiropractic Experience, Part II



I don’t even like looking at this picture.


Part I is here.


The next step in my journey toward battling my fear of chiropractors and their bone-cracking infernal ways happened when I attended a tweet-up last month. A get-together of San Diego tweeters, a tweet-up is a pretty regular occurrence in this neck of the woods. This one happened at Dr. Klein’s office, where he and @sogeshirts hosted a bunch of us to shuck and jive and learn more about SEO. Turns out Dr. Klein is — you guessed it — a chiropractor and invited us to try a spinal evaluation, where he’d check the alignment of our vertebrae. I opted out, but then I heard there’d be no cracking anywhere on my person, so I relented. I laid down on a table, submitted to a chiropractor touching my skeletal system, something I’d never done before ever anywhere, and of course discovered my bones were completely jacked up. Out of alignment, stuck, screwed royally.


Believe me when I tell you I didn’t care. My C-7 vertebra could stay where it jutted out of my head. Because no one was going to crack it back into place. NO ONE. Same with my T-2 and L-4 and whatever the hell else was jacking me up. So case closed.


Although…I had to admit I’ve been feeling a little unwell in those areas. Tight, you know? Unable to swivel my head to the left or right without crying out Tourettes-style. My jaw kept unhinging in uncomfortable ways, my sinuses caused me undue angst, and I’d suffered from ocular migraines with alarming frequency. Surely all that weirdness could not be related to my unruly C-7, et al?


Gently and without hitting me upside the whacked-out head, Dr. Klein explained that nerves run down the length of the spinal column and poke out (not a clinical term) the sides of your vertebrae, and when your muscles (there are hundreds of muscles connecting each vertebra to the other) contract due to an injury, they pull the vertebrae closer together, compress nerves, lead the cartilage between the vertebra to stick and cause general jack-upedness. Also, the popping and cracking sound of the bones when a chiro works with you? That is the sound of the stuck cartilage coming apart to free your range of motion and uncompress your nerves and is NOT the sound of your bones being ground underfoot by wild pigs.

Who knew?


Since my neck vertebrae were crazy out of alignment, chances are the nerves in my neck (the very same ones feeding my head and leading to my eyes, sinus area, etc.) were compressed and causing some of my issues.


But I still didn’t care.


After telling me of my troublesome spinal condition, and after me telling them yep, thanks, me and my C-7 will just limp out of here right now to return never anytime in Never Ever Land, Dr. Klein’s staff looked at me in that way sane people do to Gary Busey.


“What are you afraid of?” Dr. Klein asked.


And when I answered “You and your hands of death,” he showed me this robot cam device he uses on people like me who un-enjoy bone cracking. Which is really cartilage unsticking, but still sounds like devils eating my liver.


So I went to an appointment.


Stay tuned.


Also! Next week I’m posting a picture of me in my bathing suit! Because we were just talking about scary stuff!


12 Responses to “My Chiropractic Experience, Part II”

  1. I do love my chiro, but I still cringe inside when he’s prepping to crack me. I have to force myself to relax and let my body go with it. Plus, he’s cute.

    Now, if you’re showing up next time in your swim suit, I’m coming back to see what pills have caused you to bare all (or most of it)! Cuz I wouldn’t do that, and I’m ballsy! You may be my next hero…

  2. Starr says:

    YOU are like THE BEST WRITER EVER…!!!!!
    In stitches over here and peeing my pants ’cause I don’t wear underwear… :)
    Love You SOOO Much…!!!!!
    Love to the girls and hope ALL is well :)


  3. Alexandra says:

    I NEVER believed in chiropractic until they helped me.

    True story.

    I will stay tuned.

    And you make chiropractic care interesting like I’ve never seen it be done.

  4. San Diego Momma I throughly have enjoyed your story. I hope it turns out well. I have seen many people like you in the past 20 years. Most of the patients that come in have some level of fear or suspicion. It is very rewarding to help them. Often they are the ones who become my greatest fans.

    Thanks for insights!

    Darrell Kilcup, D.C.

  5. When you finish this story I am going to pass it along on my blog!

  6. Barrie Summy says:

    I am DYING to read the next installment. Like you, I have AVOIDED CHIROPRACTORS LIKE THE PLAGUE! Seriously, I have a healthy of fear of pain and chiropractic adjustments look like pain to me.

  7. I understand as much your fear of chiros.But man! You’re wonderful in putting altogether this experience into a real good story. I really would like to read those other parts of this part 1 and just to let you on a little secret: I have chiropractic-phobia myself even though my back and neck sometimes screams with pain. I think I have to be more of a man to face someone like Dr. Klein.

  8. Cal says:

    This is pretty funny! “hands of death!” Now you like it though! It feels great immedietly!

  9. […] as a natural c&#111&#110&#115equence and we got some links from a military mom,&#32&#116&#104e san diego momma, a surferwife, bloggoneit, and e&#118&#101&#110 a local blogger who had seen one of my marketing […]

  10. […] the women wrote some blogs as a natural consequence and we got some links from a military mom, the san diego momma, a surferwife, bloggoneit, and even a local blogger who had seen one of my marketing videos. I want […]

  11. Jessica says:

    I’m still never going.

  12. […] To hear firsthand how Dr. Klein has helped his patients click here to read their stories. ¬†Friend and blogger San Diego Momma recently went for her first spinal evaluation and she describes her visit in multiple posts! ¬†Part 1 & Part 2. […]

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