San Diego Momma. A San Diego Mom Blogger.

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Kitchen Sink

Why I’m Here

March 28th, 2011

I took the weekend off from most things that exist online. I had to because I’ve been suffering from over-stimulation and saturation. It’s affecting everything — my creativity most horrifyingly of all. You know how when you exist within the same boundaries for too long and start to think that’s all there is? And your world begins to narrow? That’s what’s happening to me on Twitter/Facebook/the Internet. I need my soul and brain to know there is more. And to go there.

 

I welcome the clarity that came these last few days with a wide open mind. There’s more to do, but I’m re-focused on what I want and why I’m here. It’s too easy to blur your online motivations once you jump into the blogging pool. You think maybe you want fame. Or recognition for the sake of it. You perhaps want to win popularity contests and then become less of who you are because you sacrifice your goals by agreeing with everyone or not speaking up when you should. Or saying no when you ought to.

 

I’ve discovered over and over that I’m best in small groups. Among people who know who they are, and live authentically from that place. I cherish these personal connections, but scatter when I spread myself too thin or try to be everything to everybody.

 

But that’s just me. Everyone has their reason, their motivation, their truth.

 

I just rest easier knowing mine. And not pretending any different.

 

P.S. This is nothing to do with not wanting to interact online, and everything about interacting authentically.

 

On March 28th, 2011, Ginger said:

It was nice to read this and know I’m not the only one. I’ve been doing this same thing recently, taking a step back and staying offline more. Relationships are getting better because of it, and really, those are the relationships that matter most.

Glad you found some clarity!

On March 28th, 2011, vodkamom said:

I hear you.

I feel overwhelmed most of the time, and although I peek around corners and inside your lives, I am often too crazy busy to leave a note.

xoxoxoxo

On March 28th, 2011, Twenty Four At Heart said:

I’ve been going through my own Internet-identity crisis lately so I understand. When I began blogging I wrote exactly what I wanted with no fear. I honestly didn’t think anyone would ever read me. Now? I feel stifled just knowing the local paper is linking to me and that everyone around here knows who I am. I’ve seriously considered starting another, anonymous, blog so I can go back to “being me.”

On March 28th, 2011, diamond dave said:

I too am better off in small groups. I honestly don’t know what I’d do if all of a sudden I started getting hundreds of commenters all wanting my attention. Or worse yet, if I had to transform into somebody I wasn’t.

On March 28th, 2011, Trish said:

Once again, I am on the same page. I am in the thick of blogging confusion. Why am I blogging? What do I hope to gain from it? What is my motivation? Do I want to be popular? Do I want people to like me? Sure, but I don’t want to lose myself in the process. I want people to like the real me. Thanks for reminding me.

On March 28th, 2011, Fragrant Liar said:

You took the words right out of my mouth. Being online so much is addictive, and when you’re not online you can begin to feel disconnected from life, which is the biggest ruse of all. I have to establish time limits for my online activity, but it’s really hard to enforce when so much of what I do (freelance work for a client and my own novel writing and blogging) is online. I need to make a plan to stay away and engage with real people and stick to it. Better than I have been.

On March 28th, 2011, Deb said:

Oh my! did you read my post today? or, worse yet… my mind?

I have decided that the competition is just too much for me… Be a better blogger! Get more readers! Tweet your posts! Get more comments! Follow more people! Have more people follow you! OMG! Make it STOP!

I made a decision this morning. I will return to blogging for myself. I will write what I feel, and nothing more. If people come to read.. they come to read. If they do not…? Oh well. Their loss.

I REALLY like the small group idea too. hmmm. Now, how can I make that work for me?

Love you! <3

On March 28th, 2011, Alexandra said:

Good post, but I”d like to know what the trigger was.

You know?

I know mine…I start to feel anxious.

Then, I have to go back and remember to step out of the door of the internet world, and into the real world.

We are NOT our blogs.

On March 28th, 2011, JenniferfromLaJolla said:

I really like this post. Especially this part: “…Among people who know who they are, and live authentically from that place.” I wish people who fit this description would wear a sign around their necks, would make life so much easier.

On March 28th, 2011, Morgan B. said:

I’m totally giving you a virtual high five right now.

On March 28th, 2011, Ginger said:

Have I mentioned that I love the way you approach yourself? No really, I do. We all have our own selves to take care of, and I love how honest you are about the need to take care of that part of you.
Stepping back can be good. I’ve started trying to put limits on my online time–vastly reducing my time on the weekends for example–while still feeding the needs internal to me. It’s a balance, but you remind me it’s good to work towards that balance.

On March 28th, 2011, flutter said:

I like you. That’s all.

On March 28th, 2011, Melanie @ Mel, A Dramatic Mommy said:

I think one reason being online is hard for me is because there are so many different ‘versions’ of me out there and keeping up with all of them is hard!

On March 29th, 2011, Ferd said:

Authentic!? I can’t think of anyone in the blog universe that is more authentic, unique, and willing/able to open their hearts and feelings than you.
I am here (on the internet) simply to connect with other people of like minds. I don’t want fame (though I do look at my stats every day, LOL) or money from my blogging. In fact, “wanting” is the polar opposite of my blog’s intention, which is to foster an attitude of gratitude. I know it’s not humanly possible, because we call have wants, but a grateful attitude makes me feel like I have it all.
I think many of us who blog are introverts, most comfortable in small groups. That’s just my observation and might not be right. It was a good thing when I realized that about myself. I’m glad Gail and I are in perfect harmony on that point.
I’m glad you took a little time off to reflect, settle, and refocus. I’m glad you know who you are, and even more glad that you share it!
Peace, my friend!

On March 29th, 2011, MomZombie said:

See? This is why I love your blog so much. I’ve been thinking these very thoughts, along with many of your readers, too. I’ve debated changing from anonymous status, starting another blog, quitting blogging, taking creative writing classes, to going in a whole different direction totally offline. If I look at blogging as a purely personal journey, I’m fine. If I look at it the way my husband does (using stats, traffic, ROI and all that) to measure success, I am a resounding failure. I constantly wonder what my influence (or lack thereof) in the virtual world means in the long run.

On March 29th, 2011, Mad Woman behind the Blog said:

How strange this world of social media is. I too took a weekend (and a little longer) away from blogging. I feel a huge burden has been lifted.
Yes, I’m dying to write and want to write with quality, integrity and authenticity. But this mini vaca opened my eyes to the life in the real world I’m missing. Thus: a bathtime tea party, honest convo w/ DH, a cleaner house and a less-anxious me.

And BTW, your tweets tonight: swift kick in my knee to subscribe by email….DONE!

On March 30th, 2011, San Diego Momma said:

I loved reading your comments. Good to know I’m not alone in feeling this way!

On March 31st, 2011, Jennifer said:

Everyone should take a break from cyberspace on a regular basis. Remembering what it’s like to live and be interested in your own life
is essential. You always write such great posts and I never doubt that they aren’t authentic.

On April 8th, 2011, unfinishedperson said:

My favorite bloggers are those who bare their souls for all to see and who are seeking to interact authentically. With this post, you just might be in that category.

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