May 10th, 2010
A soft-bodied marine animal without a backbone.
Slightly adjunct to last week’s post is that Toots had a jellyfish report due today. An oral report. Of facts she had to memorize. Accompanied by a poster board of pictures she drew to illustrate her supporting points. Points like jellyfish lifecycles and animal classification.
She is in kindergarten.
Actually, if I may be non-snarky for just a *brief* moment, I do like that she is challenged at school. I think it’s cool that she’s already learning how to write a thesis and stuff, but this oral report led to all kinds of sticky wickets. For instance…
How to explain to a six-year-old “asexual reproduction?” Or better, “sexual reproduction,” and that “fertilized eggs” aren’t chicken eggs covered with poop? Then there were words like “polyp,” which is a term I associate with cancerous colon growths, and “soft-bodied marine animal,” which just sounded weird. Like the word “moist.” Which to me, is just a gross word.
Better yet, The Rock and I kept disagreeing over what certain words meant, which only added to Toots’ confusion. Like “invertebrate.” A word I KNOW means “without a backbone,” but The Rock insisted it meant “without a skeleton.” Then the word “marine,” which is “from the ocean,” but someone insisted it was “from the water.” I swear, if Toots gets to college, it will all be thanks to me. (THIS IS AN INFLAMMATORY STATEMENT DESIGNED TO PUSH THE ROCK’S BUTTONS.) (BECAUSE THIS IS MY BLOG AND I CAN FLAP MY GUMS WITHOUT ANY BACKTALK.) (UNTIL TONIGHT, AFTER THE ROCK READS THIS AND I HEAR, “San Diego Mommason McLiar Diane TeasyPants!” YELLED FROM THE UPSTAIRS OFFICE.) (THEN THE INFLAMMATORY STATEMENT WILL PROBABLY BE REDACTED.)
Where was I?
Oh yeah, did you know that jellyfish are the world’s largest plankton? And who better to represent a “plankton,” then the one-celled organism from SpongeBob? That’s what Toots thought too, so she faithfully rendered the cartoon onto her poster board to illustrate that interesting jellyfish-plankton fact.
I’m pretty sure it’s a matter of time before Toot’s teacher asks me to remove myself from involvement in my daughter’s learning process.