March 17th, 2010
I’ve been online too much. Too too much. There’s the Twitter and the Facebook and the blog and the other people’s blogs and the Skype and the email and the other email. I think in terms of “can I blog this” and when my mind is blank of post fodder, I wallow in existential misery. Oh! And my mood is dictated by comments and wondering if people like me and if I’m in “the circle” and holy crap! It’s gotta stop. But the blog conferences! Should I go here or there? Or over to that one? WHAT ABOUT THAT OTHER ONE? Will people forget me if I don’t post for several days? Do they EVEN CARE?
I got it bad.
The problem? I am insecure.
Sometimes I reflect that blogging isn’t for the insecure.
Because the insecure only get more insecure.
I would like to stop using the word “insecure” now.
Unless you don’t want me to?
TELL ME WHAT YOU WANT!
My whole problem is that I need external validation. It’s like a drug. The kind of drug that wears off after four hours and you need another teaspoonful at regular intervals. Then before you know it, you’re visiting opium dens for your next fix. And you think…but my habit just started with Children’s Tylenol. Really? Now I’m shooting opium? There’s never enough validation for the insecure is my medicinal point that makes no sense whatsoever.
So while I work on bringing the locus of my validation inside (I just made that up) (opium. such a wily drug.), I wanted to share something helpful with those of you who might be online too much too.
WHAT TO TELL YOUR HUSBAND WHEN HE THINKS YOU’RE SPENDING TOO MUCH TIME ONLINE
1. I’m going to make money off this blog someday and you can retire and stay home with the kids while I traipse around the country promoting my new book comprised entirely of random opium blog posts.
2. I’m not online. I’m working.
3. There is no #3. I’ve found that only #1 and #2 are effective.