November 12th, 2009
Seems I’ve been outed. Not gonna say by who, but her name rhymes with this link. It took me by surprise too, until I was called into the living room last night (unceremoniously I might add) and asked to explain my blog to a room full of woman who know me only as Toots’ mom.
And they don’t even know me well yet. We have kids in the same elementary school, but to them, I’m just a naturally beautiful fashionista with peaches and cream skin that they can’t believe has had two children, what with my svelte frame and all. So how do I explain my “other” life? The one I live almost entirely online? I felt like I should rip my blouse off and show my “SDM” t-shirt underneath.
Turns out I mumbled something along the lines of “aimless,” and “just this thing I do,” and “hey! free food!” I don’t know why, I mean I blog publicly for goodness gracious sake, but there’s something about having people I see every day know that I suffer from subarachnoid hematomas and pragmatically inappropriate syndrome and possibly Epstein Barr (girls! I’m a hypochondriac) and am bombarded with hot flashes and uncomfortable moisture in my secret places (and I’m perimenopausal!) and I like poo humor (I have Bobby Brady brain!) that makes me self conscious.
I mean I have enough trouble keeping people who know and love me around, what’s going to happen when women I’ve known for all of three months read my deepest darkest? Not helping matters was that last night I was an absent-minded maniac who kept starting sentences and not finishing them, who misplaced four 1′ x 1′ serving platters and spent the whole party blaming a ghost (that story in Part 2 of my insightful essential oil party coverage), and stared meaningfully into one guest’s eyes and said “I SO appreciate you being here.” Which I did, but over-emote much?
I’m used to being odd in person. It happens all the time. But odd online?
Well, I guess I’m no stranger to that either.
Did anyone else out there get outed recently?