Toots for President!



Happy birthday to my dear little Toots, who turns 5 today. I’ve got so much to say, but I’ll start with:


Oh my Lord, 5 already?! This leaves me precious little time to help you grow into a secure, confident, empathetic, contributing and contented member of society.

Wait. Did I say “member of society?” Just so you know, it’s not all that important that you be a member of anything — other than of the world — and I’d much rather you develop into an independent-thinking individual who marches to the beat of her own drum (as long as that drum is not sociopathic or prone to serial dismemberment).


Everyday, I see bits of me woven into your personality, and I wouldn’t be your mom if I didn’t say this gives me pause. I’ve spent years worrying about what other people think, with being insecure, and cautious about going forth into this world, and I do not want that for you. Still, you can have my curiousity, and my eccentricity, and my sensitivity. As for your dad, well, I think Booger got all his genes, but please God please, absorb your dad’s money management skills. And patience with the overdramatic, moody, Chicken Littles of the world. (Not that I’d know anything about that.)


The other day, my heart split when you opened our second floor sliding glass door and shouted out to Paula, our florist neighbor, “Can I help you?” You love decorating and arranging and art and colors and aesthetics and nothing would please you more than to spend time in Paula’s garage composing floral bouquets. But when Paula replied that she was done for the day, you said “Thank you,” all staccato and short-like and then slammed the door. In an instant you were by my side with tears in your eyes, and when I said I was sure Paula would love for you to help her tomorrow, you pleaded, “Will you ask her? I don’t want her to see me cry.” Right then I nearly hugged you to death. My lovely, fragile little Tootsie.


So anyway. Here’s the deal. I’m going to stop nagging and yelling so much, and begin laughing more when you tell me that drooping flowers have “fainted.” And I’ll make a sincere attempt to be a mom who makes you proud and does her best to help you to bloom, and you? well you just make good on your promise to be a scientist or party planner and live next to me forever.


P.S. We celebrated Toots’ birthday with a party on Sunday, and I’d like to publicly thank Mel, who wiped counters, disposed of trash, and ensured I didn’t set anyone on fire, while I spent an inordinate amount of time trying to figure out how to make salt stick to the rim of my plastic margarita glass.


19 Responses to “Toots for President!”

  1. Happy Birthday! I wish that I was there to join in the celebration – I love margaritas!

  2. Blognut says:

    Happy Birthday Toots! And Deb, just carry the salt around in your hand and give it a lick from time to time.

  3. stoneskin says:

    If my neighbour was a florist I certainly wouldn’t offer to help her…

    Sounds like you’re a great mum, but if I were you I’d keep here away from the artsy theatre for a couple of years!

  4. Diane says:

    Oh, this made me cry (and laugh a bit). She sounds a bit like my daughter (who has been taking contracts for ‘room designs’ from her friends and teachers and drawing them up, per spec, from the room design kit she got for Xmas!). I have always wanted her to march to her own beat and now that she does, I worry that she’ll be too different to fit in at all and that she won’t find good friends who understand her… then I slap myself and holler, “Get a grip, Diane! Geeez!” and I realize that she’ll be OK. She’d better be. Damn it.

    Does this whole mother thing get easier?

  5. Eden says:

    OMG — she looks exACTly like a little girl in Zoe’s class. If I get the class photo scanned in, Ill show you.

    This is a sweet entry ;)

  6. She is adorable, and it sounds like her heart is filled with amazing. Amen on that money management thing, btw. I seriously think my kids may be screwed where that’s concerned!

  7. Kristi says:

    Happy Birthday! She is so cute! And congrats Mama!

  8. She’s darling! Sigh … I miss having a LITTLE girl … mine is a teen!

  9. tinsenpup says:

    Happy Birthday, Toots! You clearly have a beautiful soul.

  10. Happy Birthday! Drama Kid had a nice time at the party. He’s been playing with his toys and the goo (which is returning to its original state! What do I do? Can it be re-good? I’ll have to throw it away when he’s looking). No public thanks were necessary. I told you, I can’t help myself, it’s in my nature! ;D

  11. Happy Birthday to both of you. Maybe you were meant to be her mother so you could be the one that understands her best.

  12. She says:


    Beautiful post. Beautiful you!

  13. Steph says:


  14. Mama Mary says:

    Oh what a great ending…live next to me forever. I love that. And I love friends that enable my drinking at my parties.

  15. Happy Birthday, Pretty Toots! What a lovely tribute to a precious little girl. Lucky Toots, lucky Mama!

  16. ilinap says:

    Happy Birthday, Toots! While you don’t need to be a member of anything, you are welcome to be a member of my family in say, 25 years. I have a 5 1/2 year old son who would make a great First Gentleman to your Madame President. And then your mom and I could totally whip up margaritas in the White House kitchen.

  17. Jessica says:

    she is beyond adorable. Number one. Number two. who wrote the song on your blog today I want to download it. Three: I feel so much like I am such a terrible example to my kid. I pray she has my ex husband’s patience but my drive. I too want nothing more than for her to live her life fearless and comfortable with who she is and also not of the serial killer “fearless”.

  18. Da Goddess says:

    A very belated happy birthday to Toots. I’d like to offer her a couple hours of fairy princess ballerina tea party time (as if that makes any sense at all) and photograph it all. Let me know, Deb. Sunday, March 8 is booked with a shoot down at the Children’s Museum (hint hint hint), but there are plenty of other days open. In fact, if the girls want to play during the week, we could do that, too.

Leave a Reply for Diane