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PROMPTuesday #39: The Interview

January 19th, 2009

This week, let’s do something fun! And fakeducational! Or loopy! Depending.

 

My friend Kizz inspired this PROMPTuesday, even busy as she is working her way through all the PROMPTuesdays of yore.

 

So Kizz’s idea was to do something funny. And THAT came to her as she watched Inside the Actor’s Studio with Ricky Gervais. Now put it all together and you get: Conduct a pretend interview with someone. It could be with your dog, a box of rain, zombies, your kid, Ricky Gervais, Brad Pitt, an Idaho potato, your alter ego, Hilary Clinton, Lysol Deodorizing Spray, your CD collection, ring around the collar, the Border Patrol, the weather, the Village Idiot, Puritans, a favorite blogger, Hannah Montana, Bozo the Clown, Fiestaware, what-have-you.

 

But first, if you’re new here, read a bit about PROMPTuesdays here.

 

Meanwhile, if you care to observe PROMPTuesday’s rules, here they are:

 

  • Try to write your entry in 10 minutes. This encourages top-of-mind, primal thinking before the ego and judgmental brain kick in. Just set a timer, make your kid count to 600 slowly, whatever. It’s an honor system. And I trust you.
  • Aim for 250 words or less.
  • Please have fun. Don’t put pressure on yourself. Together, let’s rediscover the simple joy in the writing process.
  • Post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.

 

Wanna catch up on the PROMPTuesdays archive? It’s here.

 

« « Finding the Balance    |    The Interview » »

On January 19th, 2009, PROMPTuesday #39 - Interview with an Oreo Shake | KristiBug said:

[…] I decided to just DO IT.  I need to work on my writing and darn it, here I go.  This week is PROMPTuesday #39, The Interview and well… I had a nice little chat with Ruby’s Oreo […]

On January 19th, 2009, KristiBug said:

What an awesome idea :) I just went for it. But obviously I need sleep. Yikes.

http://www.kristibug.com/2009/01/promptuesday-39-interview-oreo-shake/

On January 20th, 2009, stoneskin said:

I WILL do this, just not now as it’s my bed time. Keep a look out for later posts.

On January 20th, 2009, wa said:

Oooh, a challenge. I’m gonna have to think about this one for a bit.

On January 20th, 2009, Blognut said:

I took time out from the inaugural news coverage and the interview is finally up at More Mindless Rambling.

http://blognut-moremindlessrambling.blogspot.com/2009/01/promptuesday-39-interview-with-sexy.html

On January 21st, 2009, g said:

I forgot all about Promptuesday what with the 3 day weekend and the inaugural and all. Sorry!

On January 21st, 2009, Tony said:

Kim on Kim: by Dan Rather
Pyongyang, North Korea – In this ultra-modern city with a dubious official population of over three million, something is lacking. Readily evident are the vast avenues, soaring glass towers and imposing edifices of official power. But absent is the ordinary hustle and bustle of a capitol city. Pyongyang is more movie set than metropolis. Its very opulence belies the emptiness of its corridors and the eerie silence of its atmosphere. One feels, perhaps correctly, that the city is built entirely of pretense.
We arrived here via a direct flight from Beijing and were met on the tarmack at the crumbling Pyongyang airport by several officials in modest black suits. Ours was the only aircraft visible. The officials hurriedly whisked us away and into the heart of the city. I doubt we passed a dozen cars over the ten-mile course of our trip. We were delivered by way of a guarded rear entrance to the unmarked government building where we would meet the omnipotent leader of this strange land.

I was prepared to be confused. Kim Jong-il did not disappoint me.

Dan Rather: Sir, you hold three official government titles – Supreme Commander of the Korean People’s Army, General Secretary of the Workers’ Party of Korea, and Chairman of the National Defense Commission of the Democratic People’s Republic of Korea. How does one address you?

Kim Jong-il: Call me “Mr. Chairman.”

DR: Very well. Mr. Chairman, you are known to the West principally for your willingness to rattle your saber in the face of what would appear to be superior opposition. To be direct, yours is a frightening character on the world stage. Is this an accurate perception of your disposition toward advanced nations?

KJi: You are one of those reporters who enjoys waxing eloquent in your questioning. You probably do this out of a combination of vanity and insecurity in order to make yourself seem more erudite than your interview subjects, don’t you?

DR: Actually, Mr. Chairman, I have never thought about it, but I think you are probably correct.

KJi: Well you, sir, are in my house now. So knock it off.

DR: Yes, Mr. Chairman. I will re-phrase the question. Are you really the scary little monster that everyone in the world but you thinks that you are?

KJi: I am the son and heir of Kim Il-sung, the founder of this great nation, who wrested its independence from raiders to the north and imperialists to the south. Kim Il-sung was a peerlessly great man and so am I. I should mention that I can also play the violin.

DR: Yes, Mr. Chairman. But your country is essentially severed from the rest of the world. You have virtually no exports, your natural resources are said to be almost fully depleted and the reports we get are that the majority of your people are battling starvation.

KJi: Is there a question in there?

DR: No, Mr. Chairman, I was editorializing again. Here’s a question? What’s up with your hair?

KJi: The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea will not be bullied by the Imperial United States and its war-mongering dictator, Emperor Bush. Kim Jong-il is not some Tony Blair, good-haired, running-dog, jack-booted capitalist lackey.

DR: Mr. Chairman, under what circumstances would you consider using your alleged arsenal of nuclear weapons?

KJi: Kim Jonng-il is a peerlessly great man. Kim Jong-il has nuclear weapons. Kim Jong-il can play the violin. Kim Jong-il will do what Kim Jong-il wants and he will not warn anyone in advance. Kim Jong-il’s fiat is sufficient reason unto itself to do whatever Kim Jong-il determines is in the best interest of Kim Jong-il’s people.

DR: I’m sorry, Mr. Chairman. Do you wish to speak of yourself in the third person for the remainder of this interview?

KJi: I did not realize I was doing that again. Kim Jong-il apologizes. Would American journalist like to hear a joke?

DR: Very well, Mr. Chairman.

KJi: How do you get a North Korean girl pregnant?

DR: I don’t know. How?

KJi: You fuck her. [laughs]

DR: Mr. Chairman, despite your posturing, there are those who speculate that you are actually intent on reaching out to the West, particularly to its tourist market, to shore up your nearly terminal economy. Is that so?

KJi: The Democratic People’s Republic has no intention of inviting the imperialist hordes to come to Pyongyang and spend copious amounts of tainted capitalist currency on its many fine dining establishments and bordellos.

DR: Then why, Mr. Chairman, has your Ministry of Information tried to purchase advertising during half-time of Super Bowl XLIII to promote your “Life’s Great North of the Thirty-Eight” campaign?

KJi: The Democratic People’s Republic of Korea has nuclear weapons.

DR: Mr. Chairman . . .

KJi: Call me “His Royal Illness.”

DR: I’m sorry, sir. I don’t think I can do that.

KJi: Then call me “The Kimshee.”

DR: I really prefer to stick with “Mr. Chairman,” sir.

KJi: Spoil sport.

DR: Mr. Chairman, I had hoped to use this interview to paint a clearer portrait of you for the American viewer. It was my intention to dig down to the geopolitical roots of the hedge that has grown up to separate our two people and to . . .

KJi: You’re getting a little wordy again.

DR: I’m sorry, Mr. Chairman. What I meant was . . . [an aide enters the room and whispers something into the Chairman’s ear]

KJi: Kim Jong-il is very sorry, but this interview is over. Time for Oprah.

On January 21st, 2009, Me said:

If only it were that easy.

On January 22nd, 2009, Me said:

Oopsie daisy! It’s up now.

On January 23rd, 2009, jessica said:

I just love this idea. love it. i will be posting it tomorrow on my blog and leaving a link on the post to your blog here. Is that what you meant in the rules about the linky thingy?

On January 24th, 2009, Shana said:

someday I will grow a pair and jump into a prompt tuesday. maybe.

On January 27th, 2009, DaGoddess.com » PROMPTuesday #39 & #40 - Two, Two! Two for the Price of One said:

[…] week, Deb wanted us to conduct an interview, real or imagined. This week we have to tell about our first job. I’m not sure if I should talk about […]

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