January 17th, 2009
Macs are supposed to be wonderful, right? So can someone tell me why I’ve spent more on my 18-month-old MacBook Pro than if I’d bought four PCs? And can that same person tell me why my freaking track pad and keyboard are stuck and don’t work for nothin’ and why I’m contorted on my bed trying to write with a plugged-in mouse with its 5″ cord that must be making contact with my bedside table at all times or my laptop freezes? And while you’re at it, why was this Mighty Mouse made by Apple $50? Furthermore, are Macs really alien pods that use artificial intelligence to type and delete on their own, as you, the human user, sits there and scratches her head while strange symbols appear on your screen? Of their own accord. You don’t even have a mind of your own. So why does your Mac?
In addition, why are there 89 employees in the Apple store at your beck and call when you are considering spending money on something new, but those same people act like someone farted when you need help with an existing purchase?
Did Apple spend all its money on snazzy marketing and Justin Long’s salary and forget to send its employees to “Act Like You Give a Shit” training?
I thought Macs were designed for ease of use and durability? So why do I have one leg on the floor balancing my laptop on my knee and the other leg acting like a bridge to my nightstand, upon which my Mighty fucking Mouse is teetering, while I cobble this post together with ass sweat and a prayer?