March 9th, 2008
Tons of fun here today in DementoVille. My kids imagine the most wonderful and mystical things, usually while perpetrating acts of random violence.
I think I know what happened to our cat.
Anyway! Come join me for a tour of the enchanting and phantasmagorical! Hop aboard the freak train! Everyone on? And away we go!
This is the bewitching and coveted Ring of Tam Tam. It is lovely, no? But beware! It is currently floating midstream down the River of Blood, resisting efforts by the Good People of the Land to find it so they can perform a Happy Spell that will flip flop its Powers of Evil and make them Powers of Laughing, which the Good People will use for what else? Good, and everyone will live Happily Ever After Somewhere Over the Rainbow.
Oh no! In their search for the Ring of Tam Tam, the Good People of the Land encountered a time warp, where Siberian tigers and prehistoric dinosaurs join in an Axis of Evil to terrorize and sublimate All Living Things. This can’t be good.
…as Molly Malone just realized.
It’s rough out there on the Triassic Savannah. The kids don’t recommend it as a stop on the time-space continuum.
And lo! What’s this? The legendary monster, Spoorie, terrorized this humble abode in his search for information on the Ring of Tam Tam. That poor poor Good Person of the Land. And her baby, who Spoorie put in the oven. But wait! Isn’t that Good Person a baby, too? The broken back and crushed skull make it hard to tell.
Finally! Some good luck. Cinderella’s slipper, which as everyone knows, is Happy and Magical, will show the Good People of the Land where The Ring of Tam Tam is, and maybe, on the way, they can make a pit stop at Big Rock Candy Mountain. The Good People would enjoy that.
Oh geez no. Pickles! Spoorie is on a killing spree! The Ring of Tam Tam will have to wait. The remaining Good People of the Land must go door to door and warn all redheads that they’re on Spoorie’s hit list. And he means business!
Just ask that oven baby.
To be continued….