February 27th, 2008
Today did not go down easy.
My exposed nerves pulsated and twitched and despite all, someone kept scraping them with a callous remover.
Those are the someones above.
Today was the opposite of a sensory deprivation tank. Rather, it was an IMAX theater of scrambling kids falling off beds, crawling onto my lap, jumping on tables, somersaulting over pillows, hiding in closets, throwing shoes, grabbing markers, opening drawers and soiling diapers.
And the omni-sound effects. The Lord in his heaven. Screaming and yelling and laughing and crying and whining and fighting and asking and refusing and spitting and shrieking and singing and moaning and whimpering and slamming and coughing.
Sometimes I wonder if I were cut out for motherhood. I tend to prefer noise on my own terms, not creeping up on you from under the table holding a half-eaten crayon. I scare easily, I’m high-strung and reactive. Not “pros” in the motherhood column.
Today was hard.
So was yesterday.
Booger, living up to the name.