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Kitchen Sink

New Year’s Revelation

January 6th, 2008

When’s the first time you realized you had a lot of growing up to do?Not in the way of ceasing goofiness, or quitting looking for earthworms after a rain, or not sticking your finger in your husband’s butt as he walks up the stairs, but rather, seeing that your old ways aren’t working for you? That perhaps your stubbornness serves no real purpose when used to hold onto an argument you just “have” to win, or seeing that what your emotions tell you isn’t necessarily the truth, and that because you “feel” it, doesn’t make it so.I’ve been the master of looking past the mirror and blaming someone else for a botched relationship, misunderstanding, poor communication, what-have-you, and I see that I’m often the perpetrator myself. Or, I put the onus for being all I can be on someone or something else. I’ve got a lot of excuses, people. This portends good things. Like being the master of my own domain. If my self-awareness grows, keeping pace with my desire to change, there’s a lot of positive on the horizon. Here are some of the things I’ve been blessed to see about myself in the last six months:

  • I would rather talk about doing something, then actually do it.
  • My fear of failure is profound. This has kept me from finishing my book, posting regular blog entries and worst of all — trusting (and developing) my voice.
  • I judge. Then, I blame others for being judgmental.
  • I find something wrong with everything.

 

I’m not stopping there. Here’s what I’m going to do about the above:

  • Just DO IT! How can I appreciate success (or reach success) if I don’t fail first?
  • Trust. Then just DO IT!
  • Remain open.
  • Count my blessings. Give gratitude.

This is the closest to a New Year’s resolution as I’m going to get. Here I go…

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