Just a representative example of what my Christmas dinner will not look like.
But just for fun, let’s mentally re-arrange it to look San Diego Mommish.
All right. Take away the turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce; knock over a Christmas candle, and place the wine in the center of the table.
There you go.
Ah, Thanksgiving. A well-loved holiday that for me, means not cooking a darn thing. That’s because every year, I go to my mother-in-law’s for all the classics I could not make myself even if I tried with all the try I have. Washing the dishes afterwards seems like a fair and amenable trade, even if I do grumble at The Rock to “get off his monkey butt and help.”
I’m a real charmer.
Like with most everything else, I did try once to cook Thanksgiving dinner, only to discover after about 15 minutes of turkey oven entrance, my oven was 200 DEGREES hotter than it was supposed to be. I noticed this important fact after the turkey skin nearly charred off and I sent The Rock to the store for an oven thermometer. So after disengaging every barking smoke detector in my home, I lowered the temp to 125 and we all had a curious Thanksgiving dinner of hot and cold turkey parts. Again, charmer.
All this trying of mine leads many people to try to save me from myself. So the year of the raw-overdone turkey, my mother-in-law gave me a roasting pan, gravy boat, and assorted serving dishes for Christmas. All of which STILL languish partially wrapped in the guest room closet.
THIS year, grocery co-op Golden Share Foods (whom I have written about here and here) gifted me with a Thanksgiving meal package, consisting of a turkey and other stuff, which I hope to God they didn’t think I was going to cook myself.
And so I didn’t. I took it all to my mother-in-law’s and she did it up nice like she always does. (She was a bit freaked by the 16.84 pound turkey, which looked like a hot buttered baby, but she recovered nicely.)
All of this is to say that I now have a December holiday meal package to give away, courtesy of Golden Share Foods. (“Give away” being the operative phrase. I am not cookin’ nothin’ myself, no way, no how. The whole delicate balance of the Earth’s ecosystem rests on this primary principle.)
But for YOU: This spectacular giveaway (feeding 6 people very well) consists of the following for your holiday cooking pleasure:
(1) 7-9 lbs. Spiral Cut Honey Ham w/ Glaze Packet
1 ea. Fresh Celery Sleeved
1 bag Fresh Yukon Gold Potatoes
1 can Pineapple Chunks in Natural Juice
3 lbs. Fresh Sweet Potatoes
1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
3 lbs. Fresh Apples
1 can Apple Sauce
2 lbs. Fresh Onions
1 doz. Dinner Rolls
1 lb. Fresh Green Beans
1 Whole Pumpkin Pie (10 inch/40 oz.)
And if I may? Even if you don’t need this food for yourself…I believe we all probably know someone who does…be it a local charity, family in need, or people working on the holiday and unable to enjoy a Christmas meal at home. So if you enter the giveaway with the intention of paying it forward and gifting someone else with the holiday package, that’d be pretty cool. You could even “give” it as a present to a family you know who may have fallen on hard times.
Just an idea.
Meanwhile, to enter, here’s what I’d like you do: Kidnap me and send me to cooking school against my will. If the cooking school is in Italy, you get two entries.
Oh all right. Here’s what I’d really like you to do: Please visit Golden Share Foods and find your pickup location (locations are all in Southern California, so this giveaway is open to SoCal residents only) and come back here and tell me what your pickup location is…and if you would, recount a cooking disaster. (That second part is not required, but it would make me feel a whole lot better about myself.)
The fine print? Let’s see…it’s here somewhere…
This giveaway is for those living near the pick-up locations listed here. Winner does need to pick up the holiday package at one of these locations. The giveaway ends Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 2PM (if I’m not in Italy…hint, hint.). Winner will be chosen randomly.
Happy Holidays everyone.
Okay, I don’t even need to go look for my pick up location because I already know…I went last month and LOVED IT! So, I go to the Sonrise church in Santee. I was going to put in my order, but am waiting now to see if I win…does the number 1 commenter EVER win on these things?
Cooking disaster? Well, I work in preschools and one day my cook was out for the day. The children were at the fire station (true story) on a field trip while I was making lunch…hamburgers. Since I have to cook about 36, I put them into the stove. Unbenknownst to me, some of the grease from the burgers dropped out of the pan started a fire. Yep, extinguisher was used and all as the children were coming BACK from the trip…I just thought I would round out the field trip experience for them.
Is that embarrasing enough to win?
Ok, it’s not right next door but I could easily make it to the Poway pick up location.
Cooking disaster? That had to be the Thanksgiving I was pregnant and tried to boycott but got suckered into hosting anyway. (I wanted to splurge on lobster and eat it on the beach, but noooooo…)
Well, over my objections, my family arrived from out of town, including a vegetarian which means I also needed to cook salmon. The turkey was practically raw, the salmon never made it into the broiler, and everyone complained, including the fact that all I had was decaf coffee. After that, I was off the hook for a few years. Happily I am better at it now, but back then, look out!
Okay, I could pick up @ St. Andrews Lutheran on Lake Murray, which is closeby me.
COOKING DISASTER: Weeeelllll…. I was trying, yes TRYING to impress my new boyfriend (back in 1993) and he wanted me to make him FRIED CHICKEN. So, I prepared the chicken as I knew how~I took the skin off and ran all the pieces under water to remove all the nasty little pockets of yellow fat. THEN, I filled the deep fryer up with grease, let it get good and hot and started dunking the SKINLESS chicken piecs into the grease. So as they all were awaiting this chicken, the fryer began smelling very disgusting, as the chicken was burning, not cooking and became hard as rocks! All the embarassment also caused me to burn the fries in the oven…needless to say, the man and the friend were NOT impressed…and headed to Jack in The Box! LOL!!
Poway would be perfect!!
Oh my gosh– cooking disaster– well I used salt instead of sugar for some pretzels I was making– lets just say they were a tad salty–yuck.
No entry for me–but I cooked a 17-lb. turkey this year and I can’t remember ever making one that small.
Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Clairmont is the closest distribution center to me.
I am a professional guest at the holidays. I don’t cook much.
My first and only attempt at cooking a Thanksgiving turkey started with my refusal to put my hand in the turkey to remove the giblets. A neighbor had to come over and do it. I was young and everyone was very kind when the beautifully browned yet bloody turkey was served.
My cooking disaster – I mistakenly used Bisquick in place of flower for brownies. These rock-hard brownies made a lovely dong-donngg-donnggg church-like bell sound while hitting the bottom of the empty dumpster.
These brownies were being made due to experimentation with an herb-like substance. I had never laughed so hard.
The wine in the centre? Why not just put it in your place?
;)
Mt. Olive Church of God in Christ. A couple years ago I made Thanksgiving dinner with friends. Everything had turned out perfect until my friend washed some dishes over my lovely bowl of gravy that was sitting in the sink waiting to be transferred into a decorative dish. Obviously this resulted in overly soapy but not too salty gravy. I think we skimmed off the bubbles and ate it anyway.
I would like to win a ham, although I’m not sure if I should eat it since I’m probably going to be converting to Judaism. You know, so that the Lambert babies aren’t confused by having a Christian mom and Jewish dad.
Cooking for a large group is always stressful. But ham is soooo easy compared to turkey–no gravy needed!
i made my best turkey ever this year. the sailor bought us a 23 pound turkey. i have no idea why. we ate about 2 1/2 pounds of it. so we’re going to have to eat the leftovers for christmas unless we win this. location is mira mesa Holy Hands Church of God in Christ which i think might be the church with the vomiting lamb in front.
cooking disaster. heh. as if there’s not a minor disaster in every single thing i do?
Sounds like a great giveaway. Too bad it isn’t open to Northern California residents like me. :( Oh and to answer your question about my giveaway, I think that 1-800-BASKETS does have wine baskets.
North SD is my p-u spot (that doesn’t sound right).
My cooking disaster involves effing up RICE in a RICE cooker for my ASIAN hubby when I tried to cook a meal for him for the first time in our courting days. I forgot to switch it from “warm” to “cook”. I’m really surprised he married me!
Hey Cascia!
Google grocery co-op in NorCal – should be able to find a sister program to Golden SHARE.
Another option is to google SHARE – the program that started it all and see if there is one near you.
Charity
My pick up location is the Escondido Share. I was looking up their stuff just this morning, since I am not sure where the money to feed us is going to come from this month. So winning this would be perfect (and it’s just down the street).
Haven’t had any food catastrophes in years, sorry I can’t recall any good ones.