Just a representative example of what my Christmas dinner will not look like.
But just for fun, let’s mentally re-arrange it to look San Diego Mommish.
All right. Take away the turkey, gravy, and cranberry sauce; knock over a Christmas candle, and place the wine in the center of the table.
There you go.
Ah, Thanksgiving. A well-loved holiday that for me, means not cooking a darn thing. That’s because every year, I go to my mother-in-law’s for all the classics I could not make myself even if I tried with all the try I have. Washing the dishes afterwards seems like a fair and amenable trade, even if I do grumble at The Rock to “get off his monkey butt and help.”
I’m a real charmer.
Like with most everything else, I did try once to cook Thanksgiving dinner, only to discover after about 15 minutes of turkey oven entrance, my oven was 200 DEGREES hotter than it was supposed to be. I noticed this important fact after the turkey skin nearly charred off and I sent The Rock to the store for an oven thermometer. So after disengaging every barking smoke detector in my home, I lowered the temp to 125 and we all had a curious Thanksgiving dinner of hot and cold turkey parts. Again, charmer.
All this trying of mine leads many people to try to save me from myself. So the year of the raw-overdone turkey, my mother-in-law gave me a roasting pan, gravy boat, and assorted serving dishes for Christmas. All of which STILL languish partially wrapped in the guest room closet.
THIS year, grocery co-op Golden Share Foods (whom I have written about here and here) gifted me with a Thanksgiving meal package, consisting of a turkey and other stuff, which I hope to God they didn’t think I was going to cook myself.
And so I didn’t. I took it all to my mother-in-law’s and she did it up nice like she always does. (She was a bit freaked by the 16.84 pound turkey, which looked like a hot buttered baby, but she recovered nicely.)
All of this is to say that I now have a December holiday meal package to give away, courtesy of Golden Share Foods. (“Give away” being the operative phrase. I am not cookin’ nothin’ myself, no way, no how. The whole delicate balance of the Earth’s ecosystem rests on this primary principle.)
But for YOU: This spectacular giveaway (feeding 6 people very well) consists of the following for your holiday cooking pleasure:
(1) 7-9 lbs. Spiral Cut Honey Ham w/ Glaze Packet
1 ea. Fresh Celery Sleeved
1 bag Fresh Yukon Gold Potatoes
1 can Pineapple Chunks in Natural Juice
3 lbs. Fresh Sweet Potatoes
1 can Cream of Mushroom Soup
3 lbs. Fresh Apples
1 can Apple Sauce
2 lbs. Fresh Onions
1 doz. Dinner Rolls
1 lb. Fresh Green Beans
1 Whole Pumpkin Pie (10 inch/40 oz.)
And if I may? Even if you don’t need this food for yourself…I believe we all probably know someone who does…be it a local charity, family in need, or people working on the holiday and unable to enjoy a Christmas meal at home. So if you enter the giveaway with the intention of paying it forward and gifting someone else with the holiday package, that’d be pretty cool. You could even “give” it as a present to a family you know who may have fallen on hard times.
Just an idea.
Meanwhile, to enter, here’s what I’d like you do: Kidnap me and send me to cooking school against my will. If the cooking school is in Italy, you get two entries.
Oh all right. Here’s what I’d really like you to do: Please visit Golden Share Foods and find your pickup location (locations are all in Southern California, so this giveaway is open to SoCal residents only) and come back here and tell me what your pickup location is…and if you would, recount a cooking disaster. (That second part is not required, but it would make me feel a whole lot better about myself.)
The fine print? Let’s see…it’s here somewhere…
This giveaway is for those living near the pick-up locations listed here. Winner does need to pick up the holiday package at one of these locations. The giveaway ends Sunday, December 6, 2009 at 2PM (if I’m not in Italy…hint, hint.). Winner will be chosen randomly.
Happy Holidays everyone.