You know that game “I Never?” I’m the absolute worst at it. Mainly because I’ve never done anything outlandish or too illegal or controversial. I avoid the game at all costs without fail, because at the ripe old age of 41, I still end up looking like a lame Puritan. It’s embarrassing.
I mean, I never even did drugs (unless you count marijuana, which is really more of an herb, right?) (and even THAT I smoked haphazardly, infrequently and peer pressuredly), so I have no fodder for juicy I Nevers, although I suppose I can hope. I’ve still got a few good saucy years ahead of me. Maybe I’ll ride a horse naked through the town square or something. (Note to self: grow hair long.)
With that in mind, here’s a twist on that old I Never game…
What are the three nevers of your life?
I know that if you’re my dad and you’re reading this, you’ll say, “Never F*@k with a falcon or you’ll get a fistful of feathers” — his favorite advice to give, which makes no sense to me. But hopefully, you are not my dad. His I Nevers would scare the living beejeez out of me, I’m quite sure.
SO…once again: what are the nevers of your life?
Please post your submission in the comments OR post in your blog and leave a link to your blog in the comments.
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Well, I may in the same boat as you. My “I Nevers” are too embarrassing to mention in public and not at all scandalous like “I never had sex on the Super Duper Looper.”
I never want to make my kids like my mom made me feel.
I never want to get divorced.
I never want to say “never” about doing anything positive.
Never think you know everything.
Never assume you know someone.
Never smile at a crocodile.
Never ask a woman, “When are you do?”
Never ask a love, “That’s it? You’re done?”
Never ask a husband, “Do these pants make my butt look big?”
And a fourth one… never say “do” when you mean “due.” D’oh!