WINNER ANNOUNCED TOMORROW!
Oh OK, I’ll do it now, but make it official tomorrow. It’s Auds! Which is cool, because I think she is my exact undisclosed age!
“Suppleness” is a disconcerting word that reminds me of those gel nipple shields I wore while breastfeeding, but I thought it’d grab your attention. Because who doesn’t want to be more supple? Other than a jellyfish. And moist. Moist is a gross word. As is creamy. Unfortunately, all the things I’m giving away today are moist and creamy, so looks like I suck at composing effective and inviting giveaway copy.
I have a hard time segueing into these giveaways. It’s weird to just have a post devoted to giving something away. That’s not really my thing. Meandering and schizophrenic posts are more me. I’m a real advertiser’s dream that way. Making it simple to pin down my readership and peg my demographic. What the hell am I talking about here? Advertisers? Ha ha, The Rock! Isn’t that funny? I pretended for a minute that I make money with my blog!
In a nutshell, when I have cool things to share, I feel it’s only right to pass them on, because I know how you’d all enjoy them.
So hopefully Avon will not read this before someone wins, because they might revoke my giveawayer status due to meandering and schizophrenia, which would be crazy discrimination, but I would begrudgingly understand their decision. It’s not like I’m the face of Avon.
Oh hi! Are you here for the giveaway?
It’s for a set of ANEW skincare essentials. A set! Meaning at least four things! And depending on the winner’s age, Avon will send you the regimen of products that’s right for you. If you are close to
my undisclosed age, you will receive the exact same products that I did (ANEW Advanced Retexturizing Peel, ANEW Advanced Wrinkle Corrector, ANEW Eye Lift, and ANEW Instant Face Lift). I try not to read too closely into the fact that many of those products said “wrinkle” and “lift.”
And if you’re
bitchy lucky enough to be supple. moist, creamy, and lifted already, then I’m sure Avon’s scientists will be happy to tailor a program more suited to your bitchass skin type.
So to sum up, leave a comment telling me what makes you feel young to win a SET OF AVON ANEW CLINICAL SKINCARE PRODUCTS!
Also, I especially love the retexturizing peel pads. I’m being serious now.
Now I’m not again.
I will select
an old a random winner on Monday, December 8 at 5PM. TIME’S UP!
Note: This giveaway is for everyone, including my normal readers (don’t be shy, Steph), my abnormal readers, and strange people I’ve never met before. Also, this giveaway is for you. Yes, you.