My throat hurts, my kids yell, my head aches, my nose swells, my eyes burn, my uterus thickens.
Also, I’m tired. In addition, I planned a Mom’s Night Out for my mommy group at a local wine bar and I’m not company-worthy or conversational. Thirdly, I didn’t understand Paranormal State on Monday night and Mommy Pie please e-mail me to discuss. (I’d e-mail you but that requires energy and finger-lifting.) Finally, I’m fresh out of fresh.
So then I started thinking of the things I bought in the last six months that I paid too much for, but love and am happy to have and are totally worth it, even if I forsook my mistress, the Goodwill, to take up dalliance with these items.
I know that isn’t a logical transition, but I’d hoped you wouldn’t notice.
Now you did it. You went ahead and noticed.
I will proceed.
I wear these with everything and everywhere. Even inappropriate places like the park and in the bathroom. I wear them with tops that clash and with clothes not designed to go with boots, like knickers. I’ve worn the snot out of these boots.
I noticed them on a birthday shopping spree (courtesy of The Rock), but the $300 price tag seemed out of my league. Until the end of the spree, when $300 not only seemed doable, but preferable, such was the life I was living that day.
But I resisted and went home and looked them up online. Well, Bloomingdales had them on sale for $149 (although they were in the store for $300) and I also had a discount for free shipping, so I got them and I haven’t looked back since. (Until I just went to the Bloomies website and saw that they’re now $88.)
On the same spree, I spotted these gems. I’m a Seven jeans girl because nothing else fits me right. Something about my body type and its short waist, long legs and big rolls. But these jeans work with my figure. So I buy them when I can. These are the metallic “A” pockets and the slight flare at the bottom distracts from the butt. It’s physics. I don’t get it, I just know it works. I usually wear these with the boots. To the park. My life needs enriching.
I really like the “Testament” brand. Their tops drape well and hide things and sport cool details, like burned velvet and eyelet. I splurged on a Testament top last year and it’s my go-to for a casual, yet still slightly dressy outfit. This isn’t the exact top, but rather a convincing replica. Mine is a tealish color with eyelet around the v-neck. They’re a little expensive (for me) at around $80-$100 a pop, but you can find them on sale, usually at Nordstroms or Anthropologie.
I have very oily skin with frequent break-outs. This stuff calms my skin and doesn’t make me pimply. Except now. I told you about the thickening uterus, right? Seriously, I wonder if cleansers made by God and his angels could even handle my PMS acne.
After I turned 35, I started wearing lip gloss instead of lipstick. And this stuff is non-sticky, long-lasting and prettily-colored. (I’m sorry. I just don’t have command of the prose today.)
And to close, I will say that if you like underwear that’s pretty and functional (no pics, sorry, I’ve already got incoming links from a p*rn@ site and someone from Malaysia searching for “sexy old baby,” so yeah), check out Hanky Panky, which makes even thongs eas(ier) to wear and Le Mystere bras, which make you look like a ’50s pin-up. OR, if you’re a San Diego Momma closing in on 40, like an ’80s Madonna.