• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / Mile Marker Number Keep Going

Mile Marker Number Keep Going

Etcetera

I rolled our bikes out of the garage and hoisted them singlehandedly into the back of the Suburban. I’d had quite enough of feeling powerless over parenting my oldest and hoped a joint bike ride would give us a breather and time away, together.

 

Toots had exhausted herself the night before and this morning with raging and crying and threatening. I’d remained calm, barely, as I bumbled my way through knowing what to say, “Your behavior is destructive to this family,” “We need to find a way for you to deal with negative emotions more effectively,” and “I’ll talk to you when you’re done screaming.” But instead of nodding, she burst through the fragile ribbons of responses and raged an hour or more.  I wondered if I could hold on to the barest tether of restraint and then Toots, spent, said, “I’m sorry. How long am I supposed to stay in my room?”

 

I don’t always see what pushes her over the edge. If I did, I’d grab hold of something and pull us both back. I also don’t  recognize when she draws herself back – that fleetingest second before she stands in front of me exhausted and ready to stop fighting. Both take me completely by surprise.

 

It was in that frame of mind that I gathered our bikes. I was quite through with lectures and teaching and not knowing anymore. Of thinking I’ve somehow made a person who is extreme and sensitive and unaccountable. Did I do this? Am I too strict? Too loose? Too unparental?

 

We began the bike ride in silence, like after a war, and just pedaled. The path circled around a lake and I’d hoped the naturalness of it all would claim us into its fold and give perspective: we are dots, we are dots, we are dots.

 

We kept riding and then the mile markers popped up – 1 mile; 1 1/4 mile, 2 miles, 3. I pointed to each numbered wooden stake, and looked for the next. I could make it to the next. We could make it to the next.

 

Sometimes we stopped. Toots grew tired or we needed a water break or a rock got in the way, nearly throwing her from the bike. At one point, one manic bike racer stood me down and kept coming straight at me, refusing to veer to the right or left until I freaked out and and my feet flew off the pedals to stop my bike before he rammed into me. At the very last second, he circled around my immobile bike. I was furious. There was no reason for his unsafe behavior. I told Toots to watch for “people like that” and she told me he probably didn’t know I was there or didn’t mean it or was trying to be funny.

 

So we kept going.

 

Mile marker to mile marker.

 

This is something I’m trying: blog “just one paragraph” a day for 30 days.”

 

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

July 20, 2013 · 3 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « What I’ve Been Reading Lately
Next Post: Life As We Knew It »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. green girl in wisconsin says

    July 21, 2013 at 4:05 pm

    This makes you the best mom.
    sometimes those angsty kids just need fresh air, space, silence and companionship.

    Reply
  2. Cactus Petunia says

    July 21, 2013 at 10:32 pm

    “I’ll talk to you when you’re done screaming” was my favorite. I said it many times raising two teenagers…and they always ended up calming down eventually, even if only because they screamed themselves into laryngitis…oddly enough, they are both now functioning, law abiding, and quiet members of society.

    Reply
    • debawriter says

      July 22, 2013 at 7:58 am

      I like your tale, Cactus.

      Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

sandiegomomma

sandiegomomma
Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years… Circumstance Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years…
Circumstances have changed since post-Prom-picnic-circa-1986-vibes…
#WhereIsBryanAdamsNow
Dorm drop! 🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕 Dorm drop!
🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕
💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫 💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫
Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Monica trip.
And now she knows she doesn’t want to live in LA….
#LifeLessons
It’s happening….. It’s happening…..
Barely tolerating me….. Barely tolerating me…..
Beach day with my “little” one while big sis e Beach day with my “little” one while big sis explores Cal Poly…
Life transitions. Beautiful but I haz the olds.
#NotAboutMe #Whhhhyyyyy
A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDo A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDoesntLikePictures
Sunset squad. Brought a picnic and drinks to Del M Sunset squad.
Brought a picnic and drinks to Del Mar and watched the waves and horizon. Not too crowded or cold - another good hang with the neighborhood gang! ❤️❤️
Imprinting 2021 holidays on my brain (and in my In Imprinting 2021 holidays on my brain (and in my Instagram) (and in my antibodies). It’s a COVID New Year’s Eve…
Husband and I down for the count(down).
BUT. We’re doing decent and it’s cozy up in here…
Winery times! Winery times!
Guys on couch watching football; girls in kitchen Guys on couch watching football; girls in kitchen talking about everything.
Smells like a Sunday neighbor night. ;)
Line dancing lessons… My two left feet did nothi Line dancing lessons…
My two left feet did nothing right - but they did it with gusto.
Looking for a new book to read! #BookClub Despite Looking for a new book to read! #BookClub Despite the seeming divine intervention from above, we weren’t struck with the “perfect” next book to put on our list…..
Post-white-water-rafting super exhaustion. (Oh my Post-white-water-rafting super exhaustion.
(Oh my gosh you guys…! No! I’m not a sports model! But I totally understand how you might think so.) 😜😜😜
I wanted my hair to do that. #NordicSisters I wanted my hair to do that.
#NordicSisters
Dad’s hats on the people who loved/knew/laughed/ Dad’s hats on the people who loved/knew/laughed/sang with him.
Miss you Dad. Hope we do your hats justice. Lord knows we’ll have fun in them, just like you did. 😇
Paso Robles! Wine tasting beauty. It’s stunning Paso Robles! Wine tasting beauty. It’s stunning here. And the landscape is nice too ;).
Found my brother’s old ad copy. Good fun-writing Found my brother’s old ad copy. Good fun-writing inspiration...
Just in case I wasn’t feeling ancient enough, th Just in case I wasn’t feeling ancient enough, the rainbow jumper and white bobby socks oughta do it. No but wait! There’s a bowl cut. Annnnnnnddd giant gold-rimmed specs.
#CentennialFashion
Load More... Follow on Instagram
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT