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San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / Menopause, Take 44!

Menopause, Take 44!

Etcetera

Re-posting because it’s as true now as it was last month. And last year(s). And WHEN WILL IT JUST HAPPEN ALREADY?!

 

10 Signs You’re Approaching Menopause

 

1. Your boobs are 34C, your hips are 3.14 Pi.

 

2. Your upper lip is a Chia Pet.

 

3. Alaska hires your body to melt snow.

 

4. You affectionately refer to your vaginal canal as “The Road to Ishtar.”

 

5. The fluid retained by your stomach could solve California’s water crisis.

 

6. Motherf#ck you dickface!

 

7. Zzzzzzzzzzzz.

 

8. Sob! Sob! Sob!

 

9. Has anyone seen my keys, checkbook, kids, mail, car, purse, youth, or Jolene cream bleach?

 

10. The sky called. It wants your ass to plug the ozone layer.

 

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April 1, 2013 · 3 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « The Eight Questions Meme
Next Post: PROMPTuesday #216: The One Thing »

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Comments

  1. Charlene Ross says

    April 2, 2013 at 9:15 am

    OMG – Dying. And laughing hysterically. (In a peeing my pants sort of way – not that I do that. At. All.)

    #s 6, 7, & 8 are my favorites! Motherf#ch you dickface! Holy crap! (Did I mention the peeing my pants?)

    Reply
  2. My Inner Chick says

    April 2, 2013 at 2:48 pm

    ~oooooOh, My,
    I was smiling until #6..now I’m laughing my ass off.
    FaB!

    Reply
  3. heidi says

    April 12, 2013 at 8:09 am

    Hilarious! Especially #6. I am not looking forward to this. I already feel crazy enough. I can’t imagine it multiplied by a thousand.

    Reply

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