• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Stripper Halloween

It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like a Stripper Halloween

Etcetera

 

(What my eight-year-old wants to be for Halloween)

 

 

(How I see her in my THE-WHOLE-WORLD-IS-GROWING-UP-TOO-FAST-AND-BLINDLY-ACCEPTING-THE-WOMANIZATION-OF-OUR-LITTLE-GIRLS mind’s-eye.)

 

I’d like to know what happened to kids’ Halloween costumes. Like, when did Paris Hilton start designing them? Because slutty is totally on sale at Party City.

 

The girls just wanted simple vampire girl and devil costumes. You know, a black dress, a red pant suit, maybe some fangs and horns. Instead, the options were sleazy Oktoberfest zombie Twilight girl and Dante’s s#x slave, the toddler version.

 

Toots tried on her devil get-up (kids’ size 8, short, flimsy red dress, black fishnet stockings, long ruby earrings), and I about called the church for a ho exorcism. And the sad thing is, we can’t find anything that’s more appropriate for a little kid.

 

I suppose I could make something myself, but my crafting black thumbs tell me that’s totally out of the question.

 

So, a few suggestions for appropriatizing your children’s Halloween wear:

 

1) Drape them in a sheet. Don’t forget to cut eye and nose holes! Small ones only. You don’t want to show too much skin, but it’s good if they can bring air into their lungs.

2) Put them in a long muslin dress, accented with a simple kitchen apron. They’re Amish!

3) Give them your old maternity clothes, add a forehead furrow and disproving scowl. What kid doesn’t want to be mommy for Halloween?

4) Call Justice and ask it to take its disco-trollop-cheese-wear mind meld off your daughters, which makes it a societal norm for children under 10 to ask to be Kim Kardashian for Halloween.

5) Allow your kids to pick their costumes only from the Bible (New-Testament, post-Sodom-and-Gomorrah only).

 

Together, we can make our kids look like big dorks! We don’t care if all their friends have cooler moms who are going to be naughty nurses at the neighborhood party while you show up dressed like Suze Orman!

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

October 15, 2012 · 2 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « PROMPTuesday #206: A Re-Do
Next Post: It’s OK to Not Be Cool »

Reader Interactions

Leave a ReplyCancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. Green Girl in Wisconsin says

    October 16, 2012 at 6:23 am

    Applauding you here–and linking to your post.

    Reply
  2. Nancy says

    October 16, 2012 at 11:43 am

    One word: Yuck.

    And I don’t even have kids.

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

San Diego Momma
Mother’s mob! ❤️❤️❤️ Mother’s mob! ❤️❤️❤️
The most fun. Highly recommend. Not the people (I The most fun. Highly recommend. Not the people (I recommend them, yet they are MINE)… but the whole Brunch Bash thing! (Look up San Diego Magazine Insiders….). Lots of fun and food and frocktails (tried to make it alliterative)…
Frat party dayger! (We were there for 30 minutes.) Frat party dayger!
(We were there for 30 minutes.) ;)
#FamilyWeekend
The ultrasound photo, shower invite, and birth ann The ultrasound photo, shower invite, and birth announcement still look new…but YOU are 19!!!
Happy Birthday baby girl!!!!
@alexawillliams
Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years… Circumstance Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years…
Circumstances have changed since post-Prom-picnic-circa-1986-vibes…
#WhereIsBryanAdamsNow
Dorm drop! 🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕 Dorm drop!
🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕
💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫 💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT