• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / The Vast and Beautiful Sound of Silence

The Vast and Beautiful Sound of Silence

Etcetera

 

In the days when I’d visit my dear friend Rebecca, I remembered silence. Those afternoons of unrelenting nothing. Of near to zero noise and conversation and TV buzz. So many days, a million, we’d sit cross-legged from each other, she in her rocking chair, I in a vintage gold velvet-covered, straight-back number, and just melt into air. In complete repose, Rebecca would cross her hands over her chest of many colors — how she loved color — while I’d struggle for something to say to bridge the vast resounding quiet. There was this teeny smile that’d play over Rebecca’s lips because she knew how I roiled against the not talking and filling the gaps with small talk, but as always, she knew me well enough to know I could learn a lesson.

 

My eyes darted and skimmed and eventually settled because if someone doesn’t want to talk, no amount of your nervousness is going to make her. I smelled the musky dried lavender she’d collected a year earlier and placed in one of her small glass containers, probably a jelly jar; and I heard the calla lilies outside her window stroke each other’s silk, and there was a clock ticking. Soon enough, I stopped hearing it. But there were pictures — so many! — that she painted with an impossibly steady hand for 92 years old, and scriptures, and newsboy caps on boys who’d died in 1912.

 

And I absorbed them all into my ether until I’m quite unseparate from those melting minutes days.

 

We didn’t stay that way too long because Rebecca took pity and pulled out something she wrote or I wrote and asked me to read. All this naked nearness — without silly sounds to plug the ticking clock — let me hear who I was and what I wanted and who I was, to me, the most important part because we do forget.

 

There’d be these simple, so complicatedly simple sentences she’d give me, which against the billowing silence grew round and profound and distilled the deepest confusion of the soul into its smallest part — you know who you are, you know who you are, you know who you are.

 

She knew who I was.

 

She made it so I would know too.

 

Now there’s noise, most which I make myself. Taking the time to take time is lost like feathers to the wind. I hear, I say, “Look at me! Look at me! Look at me!” and it makes me tired and scattered. I’ve forgotten to look inside. There’s too much outside.

 

But I’m quite unseparate from those melting minutes days.

 

Because there is always the silence.

 

It calls like November, like crossed hands on a chest, an empty chair, dried flowers breaking when you don’t notice, when you’re asleep even while awake; it cries, it keens, it pulls at you.

 

It knows who you are.

 

And if you’re lucky you find the person, you even, who listens until the noise outside fails to scare you into who you are not. Any more.

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

November 25, 2011 · 7 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « Holiday Entertaining: Food/Drink Ideas!
Next Post: PROMPTuesday #173: Found »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. Sugar Jones says

    November 25, 2011 at 5:15 pm

    This is why I love going to the beach. To turn off the sounds that I voluntarily submerge myself in every day. To hear nothing but the ocean itself. I still hear voices and cars and birds and other noises in the air… but they are distant when I’m watching the waves break on the shore. I could walk in my neighborhood, but the peace that comes from being at the beach is worth going a little bit out of the way.

    Reply
  2. Holly says

    November 26, 2011 at 8:21 am

    Thank you for another beautiful piece from the poet in residence.

    I love your work. Have you ever considered an anthology on Kindle? Knowing you, though, I would think you would prefer the paper and ink variety (createspace from Amazon.com).

    Big hugs!

    Holly

    Reply
  3. tinsenpup says

    November 26, 2011 at 3:54 pm

    You just get better and better at expressing the inexpressible. I think she’d be proud.

    Reply
  4. April says

    November 26, 2011 at 8:52 pm

    I once had a friend who was this person for me. The person who I could sit with in silence and it was perfectly okay. I could just be me, simply me. He had a way of bringing out the real me, the honest, stripped down version of what others saw. Even though he died two years ago, I consider myself lucky to have had his friendship and this experience in my life. Some people never that get that opportunity.

    Great post. Thank you!

    Reply
  5. Cactus Petunia says

    November 27, 2011 at 12:15 am

    Beautiful. Silence is golden.

    Reply
  6. julie gardner says

    November 28, 2011 at 11:54 am

    I too roil against the not talking. I fill the gaps with small talk.

    But this took my breath away. Enough to shut me up for a while.

    And then some.

    Reply
  7. The Sweetest says

    November 28, 2011 at 5:02 pm

    Beautiful piece. I love to sit in silence with people I love and feel close to. But I have the hardest time not talking with others.

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

sandiegomomma

sandiegomomma
Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years… Circumstance Back in Lake Geneva after 36 years…
Circumstances have changed since post-Prom-picnic-circa-1986-vibes…
#WhereIsBryanAdamsNow
Dorm drop! 🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕 Dorm drop!
🏫👩‍🏫🥲💕
💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫 💫Travel poster for Saturday wine tasting.💫
Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Celebrating the new 16-year-old with a quick Santa Monica trip.
And now she knows she doesn’t want to live in LA….
#LifeLessons
It’s happening….. It’s happening…..
Barely tolerating me….. Barely tolerating me…..
Beach day with my “little” one while big sis e Beach day with my “little” one while big sis explores Cal Poly…
Life transitions. Beautiful but I haz the olds.
#NotAboutMe #Whhhhyyyyy
A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDo A rare Bubbie sighting. Spotted in the wild. #HeDoesntLikePictures
Sunset squad. Brought a picnic and drinks to Del M Sunset squad.
Brought a picnic and drinks to Del Mar and watched the waves and horizon. Not too crowded or cold - another good hang with the neighborhood gang! ❤️❤️
Imprinting 2021 holidays on my brain (and in my In Imprinting 2021 holidays on my brain (and in my Instagram) (and in my antibodies). It’s a COVID New Year’s Eve…
Husband and I down for the count(down).
BUT. We’re doing decent and it’s cozy up in here…
Winery times! Winery times!
Guys on couch watching football; girls in kitchen Guys on couch watching football; girls in kitchen talking about everything.
Smells like a Sunday neighbor night. ;)
Line dancing lessons… My two left feet did nothi Line dancing lessons…
My two left feet did nothing right - but they did it with gusto.
Looking for a new book to read! #BookClub Despite Looking for a new book to read! #BookClub Despite the seeming divine intervention from above, we weren’t struck with the “perfect” next book to put on our list…..
Post-white-water-rafting super exhaustion. (Oh my Post-white-water-rafting super exhaustion.
(Oh my gosh you guys…! No! I’m not a sports model! But I totally understand how you might think so.) 😜😜😜
I wanted my hair to do that. #NordicSisters I wanted my hair to do that.
#NordicSisters
Dad’s hats on the people who loved/knew/laughed/ Dad’s hats on the people who loved/knew/laughed/sang with him.
Miss you Dad. Hope we do your hats justice. Lord knows we’ll have fun in them, just like you did. 😇
Paso Robles! Wine tasting beauty. It’s stunning Paso Robles! Wine tasting beauty. It’s stunning here. And the landscape is nice too ;).
Found my brother’s old ad copy. Good fun-writing Found my brother’s old ad copy. Good fun-writing inspiration...
Just in case I wasn’t feeling ancient enough, th Just in case I wasn’t feeling ancient enough, the rainbow jumper and white bobby socks oughta do it. No but wait! There’s a bowl cut. Annnnnnnddd giant gold-rimmed specs.
#CentennialFashion
Load More... Follow on Instagram
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2023 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled
Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.
Non-necessary
Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.
SAVE & ACCEPT