• Skip to primary navigation
  • Skip to main content
  • Skip to primary sidebar
  • Skip to footer
  • About
  • Contact
  • Blog
  • San Diego Momma
  • Nav Social Menu

    • Email
    • Facebook
    • Instagram
    • Pinterest
    • Twitter
San Diego Momma

San Diego Momma

Sharing some humor, a bit of writing and way too much information

Home / Etcetera / I’m Doing a Body Cleanse

I’m Doing a Body Cleanse

Etcetera

Not sure if you all remember this:

 

 

Or this:

 

 

Or way back in the day, this:

 

(I used to have semi-musculature!)

 

But here’s what’s been happening:

 

Hold on…I need to find the most apt word…

 

The one that really sums up my healthy activities of the last three months.

 

It needs to the just-the-right word.

 

Realllly perfect.

 

Um…

 

WAIT!

 

I got it, Jove!

 

It’s nothing.

 

Nothing’s been happening.

 

A BIG, FAT absence of something.

 

I have sat on my butt and unexercised less in the past few months than in all the trimesters of my pregnancies put together.

 

I am so unhealthy. Like, really, grossly, unkemptly, portly-ey, greasily, gassily, unhealthy.

 

I don’t even CRAVE green things anymore. Unless the green thing is made with a soft serve ice cream dispenser or Wesson Corn Oil.

 

In addition, I think high fructose corn syrup is a vegetable.

 

And there are more nachos in my gut than rosaries in Rome.

 

So when, yesterday, a lovely, glowing woman of health asked me if I wanted to cleanse next week, I said no.

 

But then my ass said yes.

 

And because my ass could smother me in my sleep, my ass won.

 

So I will cleanse.

 

With this stuff:

 

 

And there are solids on the plan, so I will not die of liquid asphyxiation, I hope. (Each day I get two fresh pressed green juices, a superfood smoothie, raw soup, salad, immunity elixir, teas, supplements, and other amazing items of health!)

 

I start Monday.

 

And I end Monday. (I’m just testing it out, see.)

 

But apparently my healthy button will be re-set and so will my ass deflato button.

 

Stay tuned!

 

And if you live in San Diego, there’s a special going on this cleanse until November 10. Let me know if you’re interested in knowing what it is, and I will tell you who to contact.

 

Sincerely,

San Diego Momma, Ass Association of America, Honorary Member and Hall of Famer

 

P.S. I’ve never done a “cleanse” before unless you count the six days before Prom ’85 when I only ate candy corn.

 

Share this:

  • Twitter
  • Facebook

November 9, 2011 · 8 Comments

Sure I’d love to see you again

Previous Post: « Of Unicorns and Firemen
Next Post: Holiday Comforts »

Reader Interactions

Leave a Reply Cancel reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

Comments

  1. Smalltown Me says

    November 9, 2011 at 6:19 pm

    That actually looks pretty good. And the salad looks gourmet! Wish they delivered to Santa Barbara.

    Reply
  2. green girl in wisconsin says

    November 10, 2011 at 8:48 am

    Good luck cleansing. I’ve never had any urge to try that, even though people claim it makes them feel great.

    Reply
  3. Chrisy says

    November 10, 2011 at 10:26 am

    I love the idea of a cleanse! I did the Master Cleanse for three days once. I was starving, but I liked it and it worked. That salad in the photo is making me hungry. Can’t wait to hear how things go. Good luck and cleanse hard! XO

    Reply
  4. tracy@sellabitmum says

    November 10, 2011 at 10:41 am

    Good luck – and I would totally sign up for the candy corn cleanse.

    Reply
  5. Mama Mary says

    November 10, 2011 at 7:21 pm

    I want to try a cleanse, desperately. In fact, it should be on my bucket list post from today. Maybe in the new year. Can I sign up for the discount, but wait til January to do it?

    Reply
  6. julie gardner says

    November 10, 2011 at 9:15 pm

    I can’t wait to hear how this goes.

    Really.

    I’m a little freakishly interested. Which is disturbing, but I’m telling myself it’s because I’m really into health.

    Or candy corn.

    Reply
  7. Charlotte says

    November 11, 2011 at 12:53 am

    I have a friend doing the master cleanse. I am thinking about doing it myself. I donno if I can not eat tho. Is this cleanse you are doing available only in San Diego?

    Reply
  8. Aunt Snow (g) says

    November 15, 2011 at 10:47 am

    The only cleanse I’ve ever done was prep for colon surgery – but hey, being sick helped me lose 5 pounds!

    Now I’m healthy and can eat anything I want and guess what? 5 pounds came back!

    How much are the dues for the Ass Assocation of America?

    Reply

Primary Sidebar

I love words. Every one, every time. (Except “moist.” That word can go.) …read more

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Sure. I’d love to see you again.

Categories

Archives

Blogroll

  • Blog This Mom
  • Da Goddess
  • Dirt and Noise
  • Discover San Diego
  • Foolery
  • Juggling Life
  • Mama Mary Show
  • Mel, A Dramatic Mommy
  • Mom Zombie
  • Mommy’s Martini
  • Motherhood is Not for Wimps
San Diego Momma

Footer

Archives

  • Email
  • Facebook
  • Instagram
  • Pinterest
  • Twitter

Categories

Christmas carols for dad... Through the nursing ho Christmas carols for dad...
Through the nursing home window...
❤️
Mama’s mid-century vibes and dad’s suit swagge Mama’s mid-century vibes and dad’s suit swagger...
Walked a 5K for Wounded Warriors last night and de Walked a 5K for Wounded Warriors last night and despite my phone being stolen right before this pic, I couldn’t deny there are still good things in the world like red sunsets. Even if thieves and bad people muck stuff up every now and again.
Well. One of us takes her time to carve things rig Well. One of us takes her time to carve things right....No. I don’t know what it is. (It was supposed to be Chucky but she carved the wrong parts.) (I still admire the attention to detail.)
#OneDayHH — 8:23PM — Felt like the right time #OneDayHH — 8:23PM —
Felt like the right time to try Schitt’s Creek again. I couldn’t get into it last I tried.
But non-football-watching wives of football watchers do as they must do. And they must do it alone.
#OneDayHH — 6PM — Early evening still life. #OneDayHH — 6PM — 
Early evening still life. 
Husband working/watching football.
Outdoor cushions sheltered from possible rain showers tonight.
Buddha watching over all.
#OneDayHH — 3:50PM — Pulled my old diary out y #OneDayHH — 3:50PM — Pulled my old diary out yesterday for a work something...
About to put it back and this earnestness catches my eye from adolescent Debbie...
😳
  • About
  • Contact
  • Privacy Policy

Copyright © 2021 · Hello Chicky

We use cookies on our website to give you the most relevant experience by remembering your preferences and repeat visits. By clicking “Accept”, you consent to the use of ALL the cookies.
Do not sell my personal information.
Cookie settingsACCEPT
Privacy & Cookies Policy

Privacy Overview

This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. These cookies will be stored in your browser only with your consent. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. But opting out of some of these cookies may have an effect on your browsing experience.
Necessary
Always Enabled

Necessary cookies are absolutely essential for the website to function properly. This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. These cookies do not store any personal information.

Non-necessary

Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. It is mandatory to procure user consent prior to running these cookies on your website.