I find myself in a bit of a transformation. I say “a bit,” because I tend to take to these things slowly, instead of speeding full throttle into change. Still, I can’t deny that certain situations and people have been put in my life at a time when I am ready to be different, and while it is good — I know this — it’s unsettling too.
You may ask how I know I’m undergoing a fundamental shift, and I can tell you it’s how you know you are cold or hungry or breathing. It’s biological almost, some budding kernel living in the core of yourself, and you’re aware it’s there, but unsure how it took root.
But it’s happening — right now — and I’m grateful for it.
Are you in the midst of a transformation?
Here’s how you might know:
1. Are certain people in your life no longer working for you?
Who surrounds you? Supportive, loving, constructive people? Or passive aggressive sorts? Gossipers? Status-seekers? Maybe you just don’t feel “right” with your old group anymore. If you’re starting to see that you’re not feeling soul synergies with those you spend the most time with, you might be ready to move on and allow more positive people in your life. If you begin to consciously choose to not spend as much time with people who don’t mirror your best self, you could be transforming.
2. You find yourself meeting different kinds of people than usual.
This past year, some people have entered my life who I knew right off were there to teach me something, make me better, challenge me to rise up. These people are interested in achieving great things, unfettered by thoughts of insecurity and “can’t.” As a result, I’m realizing what I am capable of achieving, and believing I can. If you find yourself shedding old belief systems and labels, and meeting more people who don’t buy into either, you could be smack dab in the middle of a soul paradigm shift.
3. You’re making different decisions.
This could be saying yes more, saying no more, not saying anything at all. Maybe where you once were loud, you’re now quiet. Maybe you’re speaking up where your silence used to rule. Whatever it is, you are willing to buck old habits and thought processes.
4. You’re more open than usual.
Open-minded, open-hearted, open-ended. You understand you don’t have all the answers, but you let them come. You relax into the not knowing.
5. Things that used to matter to you don’t anymore.
First and foremost? What other people think. You proceed knowing you need to be right with you. You learn the difference between opinion and judgment. You consult your higher self. You know you know. You trust what you know.
6. You’re scared.
Yes, you are. But what scares you more is staying the same.
Meanwhile, I’d like to publicly call out someone who has been a good friend to me over the years. Someone I’ve never met, but who teaches me with every comment he leaves and message he sends. His positive attitude, openness, and support mean a lot to me, but I don’t think I’ve ever told him so. Most wonderfully of all, he has been willing to share some of how he underwent his own transformation, which gives me the courage to continue with mine. Thanks, Ferd.
I’m learning this is what the 40’s are all about. It’s scary to let go of old insecurities and be secure and positive. But, thrilling too.
I see the change and I will raise you one. I have no idea what that means but it just flowed so I wrote it.
Seriously though, I’m so proud of how far you have come and where I know you will end up. You are an amazing woman who I am proud to call my friend.
Damn. Thank you for this. It hit at the perfect time, the perfect day, the perfect hour. This minute I can do nothing but sit here in gratitude.
Wow, Deb. I’m speechless. – No, I’m not. – Thank you! Your posts have always touched me with your honesty, and of course your cool, funky style.
If I have said anything meaningful in my comments, I take no credit for it. If I had known more stuff years ago, my life would not have turned into the mess it did. What I have learned has all come from others. All it took from me was a degree of awareness and willingness, and I don’t take credit for those either. I was simply blessed with enough of that to have allowed my learning and growth. If I have been able to pass along some of what I have learned, well that makes me very happy. You are doing the same thing! Your list is awesome and I’m saving it!
I agree with Trish. The 40’s are the time for our midlife tasks. By then we should know enough of ourselves and the world to be able to see ourselves clearly. We should make the changes in our lives that need to be made in order to lead a happy and healthy rest of our lives. Some of us are blessed that way, and some of us aren’t. It IS thrilling and rewarding to do the good work of self improvement.
Thanks, again, Deb! You’re awesome!
:-)
Great post and so true! Please, please don’t dump me…I need a roomie at BlogHer :)
Some of your list is happening to me now. Some of the listed items I stare at across a room full of pretty people and I’m scared, scared, scared to leave my wall. But at least I know the list is valid for someone I admire and like so much. Thanks, Deb.
I found this post via flutter, and…WOW. i was meant to find this. this is exactly my life right now. exactly.
thanks so much for putting it into words for me.
I read this and realize I’ve been transforming my whole life. *sigh*
I look at this as a soul cleansing of sorts. I couple of New Years ago, I decided I needed to clean out my inner closet. Feeling all the signs inside of my, like you’ve mentioned in this post, flashing like neon warnings that something needs to change. My influences weren’t satisfying me anymore, and some were having more of a negative impact on my life. And so, I cleaned out that inner closet, and I never look back. In fact, now I feel more aware of those signs and at times give myself a ‘diagnostics check’ and take a moment to really focus and see if I am due for another cleansing. So far so good. LOL
Great post. Thank you
yes, yes it is, lately. and Im so glad it is, too. thank you for writing and validating some things I havent spoken out loud :)